I’m embarrassed it’s taken this long for me to get these photos up on this sex-driven site, but here they are: Maria Sharapova, in leather — you bite your fucking tongue, Berman! — strutting her stuff at the 15th annual ESPY sporting awards in Los Angeles this past week.
Did you know that Sharapova is like, 6’4”, 6’5” in heels? I had no idea she was that freaking tall. And now I’m gonna have to tell her that she can’t be seen in public with me anymore. Yeah, it sucks. But I don't want to be seen with a freak, you know? Ugh. It gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
Um, what else? What else can I possibly ramble on about to make this post look a little longer? Hmmm…
Oh, you didn’t know that’s what I was doing? Well, I am. In fact, I’m actually under strict directions from Ufford to always make sure the text stretches to at least the bottom of the photo. Especially when I incude a photo gallery. He was really mean about it, too. He said that if I ever fucked up and didn't follow his style guide, he was going to come up to Canada and rape my— Oh! Looks like I made it! Phew. -Skeetsies
(Thanks to Lloyd_Carr_Pool_Lane for the tip and avatar.)