The Dugout’s Spring Training 2011 event continues this afternoon with the Atlanta Braves, and the very real, serious story of minor league manager Luis Salazar losing a body part because he never became one with The Matrix and couldn’t dodge a line drive off the bat of Brian McCann.  In case you are new to The Dugout, I would like to openly express how little I would like to lose a body part myself, regardless of the situation.  I think that losing a body part would, probably, be a bad thing.

That said, here is a webcomic that manages to be ill-informed and somewhat theologically offensive at the same time.  Today’s Dugout follows, after the jump.  Leave us a comment, would you?  Unless you don’t want to SEE … the Dugout on With Leather anymore.

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Here’s a man who should probably consider a future of boxed seating. Though I’ve never really had the honor of lunging for a foul ball directed in the general vicinity of my well being besides the one time at a Reading Phillies game when a screaming liner ended up 8 rows above me and I found myself curled up under my seat in the fetal position begging every God in my memory bank for mercy, I’d have to assume that most human beings are generally capable of putting up a better attempt at fielding a foul ball then this poor unfortunate soul at last night’s Texas Rangers-Minnesota Twins game whose eye has seen better days. Let’s hope that eye wasn’t that important to him.

Though most people usually feel pretty safe surrounded by 40,000 people at a major league baseball game (unless you’re a Florida Marlins fan, in which you can change that number to 62), I’ve always found myself with that tiny thought in the back of my head that, you know, at any moment Ryan Howard could potentially knock my skull off. When I hear the crack of the bat at heart I always think, “Alright, which fat person am I hiding behind today?” This guy thought otherwise. Now this is purely assumption, of course, but when that ball is flying at your face at 120 miles per hour, the flight or fight kicks in and this dude decided that he had enough baseball chops to make the catch.

Unfortunately for him, his hands decided to outsource the catching duties to his left eye ball and we’re left laughing at a poor guy who just wanted to make his momma proud with a souvenir. Hey, for what it’s worth at least he looks cooler with the baseball to the eye than the guy to his right who kind of looks like he just got his privates tickled by a slimy octopus, eh?

Also, look on the bright side; that evil lady behind him now has a really awesome facebook profile picture.

H/T Sportress of Blogitude