In the picture below, you’ll see someone’s head about an inch from LeBron James’ ass as he soars through the air for a game-winning lay-up in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. That’s Paul George of the Indiana Pacers. He had his ankles broken, his legs, both of his arms and most of his neck. It’s not even fair.

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Links

Bill Murray Knows How To Respond To Crying Babies |UPROXX|

Mitch Hurwitz Doesn’t Want You To Binge-Watch ‘Arrested Development’ |Warming Glow|

What’s The Deal With The Fast & Furious Movies: An Explainer |Film Drunk|

Dear Lord, Let’s Watch The Memphis Grizzlies Miss 7 Lay-Ups In A Row |With Leather|

This Four-Year-Old Girl Is The Cutest Marvel Comics Expert |Gamma Squad|

This Is How The Top 5 Picks In The 2013 NBA Draft Should Go |Smoking Section|

NFL Analyst Power Rankings (Official) #5- Pete Prisco |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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"Hey guys, let's make a pack to stay best friends forever."

This is a few days (and years, if you’re a stickler for details) old, but the folks over at LeBronJames.com posted some scanned images of LeBron James’ stat sheets from his high school seasons, and without a single ounce of shock in the entire world, they reveal that he was a man among boys. The self-anointed King and four-time NBA MVP averaged 18.1 points per game in his freshman season at St. Vincent-St. Mary, and it only got better from there, as he averaged 30.4 ppg by his senior season.

James also recently took a break from steamrolling the NBA Playoffs to donate $1 million to his old high school to renovate the gym that helped make him a household name when he wasn’t even old enough to vote. Hopefully, some of that money includes a giant throne for when he returns to view games. It should have a glass case around it like the Popemobile for good measure, since some people in Ohio are still emotionally unsure of how to feel about James, lingering somewhere between, “TRAITOR! I HOPE YOU’RE EATEN BY BEARS!” and “Maybe he’ll opt out in Miami and come back to Cleveland!”

Either way, his old stats should make even the most confident high school athletes feel like they were in the cast of Freaks and Geeks.

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If you’re happy to see the Miami Heat lose game 1 of their East semis series against the Chicago Bulls, perhaps you’ll like to see the Heat portrayed as rusty Terminators while the Bulls mascot puts out the Miami logo fire by pissing on it. Taiwan Animation, everybody. Stick around for LeBron James drawn like Pitbull.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

A Brief History Of Zooey Deschanel’s Musical Moments |UPROXX|

Bradley Cooper’s Häagen-Dazs Commercial Is Totally About Butts |Warming Glow|

A FilmDrunkard’s Encounter with Gary Busey |Film Drunk|

Conan’s Terrible Kentucky Derby Horse Names, Featuring Disturbing German Pornography |With Leather|

Pictures Of Emma Stone From The ‘Amazing Spider-Man 2′ Set May Drop A Huge Spoiler |Gamma Squad|

5 Things in ‘Bioshock Infinite’ You Might’ve Missed |Smoking Section|

REMINDER: Peter King Was Worse Than Everyone At Predicting The Draft |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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One of the strangers encounters that I’ve ever had with a sh*t-talking sports fan came after the Miami Heat defeated the Orlando Magic last season, and a gentleman in a Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James jersey and Heat hat was shouting to the Amway Center crowd, “That’s how he do it! That’s how he do it!” And I didn’t need to ask him why he was wearing one team’s jersey and another’s hat, because as I have become a big NBA fan in recent years, I have ultimately learned that, unlike other professional sports leagues, the NBA is a place where fans hitching their trailers to the superstars instead of teams happens.

And yesterday, as if it was the plot of a new Alien movie written and directed by social media managers, we watched the fanboy monsters and the equally terrifying outraged Twitter activists mate and give birth to a brand new breed of worthless, misdirected Internet fury. All because LeBron James wasn’t unanimously voted the NBA’s MVP for the 2012-13 season.

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Even after my team locked up the worst record in the NBA, I’m trying hard to enjoy the NBA Playoffs because I think what LeBron James and the Miami Heat are doing this season, despite being what we’ve expected them to do from day one, is legendary stuff, and I think that the West is going to provide us with some exciting basketball all the way through Game 7 of the Conference Finals, before the eventual winner has to play the Heat in the NBA Finals.

Two things, though, are annoying the bejesus out of me. One, as always, is the completely idiotic scheduling that gives teams two days off between certain games, and is the reason why BASEketball gave us that hilarious scene about drawn out playoffs. The other, though, can only be explained with a Seinfeld reference. You know how Kramer practically has a seizure every time he hears Mary Hart’s voice? Well, that’s me with will.i.am.

Except instead of a seizure, I get really punchy. Case in point, ESPN’s “That Power” NBA Playoffs commercial, starring will.I.am and players from all of the playoff teams except for the ones that ESPN and the NBA don’t care about.

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The world outside is scary right now, so I suggest we spend this entire Friday reliving the happier moments of this year, like the time DeAndre Jordan baptized Brandon Knight against his will and that other time when Blake Griffin dunked all stupid when he didn’t have to.

The NBA playoffs start tomorrow, so the NBA’s YouTube channel posted their picks for the top 10 dunks of the year. A lot of these have appeared in the Wednesday Dunk Battle, so it’s a pleasant trip down a brutal memory lane. Remember when LeBron James made Jason Terry feel like a useless asshole? Remember when Kobe remembered how good he can be and dunked on the entire Brooklyn Nets line-up? Good times.

The NBA’s top 10 is after the jump, followed by the ACTUAL best dunk of the year.

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