Nothing Sells The Lingerie Football League All-Star Game Like Womb Punching

Written by Brandon Stroud / 06.21.12

Lingerie Football punch

The Lingerie Football League is famous for a lot of things — youth camps, coach fights, contests where the grand prize is attacking your favorite woman — but is perhaps best known for its UNDERWEAR FIGHTS Y’ALL, which happen organically and are not staged at all.

The latest underwear fight (in the form of an LFL All-Star Game teaser, which is hilarious) features Tessa Barrara of the Los Angeles Temptation delivering a late hit on Kyle DeHaven of the Baltimore Charm and getting punched in the stomach. What follows is an Old Man in A Christmas Story-style profane tirade that begs the question — What does it mean when one woman calls another a “f**king pussy”?

Welcome to football! The NSFW video is after the jump.

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Strip These Guys Down To Their Underwear And Let Them Fight

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.11.12

lingerie-football-league-coaches-fight

The following video carries a loose “viewer discretion advised” tag because I’m not sure where to draw the line, and there is a pretty flagrant use of the f-word and at least 20 confused women standing around in their underwear. At the same time, I’m pretty sure those are the only two things that happen during a Lingerie Football Game.

Anyway, during the Lingerie Football All-Star Game in Mexico City, Western Conference coach Tony Nguyen got into it with Eastern Conference coach Chandler Brown for something that happened on the field before a kick went out of bounds. They squared off mid-field, and here we are, watching two grown men come to blows over what happened in Mexico when one group of underwear ladies did something uncool to the other.

Video is below.

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Lingerie Football’s Top Prize: Hitting A Woman

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.28.11

lingerie-football-league-lingerie-bowl

We’ve written about the Lingerie Football League a lot on With Leather lately, from their condescending video titles on YouTube to their 4Chan-friendly plans for pee-wee lingerie football, but the latest bit of news from the worldwide leader in mic’d panty shields may be the worst of all — Lingerie Football is offering one “lucky” fan a chance to hit their favorite LFL player during halftime at the Lingerie Bowl IX.

Yes, there’s a Lingerie Bowl. Yes, there have been nine of them.

Here’s your chance to score with the LFL! We’re giving one lucky fan the opportunity to experience what true fantasy football really is with a chance to tackle an LFL team player during halftime at Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas! Enter now for your chance to win a VIP trip for you and a friend to Las Vegas and see if you can take down an LFL Player.

Prizing Includes:

  • Roundtrip airfare for 2 to Las Vegas, NV
  • 2 night hotel accommodations at the Palms Casino & Resort
  • 2 Tickets to Lingerie Bowl IX
  • Chance to tackle an LFL Player during halftime
  • VIP Experience: Private meet & greets, no-wait VIP access to Lingerie Bowl Weekend parties in Vegas, autographed merchandise
  • $250 Gift card

Maybe it’s just that kindness and sexual decency have put me in a position where I can touch a woman for a few seconds without having to win a contest, but what the hell is the selling point to being allowed to tackle a female Underwear Football player, and when did professional sports become the V.I.P. room at Pandora’s Men’s Club? Has there even been a more rapey sweepstakes prize? Do people watch Lingerie Football in the hopes that they might one day hurt their favorite player? I guess that makes sense. “Oh man, she’s wearing garters, and I get to sprint into her stomach with my shoulder and lie on top of her for a few seconds before security drags me away and shuffles me off to the Bellagio with a f**king VISA gift card.”

Somebody win this contest and refuse it. I think the team that wins the Lingerie Bowl should win the right to play their next season in pants.

[sorrowful h/t to Sportress]

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Lingerie Football Comes To Blows

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.26.11

lingerie-football-fightThat doesn’t sound right.

During last week’s underwear confrontation between the Tampa Bay Breeze and the Cleveland Crush, Tampa Bay’s Julie Rolfe and got into a fight with Cleveland’s Tamar Fennell. I don’t follow the league closely and only infrequently update my LFL fantasy team (“Women Aren’t People”, Yahoo! champs two years running) but it played out a lot closer to a hockey fight than the goofy hair-pulling, pillow-fighting tiff suggested by the “Kicking And Scratching” part of the video title. Not sure why a league built on sensationalism would think a fistfight needed the “naughty” element, but whatever, I’m not the troglodyte-browed creep in charge.

Also funny is the announcers, who play the “penalize them and let them keep playing” card without ever coming out and saying how badly they’ll miss staring at those particular lady-asses.

Between the clandestine e-mails of intent and plans for a youth-oriented lingerie farm system, I’m started to get worried about where this is all going. When you started I thought you were going to be like the Bud Bowl. Now you’re like the strip club downtown where I feel like everybody’s getting abused.

Can’t someone of relative import step in and spraypaint “that’s enough, Lingerie Football League” on the wall?

[h/t Guyism]

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Lingerie Football Youth League: A Bad Idea To Almost Everyone

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.21.11

Lingerie-Football-Youth-League

There’s no delicate way to phrase this. The Lingerie Football League, wherein women play 7-on-7 tackle American football wearing helmets and their underwear for male fans not satisfied with the physicality of pre-existing cheerleaders, has decided that lingerie football is empowering to women and are looking to start a version of the league for children. “Fully clothed, of course!” says the report, and the statement issued by founder and chairman (and man, and possible GEICO Caveman) Mitchell Mortaza is even less reassuring.

“Obviously the improvement of our game is directly tied into the development of the future LFL athlete. What excites us at the league is seeing the caliber of athletes improve so vastly each season, now imagine in five years when we start fielding athletes that have trained their entire life for the opportunity to play LFL Football.”

Yes. Imagine. Then, imagine how exciting it would be if they could play football without their vagina hanging out.

You can check out a report from Seattle’s King5.com after the jump, followed quickly by five things terrible about it.

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Finally, Another Fight In Lingerie Football

Written by JOSH Z / 12.21.10

I have it on good authority that this is how they roll in Dade County. When the Tampa Breeze and Miami Caliente square off, you can throw the records, bras and panties out the window, but keep the paternity suits, comments about being “just dancers because we don’t strip all the way,” fake tanning, real tanning, cardio, hot yoga, pilates, and maybe some silicone implants in there as well. And yet the NFL forced us to watch the Niners in primetime earlier this month.

But yeah…fight. It’s quite awesome, but we’re not responsible if you incur an epileptic seizure. Just lie back aind enjoy it on the next page, because this would never happen in women’s college basketball. Not that I would know.

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