What you’re looking at may or may not be the new Miami Marlins logo.

“Official unveiling 11/11 (Nov. 11),” texted Marlins president David Samson. “No other comment.”

It could be completely fake, which makes us think it is 100% real. If you’re looking for an other comment, here are a few — my friend Mike says it looks like the old Prism TV logo. David Brown of Big League Stew thinks it looks like an upside-down version of the W Hotels W. I think it looks like something I’d drive or drive over in F-Zero.

So many questions. What happened to the marlin? It used to look like a fish, now it’s just a vaguely Marlin-shaped swoosh. Where’s the teal? You’re getting rid of the teal? Your team came from the 1990s, Florida, don’t try to make me forget that. Are the Rockies going to debut their red, white and blue uniforms next year? What’s going to happen to Billy Marlin? The man’s head is teal. Are you going to replace him with colors? If I have my birthday party at New Marlins Ballpark will I have to pay $150 to get my picture taken with colors?

This could be a soft launch, like when Green Lantern tried to promote itself by accidentally showing us Blake Lively’s boobs, or it could be a complete fabrication. The color scheme matches the logo they have on Marlins.com for the new ballpark, but I could go on Worth1000 and post a picture of the Insane Clown Posse riding a leaping tiger, and if I show it to enough people it’ll pop up on HuffPo tomorrow morning as Detroit’s “new, rumored logo”. So who knows?

Something 1990s this way comes.

From Found Footage Fest emerges “It Ain’t Worth It!”, an abstinence-awareness PSA wherein the sports stars of the 90s explain the dangers of unprotected (and protected) sex in the most 90s way imaginable. You can watch the video below, but here’s a recap: David Robinson is playing a game of pick-up basketball and gets pissed off because his goofy white teammate is too busy looking at women (or “honeys”) to contribute. This prompts Robinson, A.C. Green and Barry Sanders (holding a basketball for some reason) to use rap music, a Trapper Keep aesthetic and what appear to be girls from “In Living Color’s” Fly Girl developmental league to inform teens that penis-to-vagina interaction can cause instant death and possibly explosions. I don’t know, they just really want me to not do it.

Watch the video yourself, then leave us a comment to explain whether you believe sexual intercourse is or is ain’t worth it.

All this video needed was a white kid who looks like he should be a part of the Burger King Kids Club saying “but I WANNA have sex!” and getting between a girl’s legs before he’s stopped by Garfield and one or more of the Ninja Turtles.

[prophylactic tip to Sportress of Blogitude]

Pull on your Z. Cavaricci’s and slap on your, well, slap bracelets, because the United Football League has its up-and-coming finger directly on the pulse of football fan fever. Screw the NFL and their Dave Matthews Band playing with a huge New Orleans street jazz ensemble, and forget stupid old Green Day and their Meadowlands halftime show. No way, brah! The UFL is kicking off with the radical sounds of Sugar Ray. Unfortunately, Smash Mouth and the Nixons were unavailable due to not paying their phone bills.

Mark McGrath and Co. will play the halftime show of the season opener between the Las Vegas Locomotives and the Florida Tuskers this Saturday at Sam Boyd Stadium. The Locos opened last season to a reported crowd of just under 15,000 people. The bad news is that local newspapers suggested it was closer to 5,000. The badder news is that the stadium holds 45,000. But the good news is that Sugar Ray is used to playing for crowds at bar mitzvahs.

Dance a little stranger and show me where you’ve been, NESN.com:

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