Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the return of the Wednesday Dunk Battle, the Internet’s only democratic, scientific determination of slam dunk effectiveness in relation to its peers!

If you’ve never participated in a Wednesday Dunk Battle, now’s the time to start. All you have to do is watch four slam dunk videos (the best kind of videos, fact) and decide which dunk is the most slam-dunkingest in the included poll. The winner will receive two prizes: (1) great admiration from the readership of a comedy sports blog, (2) a continued life of being a millionaire.

This week’s dunks are:

1. Kevin Durant dunking on the Los Angeles Clippers so hard their families felt it
2. Last Thursday’s LeBron James effort that made Kobe Bryant’s face do this emoticon – :O
3. Damian Lillard turning Nene from the Washington Wizards into Nene from the Real Housewives
4. Alonzo Gee making Kevin Garnett something something Honey Nut Cheerios

Please watch each clip carefully, then vote!

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Earlier this month, Shane Battier of the Miami Heat uploaded a video of himself dressed like a ship’s captain, singing the theme to ‘The Love Boat.’ It was the worst THE BEST, advertised his second annual “South Beach Battioke” celebrity karaoke event, and allowed me to make a joke about LeBron James singing Pretty Ricky. As it turns out … I wasn’t that far off.

Behold, South Beach Battioke 2 (RETALIATION~) featuring LeBron James and Dwyane Wade serenading a “lucky fan” with the Gabrielle/East 17 classic ‘If You Ever.’ The clip starts kicking your ass right away with LeBron’s hip-gyrating take on Michael Jackson’s ‘Rock With You,’ then moves right into the LBJ/Wade ‘The Boy Is Mine’-style seduction.

I do not see anybody singing TV theme songs, but the clip is only 7 minutes long, so I’ll assume Mike Miller spent the next hour rocking out to The Rembrandts.

[h/t to Cosby Sweaters]

In one of the better “Boys will be boys” stories of this early sports year, New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony reportedly took offense to something that Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett said to him during Boston’s 102-96 victory on Monday night. According to various websites, Garnett supposedly told Anthony that his wife and decision-maker, La La Vasquez-Anthony, “tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios”. Honestly, I don’t really know how that’s an insult, because it mostly just reminds me of Patrice O’Neal’s birthday cake joke (watch “Elephant in the Room” if you’re unfamiliar).

Now, if I had to guess, Garnett has never had sex with Anthony’s wife. Maybe he has, and therefore is qualified to make such a statement, but this is probably just an example of what the kids call “trash talk”. However, some people believe that this sort of trash talk crosses a line, including Anthony, who waited for Garnett by the Celtics team bus so they could settle this like men. After all, you can take the millionaire professional athlete out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take the Brooklyn out of the corporate product spokesperson.

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With Leather has never been an overwhelmingly pro-Miami Heat type of site. We’ll write “congrats to the heat on that thing they won” in passing in our morning links, but post 30 paragraphs about their fans are d-bags.

Occasionally they’ll do something positive for the community and we’ll write it up. That’s the case with today’s Heat update, and I will ease into the blockquote without mentioning how I’m only sharing it because Shane Battier is doing a karaoke version of the theme to the f**king ‘Love Boat.’

Join Shane Battier for the second annual “South Beach Battioke” celebrity karaoke event on Monday, January 21, 2013, at the Eden Roc Renaissance Hotel in Miami Beach, to benefit The Battier Take Charge Foundation.

Man, listen to that. It’s glorious. It’s the exact opposite of Mario Chalmers trying to rap.

Tickets to the event are $250, so if you’ve been saving a quarter of a thousand dollars to see LeBron James put on a wig and mug his way through a Pretty Ricky track, this may be your chance. Worst case scenario, you’ll get to find out whether or not Battier knows the lyrics to ‘Love, American Style.’

[h/t to Ball Don't Lie]

Last night, while Dwyane Wade was kicking Ramon Sessions in the balls on purpose and then acting all offended that someone could even insinuate that he’d ever commit a dirty foul, LeBron James was distracted by the Charlotte Bobcats’ No. 1 fan (I assume) and former WWE and WCW champion Ric Flair. It turns out that Flair was sitting courtside as the Bobcats lost their 16th consecutive game with a 105-92 ball-stomping by the Miami Heat.

Apparently James was a huge wrasslin’ fan as a child, and the Nature Boy had quite the impact on his, specifically in that Flair possibly invented the baller lifestyle.

“When I was a kid, I loved wrestling,” James told the Associated Press. “He was one of the guys I loved, too. I think he’s one of the creators of what we call swag these days with the Rolexes and the stretch limos and all the girls and all that stuff. He’s one of the creators of swag.” (Via CBS Philly)

In case you’re wondering, the other creators of swag include Richard Nixon, Phyllis Diller and my dad, because he can totally beat up your dad.

But before we slide a little further into love with James, let’s just remember that he’s been on a non-stop PR tour ever since the Heat won the NBA title. He wants the common man and average American to love him, so of course he’s trying to relate to our love of cheap cell phone plans, colorful shoes and one of the most entertaining wrestlers of all-time.

You see, it starts with Ric Flair and then soon he’s like, “Hey, you know what was an awesome TV show? Perfect Strangers.” And you’re like, “Yeah, that was a good show, let’s do the Dance of Joy.” And then he hesitates while one of his boys drugs your drink and you wake up in a dumpster. Fool me once, LeBron. Fool me once.

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Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Kate Upton.

It is not an easy task to put together a list, such as the Greatest Sports Moments of 2012, specifically because so many things happen in any given year that it’s all but impossible to universally gauge which one event or person is greater than another. But since we’re just a couple dudes who like to make fun of stuff and almost always ignore actual sports news, it’s really quite easy.

With that said, here’s a quick breakdown of how our team of fact checkers and sports analyst number crunchers determine which people, places and things were the most important and influential in 2012…

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