He looks photoshopped in, doesn’t he?

Metta World Peace née Ron Artest took off to Nevada over the weekend to host a night at the Chateau Nightclub & Gardens at the Paris Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip, and like a lot of Vegas tourists he decided to take in a show. That show happened to be Celine, Celine Dion’s residency performance at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace. Most people who go to that will tweet “went to see Celina Dion in Vegas, liked the show” or “went to see Celina Dion in Vegas, did not like the show” (that one would be me), but not Artest. Here’s the Spark Notes version of what went down:

1. Ron Artest is Ron Artest
2. Ron Artest decides to go see Celine Dion in concert
3. Celine Dion changes Ron Artest’s life
4. Ron Artest gets frustrated that his Twitter followers don’t know who Celine Dion is and think he’s joking
5. Ron Artest has an existential crisis, considers the idea that he might be dumb and is driven to improve himself
6. Ron Artest gets in over his head

The last two days of @RonArtest are succinctly chronicled here for your observation and amusement, and because somebody needed to make a permanent record of this. Please click through to enjoy.

Read the rest of this entry »

On the next episode of Entourage...

A few weeks ago, I made fun of Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh because he had such a typical and unoriginal bachelor party for a guy who is the highest paid player on a team that features LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Bosh, of course, took some friends to Las Vegas, just like your best friend, old college frat buddy, and 90% of male Americans. So what did New Jersey Nets forward and future Mr. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries do for his bachelor party? He went to Las Vegas with all of his friends and teammates.

Just kidding, he was with the other male Kardashian accessories, Lamar Odom, Rob Kardashian and Scott Disdik, who has never made a facial expression in his life. So what was Kim up to? She was partying with her girls. Then they ruined Humphries’ life fun.

Later, Kim crashed her fiance’s stag party at Lavo in Vegas around 2 a.m., where the 6 ft 9 inch power forward partied with Kim’s brother Rob, Khloe’s husband, Lamar Odom, and a gaggle of NBA stars.

Of course, it was all filmed for an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians on E! Entertainment TV. So check your local listings! (Via Sandra Rose)

Haha, you bet I will!

As for that “gaggle” of NBA stars, I’ve looked and looked but I can’t find another name other than Odom. People says that he was with “several NBA players” but your guess is as good as mine. Then again, it’s not like Humphries is exactly Mr. Popular so I shouldn’t be surprised that Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard and Blake Griffin were no-shows.

Read the rest of this entry »

Over the weekend, Miami Heat forward Chris Bosh had his bachelor party in Las Vegas, and he and his friends dubbed it, “The Hangover 3”. Get it? Like the movies. You know, the two movies about the group of friends who get drugged and have an outlandish adventure only to have to piece it back together the next day to find their missing friend? Just like that. Except nothing like that at all.

According to the New York Post, Bosh and friends started the weekend off at a shooting range to blow off steam, and then followed it up with a Criss Angel magic show at which Bosh was used in one trick (the levitating ostrich?), a pool party at Tao, gambling, a paintball game, and a Mark Curry comedy show. Someone get me a new pair of pants because I couldn’t even handle writing about all that fun.

So why are we hearing about it just now?

Notably absent were Bosh’s teammates LeBron James and Dwyane Wade.

OK, let’s start with reality…

Read the rest of this entry »

Michael Phelps was in Las Vegas over the weekend to serve as the celebrity face for the launch of the 2011 Encore Beach Club season. If that means as little to you as it does to me, it means that he got paid to swim around in a pool full of half-naked, father-hating girls. Phelps even played DJ for a bit, which automatically makes him as cool as Danny Masterson.

But this sort of behavior can only be detrimental to his public image, right Daily Mail?

In 2009 Phelps shattered his good boy image when he was pictured using a bong.

He admitted to ‘behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgement’ but his was not prosecuted in connection with the incident because there was insufficient evidence.

USA Swimming suspended Phelps from competing for three months and his endorsement contract with Kellogg’s was not renewed.

Oh yeah, that whole bong picture thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – any man or woman who wins 14 gold medals at the Olympics should have free reign to behave however he or she pleases. If Phelps wants to roll down Sunset Boulevard in Gravedigger with a Roman candle shoved between his butt cheeks while he throws gasoline at homeless people, then I’m all for it. In fact, we should be required to sing “God Bless America” while he does.

Just when I thought my day was going to be filled with stress and anxiety, wondering if my Albert Pujols jerseys will have any meaning other than “grandpa’s pee rag” after this season, some good news has risen from the depths of the competition world – there’s a new national grocery bagging champion. Krystal Smith, a 24-year old Vermont resident, bested a field of 24 other grocery grabbers from around the country to become the 2011 National Best Bagger in Las Vegas on Monday.

That’s not to be confused with the National Best ‘Bag, which is still Jay Cutler. Tell us how you kept my bread from getting smashed, Krystal…

“I went in pretty confident,” Smith said. “I stayed cool, calm, and kept my head clear and went with it… I was the fastest of all the national competitors… I was like, I can’t believe this is happening, but I stayed confident and brought my A game to the table.” (Via WCAX Vermont)*

Krystal is the first person from Vermont to ever win the title, which makes it even sweeter that she won on the 25th anniversary of the event. For her efforts she received $10,000, an all-expense paid trip to New York to experience big city life and make an appearance on Late Show with David Letterman tonight, and the title of Greatest Person to Ever Live in Vermont, previously held by nobody.

Video of the event’s highlights after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

On Tuesday, it was announced that Annie Duke and Jeffrey Pollack have created Federated Sports and Gaming, and, in cooperation with the Palms Casino Resort, a brand new poker league that will employ a special rankings system to determine the best players in the world, instead of, you know, guys bragging that they’re the best in the world.

The league will also hold players accountable for their success by awarding memberships much like PGA tour cards. Players can earn 2-, 3- or 5-year memberships based on their winnings, but obviously there will be exceptions for legends. Basically, the biggest name players will receive lifetime memberships. In all, 200 players will compete in four FSG tournaments during the year, with the fourth serving as the league’s championship.

Poker News recently posted an extensive interview with Duke about how the league was created and what the events will entail. For instance, what goes into the player rankings, Der Kommissar Duke?

Read the rest of this entry »