Laurence Maroney is known for several things in the choppy high seas of blogs: the nickname "Kool-Aid," his potent supply of construda and therefore being the only member of the New England Patriots not entirely deserving of your contempt.

Rather than pushing construda to kids like he should be, Maroney and Reebok have decided to trade upon that first item, with a line of Kool-Aid influenced sneaks, shirts and caps. OOOOHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHHH

The first installment will launch on February 1st in three great flavors: Grape, Cherry and Strawberry, each complete with hoodies, T-shirts, hats and sneakers. Plus, Reebok packed each of the kicks with extra flavor by crating scent-infused sockliners! 

Pfft? Grape? I call bullshit. Nobody drinks "grape." It's purple drank! -Christmas Ape

The gentlemen at Kissing Suzy Kolber dug up Patriots running back Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney's Facebook page, and you must look at the post immediately, if not sooner.  Yes, his nickname is Koolaid.  And yes, he is wearing a gold chain with the Kool-Aid man on it.  Even better, Koolaid offers us these nuggets of wisdom in his Favorite Quotes section:

• “wash u ass”
• “bout time we got some construda in dis mothafucka”
• “u begul shitting”
• “Your ass backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they come with the shit.”

Seriously, how many parties have you been to where you're just like, "Yo, where the hell is the construda?  Did no one bring construda?!"  And then someone shows up with the construda, and you're all, "Finally!"  I totally feel him on that.  At least I think I do.  I'm not really sure what construda is, so I just assumed it's strippers.

More pictures over at KSK, by the way.  Lots of gold teeth, and a little bit of man love.  No photos of your beagle, though, which Koolaid claims is shitting.