Two truths:

1. According to Wikipedia, the cockney accent represents “working-class Londoners, particularly those in the East End”. According to most Americans, “white people” is an accent representing wherever you live, and everyone else in the world sounds weird and can’t speak English.

2. Unless somebody suddenly brings Rex Harrison back from the dead, our 2012 Olympic athletes are not going to sound like gentlemen and ladies.

A brief synopsis, courtesy of YouTube:

As the London 2012 Olympic Games get closer, we thought you might like to see a different side to some of the athletes of the U.S. Olympic Team. Everyone has been busy preparing for the Games on the sporting field but what about off it? The athletes of Team USA want to be good guests and say thank you to Britain for hosting the Games. To get to know their London hosts, watch how they get on in a challenge to learn to speak proper ‘Cockney.’.

For those of you who might not know the translation of the phrase, it means: “You can go mad in celebration if you win a medal!” Fingers crossed for Team GB and Team USA athletes to win lots!

The best part is watching their brains try to process “different accent” and shifting to their default accent voice, be it Asian (probably because of the word “oriental”), John Wayne (good job, Debbie Capozzi) or my favorite, Logan Tom’s “aggressive urban”. You can go chicken oriental MY SON~!

Next up in the headphones: learning to speak respectfully when visiting foreign lands!

[h/t to the dastardly Chris Chase at Fourth-Place Medal]

I’ve always agreed with the popular belief that the Super Bowl should be regularly held in San Diego or Miami, because the weather is awesome and people would enjoy it more. Along the same brilliant lines of logic, I also believe that the Summer Olympics should always be held in places like Brazil, Brazil or Brazil, because…

*whistles, points up, winks*

Unfortunately, some Debbie Downers out there not only disagree with me about locale, as the 2012 games are in London, but now they’re also firing back at the best part of women’s volleyball – bikini wedgies.

Under new rules adopted by the International Volleyball Federation (FIVB), players are free to wear shorts and sleeved tops. The governing body said the move was made out of respect for the cultural beliefs of some of the dozens of countries still in contention to qualify for the games.

“Many of these countries have religious and cultural requirements, so the uniform needed to be more flexible,” FIVB spokesman Richard Baker told The Associated Press on Tuesday. (Via the HuffPo)

Look, I’m a modern dude, so I’m hip to the religious and cultural importance scene. So I’m here to offer you a deal, International Volleyball Federation. For every one female athlete that covers up, one has to wear less. Like, if America’s Logan Tom wanted to, she could totally dress like this…

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