What started as a way for guys to gawk at the seemingly endless supply of large-breasted women at the University of Kansas – you know, all in the name of supporting the men’s basketball team – ended up becoming a nationwide fad with copycats and clones popping up left and right. The Twitter account @KUBoobs became an overnight sensation earlier this year after it became the go-to source for really stretched out Jayhawks shirts. Also, because BEWBZ RULZ!

Soon after, there were Kentucky Boobs, Yale Boobs, DeVry Boobs and Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale Boobs (for which you had to draw a turtle and pirate to have published) and college sports was alive with the sound of dads crying. Alas, we all knew way back in the dark corners of our minds that this couldn’t last, and on Monday the folks responsible for KU Boobs received a cease and desist from the University of Kansas.

Cut off the head, lawyers, and the rest of the boobs will die.

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World-renowned poker star Phil Ivey spent a few nights at the Mayfair casino Crockfords in London last October, and normally that wouldn’t be news, because he’s a pro poker player and all, but the 37-year old caused quite the buzz when he won about $12 million playing the baccarat game Punto Banco. Now, I don’t understand any card games that aren’t called war or assh*le, so forgive me if I gloss over the rules to this specific game* and get right to the bangers and mash – the casino bosses refused to pay out because they accused Ivey of cheating. Naturally, he’s suing them.

So how on Earth do you cheat at a game that involves nothing but pure luck? Easy. You use the exclusive, illegal knowledge that the decks of cards had been improperly cut and you examine each card’s back from a distance to determine the card’s value and wager accordingly. I know, right? How the hell haven’t we all been doing this for years?

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It looks like the incredibly drawn out and ridiculously expensive divorce hearing between Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian is finally coming to an end. K-Hump and the Devil’s Baby Bump could settle as early as today – with TMZ leaking that it has already been settled, pending an announcement in court – avoiding their trial that was set to begin on May 6 and would cost California taxpayers even more money than it already has. To date, both jilted lovers have spent north of $300,000 in lawyer fees, because they’re both clearly idiots.

But because Humphries may have done irreparable damage to his own case last week by failing to appear at a mandatory mediation session, the end could be nigh. Just in time for Humphries to watch the Brooklyn Nets take on the Chicago Bulls in the first round of the NBA playoffs from that comfy seat that he earned on the bench.

Like most good divorces, though, this one comes down to money.

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With Day 1 of the 6,456 day baseball season approaching quickly, young players are busting their asses to try to make opening day rosters, while the savvy veterans are trying just hard enough to make sure they don’t split their pants on routine fly balls. But something that we don’t hear a lot about in the MLB preseason is how the owners prepare, so I thought I’d take this chance to check in with everyone’s favorite owner, Jeffrey Loria, to see how he’s getting ready for the 2013 season.

Loria’s Miami Marlins already had a pretty tumultuous offseason, as he traded the team’s highest paid players after just one season in the brand new stadium, which he built with taxpayer money after promising to sign high-priced talent. That led to fans demanded that Loria sell the team, which he won’t do, and he tried to quell the turbulent waters of hatred by promising the team’s most loyal fans that everything would be okay.

Translated: The Marlins are suing two longtime season ticket holders.

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If you’re just waking up from a 30-day coma, here’s a brief recap of what you’ve missed in Hulk Hogan’s life – Gawker posted a clip from a sex tape involving Hulk Hogan and an unknown woman, people speculated that the woman may have been Heather Clem (wife of his former best friend Bubba the Love Sponge), Clem responded like, “Stop, this is ruining my life, but yeah that’s totally me”, Hogan became furious and shooks his fists while vowing to sue everyone responsible, Sponge swore that he didn’t release the tape to Gawker but then settled with Hogan in private, and Hogan sued Gawker for $100 million because the site still hasn’t taken the video down.

I think that about sums it up. Oh, and then there’s the news that a judge told Hogan yesterday that the video can indeed remain online, because WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, when you can’t prove that Gawker didn’t have the right to post the tape when it did?

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When you’re as awesomely famous as Hulk Hogan, you can’t go anywhere without a camera being pointed in your direction, as evidenced by the fight that broke out at his 2010 “private” wedding ceremony because of a photographer and that whole sex tape thing that just recently popped up. Well, despite Hogan being hard up for income since his ex-wife Linda took all of his money so she could grease up teenagers on a giant pile of cash, he still swears he had nothing to do with the leak of a two-minute clip of him sexing up Heather Clem.

Clem, of course, if the ex-wife of Hogan’s former best friend Bubba the Love Sponge, who seems like he’d love to be friends with Guy Fieri and the lead singer of Smash Mouth. In response to Gawker’s breakdown of the video, Hogan filed lawsuits against Mr. Love Sponge and Clem, as well as a $100 million doozie against Gawker. As of today, Hogan has pinned one of those enemies, and must now pin the other two to face Yokozuna at SummerSlam.

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