On Monday morning, country music legend Hank Williams Jr. (a man who, as The Daily Show With Jon Stewart pointed out, once fell off a mountain and cracked open his skull so badly he had to hold in his own brain) evoked Godwin’s Law and used the phrase “it’d be like Hitler” to start a sentence about President Barack Obama. This prompted ESPN to pull the singer’s classic “Are You Ready For Some Football?” theme from Monday Night Football, and as of this morning the Worldwide Leader In Football Preparedness decided to pull the song forever. Forever!
“We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams, Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of Monday Night Football has always been about the games and that will continue.”
Hanks response to the firing was the only thing you can write on the Internet more “Internet” than “blank is like Hitler”:
“After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision. By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It’s been a great run.” — Hank Williams Jr
He managed to hit all the best message-boards-and-comments-sections points, like
1. I am extremely popular and get hundreds of e-mails about everything.
2. I’m the only person who makes decisions.
3. I didn’t get fired, I quit
4. Anything that happens to me for saying something stupid is a violation of the First Amendment, also known as “I thought this was America”.
5. I am humble and appreciative despite all the weird mean things I’ve just said.
6. Signing his name to the end of a paragraph identified as being from him, posted on HankJr.com.
The only thing that would’ve made it better is if he’d admitted he was in the wrong a few days before. Wait, whoops!
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