On Monday, we shared with you the best (Cactus Jack) and very, very worst (Hail) of World Championship Wrestling’s 8×10 promo photos from the 1990s. If you thought Dave Sullivan petting a rabbit was as deep as the well ran, you’re in for a treat.

Behold, part two of our epic WCW promo photos quest, once again visiting the pro wrestling company that threatened to put WWE out of business before collapsing in on itself and folding in the shadow of stars like Kwee Wee and Disqo. The next 50 WCW photos tell the story of the company … full of amazing pro wrestling talent, but also (unfortunately) full of everything else. Take a long, hard look at that picture of Ric Flair. If you can’t see the terror in his eyes, you’ll start to pick it up around slide 30.

If you showed part one to everybody you know, follow-up with this one.

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Update: Part 2 is now up. Check it out!

Back in September, we shared A Golden Treasury Of Cheesy Late-80s/Early-90s WWF Promo Photos, a collection of the best photos from pro wrestler 8x10s. If you missed that … yeah, you should click the link.

Anyway, I was never a WWF kid when I was growing up. I was born in southern Virginia and was raised on the National Wrestling Alliance — if you’re a WWF lifer, that means we had Ric Flair when you had Hulk Hogan — and eventually what the NWA became, World Championship Wrestling. You may remember WCW from its sudden, crazy popularity in the late 1990s when Hulk Hogan became a bad guy, Sting became The Crow and WWF put as many curse words and dick jokes on television as they could to combat it. Spoiler: the dick jokes won.

That said, WCW is still my favorite thing, and if I’m going to share the worst of WWF’s promo photos, I might as well dip into the endless well of embarrassment that is the WCW library. What follows is only part one of a series, because holy shit you will not believe some of these pictures.

Enjoy, and show this to everyone you’ve ever known.

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Welcome to the most 1990s thing that ever existed.

For anyone who doesn’t know, ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ was a live-action television series about teenagers who come together to use recycled Japanese action show footage to sell toys to American kids. It first aired on Fox Kids in 1993 and is still on, jumping from Fox to ABC to Toon Disney to Nickelodeon, changing its name and cast as many times as it needed to remain fresh. The most recent incarnation is ‘Power Rangers Super Samurai,’ but they’ve been Turbo, Zeo, in Space, in a Lost Galaxy and affixed with everything from time travel to dinosaurs and something called ‘jungle fury’.

Today, Sports On TV tackles the show that brought the Power Rangers to the dance — the first three seasons of ‘Mighty Morphin’ — featuring the original cast (mostly), the original bad guys and all the horrible dubbed-in dialogue and grainy footage that made the franchise a 20-year success. Yeah, I can’t figure it out either.

For your morphenomenal pleasures, I present to you my picks for the 20 greatest sports moments in ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ history.

As an added bonus, you can MAKE YOUR MONSTER GROWWWW and unlock the Rita Repulsa badge by sharing Sports On TV: Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ 20 Greatest Sports Moments on Facebook and Twitter. All you have to do is click the handy-dandy share buttons at the bottom of the post, and the badge is yours. What better way to say “I know a lady who spent 10,000 years on the moon”?

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Back in 1992, McDonald’s put bacon and barbecue sauce on a quarter-pounder with cheese and called it the ‘McJordan,’ because (according to the ad campaign), bacon, barbecue sauce and the other mustards and horse meats that go into making a quarter-pounder with cheese were Michael Jordan’s “favorite ingredients”. The promotion came and went, but it was not forgotten. You can’t just put your own bacon and barbecue sauce on a quarter-pounder, these are Michael Jordan’s FAVORITE INGREDIENTS and that dude was a PRO STAR, not to mention the greatest basketball player of all time. Some people were left craving McDonald’s unique blend of herbs and chemicals, unable to satiate their incredibly specific hungers. It’s just gone. Hell, I know how they feel. I was all about the Arch Deluxe for the however-many months that thing was around.

The story here should be, “hey, remember a cheeseburger from 20 years ago,” but some people never give up on their dreams. 20 full years later, a man has placed a winning bid on eBay of $9,995 for a jug of authentic McJordan barbecue sauce. Keep hope alive!

Who knows if that’s even McJordan barbecue sauce? Some Internet stranger could’ve made 10 grand putting George Foreman grill drainings into a service jug. Regardless, the bid has been placed, and somewhere, somehow, an assumedly super, super fat guy is accurately recreating something that was better than the McRib, but worse than literally all other food.

The funny thing is that Jordan didn’t even EAT the McJordan. He was a Big Mac man. Proof:

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You know those annoying Facebook macros going around with a picture of the Angry Beavers on it or whatever, with a big caption reading “ONLY 90S KIDS WOULD REMEMBER THIS CLICK LIKE” across the top? The Philadelphia Phillies made an entire night out of that.

Wednesday’s 3-2 loss to Brandon Bronson Arroyo was ’90s Retro Night at Citizens Bank Park, and as the mascot-loving guy behind the Sports On TV column I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t share the clip of the Phillie Phanatic dancing with the Spice (Ball) Girls or the hilariously thrown-together photoshops depicting Charlie Manuel as Wilson from ‘Home Improvement’, or whatever. It’s the kind of night that makes being at the ballpark fun, except for all the losing.

Most of the pictures come with a hat-tip to my good friend Mr. Joey Odorisio, and the ones that don’t are credited where applicable. What are you waiting for? Check them out. There’s a really creepy shot of Chase Utley as Dylan from ‘Beverly Hills 90210′ waiting somewhere on the other side of this jump.

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This is basically what I look like when I’m watching ‘The Wire’. Somebody draw this guy a warm bath for Christ’s sake. (via Awful Announcing)

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Links

Potentially the 11 Most Crowd-Pleasing TV Deaths of 2012 |Warming Glow|

The 20 Best Ozzie Guillen Misquotes |With Leather|

Memes Do Come True: ‘Texts From Hillary’ Bros Meet With Hillary Clinton |UPROXX|

Donald Glover Talks About His ‘Amazing Spider-Man’ Easter Egg |Gamma Squad|

The Most Obnoxious Generation: An American Reunion Review |Film Drunk|

On Urban Meyer, Amateurism & Winning |Smoking Section|

The James Van Der Beek 6 Stages Of Fame |UPROXX|

The Incredible Portrait In Portrait Art Of Kim Dong Yoo |UPROXX|

The Start Of Your Ending: Mobb Deep Breaks Up On Twitter? Hav Calls Prodigy Gay? |Smoking Section|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming |Film Drunk|

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 4/9/12: The One With The Three Stooges |With Leather|

Five “Science Reports” We’re Tired Of Seeing |Gamma Squad|

Chevy Chase on ‘Community’: It’s a ‘F*cking Mediocre Sitcom’ |Warming Glow|

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