It’s Friday, which means we’re all tired and ready to go home. It also means that we’re more open to ridiculing people similar to ourselves (sports fans) who have made horrible life decisions, because what’s wrong with you, we’re just trying to lay low and go home.

I’ve been trying to figure out which of these is worse — the guy who got the Miami Heat logo and the word “LeBron” shaved into his head, or the guy who got a Pittsburgh Steelers Terrible Towel” tattoo on his shoulder. You know, so it looks like he’s got a towel on his shoulder. FOREVER.

Let’s compare and contrast them:

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Last week’s Wednesday Dunk Battle was one of the most hotly contested ever, pitting LeBron James and Blake Griffin (the two most prolific Wednesday Dunk Battlers of the season) against a sea otter and a guy who dunked through fire. The sea otter murdered them. But still, the idea is that the Wednesday Dunk Battle is HEATING UP, and this week we see who dares follow in Eddie the Sea Otter’s footsteps. Yes, LeBron James is in this one, too. Yes, I tried to see how many times I could write “Wednesday Dunk Battle” in one paragraph.

This week’s dunks:

1. Past-his-prime Kobe Bryant goes FULL PRIME on Josh Smith.
2. LeBron James runs a slant route en route to his one millionth alley-oop from Dwyane Wade.
3. Baylor’s Brittney Griner dunks on what might as well be everyone from Kansas State.
4. Louisville’s Chane Behanan uses the anger he’s felt trying to spell “Shane Bohannon” in his lifetime and brutally dunks over DePaul guard Worrel Clahar, who has NO IDEA what to spell.

You make the call. Please remember that your science is appreciated, and that voting in the poll below officially makes you a scientist. OF BASKETBALL DUNKS.

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By the time 2013 wraps up and is in the books , the award for Biggest Villain will probably be locked up by one of three people – Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump or whoever created the Harlem Shake fad. I don’t mean the song, mind you. I mean this recent meme of people dancing like A-holes to the song “Harlem Shake”, as it has been quite the decisive topic among people with too much time on their hands.

Some people, including approximately 80% of my idiot Facebook friends, think these Harlem Shake videos are hilarious. Others treat them like utter blasphemy, based on the fact that the people in the videos aren’t actually performing the Harlem Shake. But then there’s a third party, including indifferent people like me, who don’t really give a crap, and would prefer to watch goats scream during the choruses of popular songs above all else.

Yet here we are, discussing this Miami Heat Harlem Shake video that started popping up on the webs and bloggy blogs last night. And I’m not bringing it up, because I hate it or love it. I have a completely different reason for bringing this up.

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This week, the Wednesday Dunk Battle goes high concept — what, scientifically speaking, constitutes the “best slam dunk?” Does it lessen the dunk’s greatness if it’s performed in practice? What if it involves a pillar of fire and a trampoline? What if you aren’t a human being and can dunk? How do they relate to one another?

Your job, as a loyal With Leather reader, is to view the following dunks and help decide which slam dunk slammed most dunkingly. It’s important that you participate and vote in the poll at the bottom, for without you, we may never know the perfect dunk equation.

This week’s dunks:

1. The Los Angeles Clippers block/pass/dunk machine leads to a massive left-handed effort from Blake Griffin.
2. LeBron James continues to nerf the entire 2013 Slam Dunk Contest by going between his legs in practice.
3. Kenneth Faried goes up Dwight Howard’s helpless back to catch an alley-oop.
4. A ridiculous man’s fire dunk, as seen yesterday on With Leather
5. Eddie the sea otter throws it down, as seen in Danger’s post from last Wednesday

Please view, and vote in the poll.

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While most NBA fans are probably glued to Chris Broussard’s Twitter account to check out his breaking NBA trade deadline news that Yahoo!’s Adrian Wojnarowski already broke 5 minutes earlier, some people are still trying to get to the bottom of the season’s biggest controversy – Lil Wayne’s beef with the Miami Heat.

In case you forgot, Weezy claimed that he was removed from a recent Heat game because he was cheering for his favorite team, the Los Angeles Lakers. That’s his story – he was simply cheering for the Lakers in the Heat’s arena and the police made him leave for that. Just that. Not because he also allegedly threatened another fan by motioning that he had a gun. Simply because he was cheering for the Lakers.

Since then, the Heat revealed that Wayne left on his own accord, but the rapper still insisted that he’d been banned by the NBA from all league events, which led some conspiracy theorists to believe that noted Illuminati front man and Brooklyn Nets minority owner Jay Z was behind it all. The NBA – where rappers being bigger news than players happens.

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Because we know our readers, I’m posting some last second Valentine’s Day ideas for our bros so they don’t end up getting dumped by their stripper girlfriends and catfish today. For starters, take your babe to Hooters for that awesome deal above, because nothing says, “I love you, girl” like staring at a college girl’s fake breasts while pretending to care about your girlfriend’s smelly co-worker with the “hips that couldn’t fit through the St. Louis Arch”.

Additionally, you can read her one of these beautiful love poems that me and some much more notable comedians wrote. However, if you choose to combine these two ideas, not even a condom wrapped in a diaphragm can stop all of the babies that you’re going to make tonight. So tread lightly.

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