For as much as we tend to bag on hipsters – despite probably qualifying for entry-level hipster status – I have a great deal of respect for those valiant promoters of vintage, because they produce some events that are just delightfully random. For instance, people have been gathering every year since 2005 to honor the era of the gentleman competitor with the Chap Olympiad, which was held this past weekend in London’s Bedford Square Gardens.

What exactly is the Chaps Olympiad? Well, good sir, allow the Telegraph to educate your unenlightened scoundrelesque mind before you further sully your reputation.

Chaps consider themselves a dying breed who wear horn-rimmed spectacles, listen to music on the wireless, wear smoking jackets, cravats, bow ties and give each other tips on moustache growing and getting a proper shine on leather shoes.

The concept of their games is to pay tribute to a time gone by and make a stand against vulgarity, to celebrate the “gentleman” and the “dandy” and take part in some rather eccentric games.

Sure, I saw the word “dandy”, rolled my eyes, and groaned, because I prefer my sports to be the opposite of foppish, but it appears that these Chaps events are right on course with the gentleman drinker’s ultimate challenges.

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Ever since that whole “Occupy” thing started way back when, I was always curious as to why there weren’t more protesters at sporting events, railing against those millionaire athletes and billionaire owners for having all that success and money and not giving it away for free. But aside from a few threats of protesting the Super Bowl (too cold in Indy) and World Series (St. Louis fans will kill someone for ruining their baseball), the Occupy folks have been relatively quiet about sports. I figure it’s because they spent so much time ignoring sports as kids, so why should they pay attention now?

Australian world-saver and Occupy “member” Trenton Oldfield is ready to buck that trend, and he began his crusade against elitism in sports this weekend by disrupting the 183rd run of the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race.

An intruder protesting against elitism and privilege brought both boats to a standstill just over halfway through the 4 1/4-mile race when he swam into the middle of the River Thames and narrowly avoided being struck by the oars of both crews. (Via NBC Sports)

Take that, old wealth!

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I’ve always agreed with the popular belief that the Super Bowl should be regularly held in San Diego or Miami, because the weather is awesome and people would enjoy it more. Along the same brilliant lines of logic, I also believe that the Summer Olympics should always be held in places like Brazil, Brazil or Brazil, because…

*whistles, points up, winks*

Unfortunately, some Debbie Downers out there not only disagree with me about locale, as the 2012 games are in London, but now they’re also firing back at the best part of women’s volleyball – bikini wedgies.

Under new rules adopted by the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB), players are free to wear shorts and sleeved tops. The governing body said the move was made out of respect for the cultural beliefs of some of the dozens of countries still in contention to qualify for the games.

“Many of these countries have religious and cultural requirements, so the uniform needed to be more flexible,” FIVB spokesman Richard Baker told The Associated Press on Tuesday. (Via the HuffPo)

Look, I’m a modern dude, so I’m hip to the religious and cultural importance scene. So I’m here to offer you a deal, International Volleyball Federation. For every one female athlete that covers up, one has to wear less. Like, if America’s Logan Tom wanted to, she could totally dress like this…

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Forgive this escape from sports for a moment, but as always I will use the disclaimer that world records are competitive and can therefore be included on this site. Anywho, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Electric Boogaloo Part 1 was released on DVD in England over the weekend, so one promotional company, under the belief that Twihards needed extra incentive to go to great lengths to show their obsessive loyalty, decided that the occasion was perfect for a world record attempt.

That record? Longest gathering of “brides” in one location.

You see, my inside sources on Crazy Single Women Island tell me that the marriage of Edward and Bella takes place in Part 1, so it makes sense that girls would buy wedding dresses and gather in one place – HMV Oxford Street – to take pictures with cardboard cutouts and one Edward impersonator, who doesn’t exactly look like the type to use this to his advantage, if you catch my sparkly drift.

As with all Guinness World Record attempts, it will take a few days to determine whether or not the Twilight faithful were successful in defeating the previous record holders, who I ignorantly assume live in Utah.

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British police have been intensely training this week for scenarios in which people might try to steal the Olympic torch during its famous relay leading up to the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. I like to think that they just paid random bums and junkies to go after it without telling them that it’s a training exercise. Maybe later they’ll add zombies into the mix. Anything to make the Olympics fun again. (Image via Reuters)

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"Seriously, Peter King, I'm here right now. You've got me here."

Despite not having the best of track records and a history of disagreements between the league, teams and city, Los Angeles is going to have another NFL team soon enough. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has made it clear that he recognizes L.A. as the second largest media market in the country, and he knows that he’s missing out by not having a team there. Of course, you also need a stadium and fans, but baby steps, people.

Ever since Al Davis moved the Raiders back to Oakland in 1995, a number of teams have been rumored to be potential replacements in L.A., including the most recent suspects of the St. Louis Rams, Jacksonville Jaguars and Minnesota Vikings. But Goodell doesn’t want to upset a strong fan base like the one in Minnesota or six people in Jacksonville, so he’s going with the logical solution – add more teams to the league and screw up the current perfect system.

Commissioner Roger Goodell said Thursday night on Costas Tonight: Live from the Super Bowl that when it comes to the national’s [sic] second-largest market, he’s now more inclined to expand than relocate existing clubs … even if it means expanding twice.

“Really, we want to keep our teams where they are, and that’s the dilemma because not only do we have to get the stadium in L.A., then we have to find out how to get the team,” said the commish.

As for potential expansion plans, Goodell said, “We probably don’t want to go to 33,” adding he prefers 34. (Via the Tucson-Citizen)

Of course he prefers 34. Then he can justify putting a team in London and he wins the professional sports space race of being the first league commish to establish a full-time team on another continent. The results will be magnificent, as David Stern and Bud Selig will summon their dark hell forces and reign 1,000 years of fire and plague upon this Earth until Goodell mounts Shadid Kahn’s mustache like a Pakistani Falcor and delivers his NFL faithful to Valhalla. Or something like that.