Morning Links posts encourage fellowship amongst bloggers. If you are linked here, we would appreciate you checking out our material and linking back if possible, to spread the wealth and promote synergy throughout the blogosphere. The easiest way to alienate the entire Internet is to use the words “blogosphere” and “synergy” in the same sentence.

Also, a few style notes about the site. One, we’re getting rid of the old logo and changing it to a picture of Hulk Hogan body slamming somebody. Two, Burnsy has been fired and replaced by a machine that produces less high-quality galleries per day, but likes basketball less. Three, I’m looking for a new bio blurb to put in the upper righthand corner of the page, and I’m leaning toward the word “otters.” Just the word otters.

Sports

Interleague Play And How It Ruined Baseball Forever - Baseball is like the human body. Anything that comes into contact with it tries to kill it. You can’t eat or breathe or do anything without it shortening your lifespan. Baseball can’t employ anyone or do anything without repeatedly punching itself inthe eye. [Baseball Nation]

Joakim Noah Yells Gay Slur At Fan, Apologizes - The theme for the next five years of basketball news is “basketball player is gay or hates gays.” That whole league is going to end in a self-hating orgy. [Smoking Section]

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Most of the time The Dugout is intended as comedy, but now that I’m in charge of With Leather I am extremely interested in turning The Dugout into a marketable brand. That means an emphasis on new media, a reworking of the strip’s basic content, and the integration of serious, analytical game recaps. What you’re about to read is the first of those, wherein I forget the comedy and just recap what happened in the 9th inning of Tuesday’s game at Progressive Field.

This is simply copy and pasted from last night’s live blog, so if you missed it, here’s your chance to relive an essentially meaningless mid-May match-up between a team who is probably not going to be this good at the end of the season and the CLEVELAND INDIANS. Today’s play-by-play blog follows.

Note: A special thanks goes out to Pat of Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke? for winning my “give Kelly Shoppach a screen name that hopefully isn’t about shopping” Twitter contest.

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It's Tribe Time Now (in 1989)

After missing two consecutive Mondays due to an extended hospital stay, I’ve returned to cover the only thing more boring than potassium pills and intestinal blockage: Major League Baseball! Things happen over the weekend, and I’m here to bundle up the important stories and sort of pool the one-to-zero comments we’d get per baseball article into one mega gallery with six-to-zero comments.

The Indians are Still in First Place

They’ve lost three straight and had a game postponed, but we’re 21 games into the season and the Cleveland Indians are still sitting atop the AL Central. I refuse to believe this is an April streak anomaly, and will continue to explain how this is simply the coming-together of young, blossoming talent and healed up veterans looking to recapture the spotlight. It’s about guts, people, and I’m positive the 141 or so more games in the season will prove me right. Who cares if our most marketable star is named “Jeanmar?” Who cares if Fausto Carmona finishes the season 1-22? The Indians are winning the World Series, and I don’t care if me and manager Lou Brown are the only ones who believe it.

The Tribe heads back home on Tuesday to start a three game series against Upstart Nobody Flukes the Kansas City Royals. Monster ace and carnival showman Jeanmar Gomez gets his next start on Saturday against something called the “Detroit Tigers.”

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In the best use of the world “humble” since the Iron Sheik used it to suggest disciplinary anal sex via camel clutch, Boston Red Sox manager Terry Francona described baseball as a humbler after the Sox lost their fifth straight game to open the season. The winners? The Cleveland Indians, 8-4. Cleveland is fast becoming known as the city where a loss means you’re hilarious, and nothing is quite as funny as watching David Ortiz sort of lingering at home plate, not sure if he’s popping out or descending into madness.

“This game will humble you in a hurry and it’s doing that to us right now,” said manager Terry Francona. “We’ve got to start acting like a good team. We’ve got to find a way to win a game.”

This is Boston’s worst start since 1996, and now they’re headed back to Fenway to take on the Yankees. I’m proud to say that the Indians are one game over .500, and who cares that it’s only five games into the year? I’m pretty sure nobody picked The Tribe™ to win three games. When Asdrubal Cabrera is hitting home runs, you know the planets have aligned. Massive earthquakes, terrible storms, Asdrubal Cabrera getting a ball over the fence.

On pace for an 0-162 season (I know, I just like saying it), catcher Jason Varitek offered supportive, Lady Gaga-like words of encouragement.

“This team is a lot better than this … and it will be better.”

Update: No it won’t! Today’s game is over, and the Sox have fallen to 0-6 thanks to, guess who, Asdrubal Cabrera.

Ohio is one of several states that enacted Defense Of Marriage legislation, but that didn’t stop a couple of wily gents from getting in a kiss during a field report amidst a regional broadcast of a Cleveland Indians home game. The pair, whom I’m affectionately referring to hereafter as “Gay and Silent Bob,” snuck in a quick peck, and one could bet that the guys in the production truck flipped out and cut away before the full-on first base line orgy started up. Because it’s impossible to be gay without being all up in your face about it. People in television know this.

Watch the video after the jump (because I know you’re just dying to do so) and prepare to be disappointed. Seriously boys: that’s it? That’s all the PDA you have for us? It’s not like y’all are at a monster truck rally. It’s an Indians game. You two are 15 percent of all the people that decided to show up, so enjoy it. Some gays you turned out to be. The ushers probably showed up to throw you guys out and said, “Eh, that was nothing.” You guys probably don’t even have any interior design tips, either. My whole worldview has just been shattered. Read the rest of this entry »