Traditional pictures of Adam and Eve have too many boobies and wee wees.

As we discussed last week when news of Chyna being hammered surprised no one, the AVN Awards took place two weeks ago in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel. Well it turns out that the sins of the adult film industry had some company that weekend, as Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow was also staying at the Hard Rock. Coincidence? OR SATAN???

Actually, it was a coincidence, because he was there for a Nike photo shoot. But the Tebow news does not stop there. In the Feb. 6 edition of The National Enquirer, a “report” claims that Tebow was the target of none other than Kim Kardashian as her next athlete boyfriend. Citing her need to repair her image after she gave a colossal middle finger to poor people and marriage, the Kardashian machine apparently believes that Tebow would be her best bet.

Thank God he’s not a moron.

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I thought he was just a cereal box model, but apparently Jeff Gordon is a champion race car driver and B-Boy.

The breaking of dance occurred during the NASCAR “After the Lap” event in Las Vegas, a championship banquet referred to by the Las Vegas Sun as a “press conference on steroids” that plays out like the last 30 minutes of any Blue Collar Comedy Tour stop, right down having Bill Engvall sit there squinting and laughing while people around him try to be entertaining. The skinny (and white) from SB Nation:

Gordon said he started break-dancing in middle school because that’s what all the cool kids did. In fact, the four-time NASCAR champ said he’d sneak into the bathroom and break-dance every morning before school, because they weren’t allowed to dance in the hallways.

You can check out video of the hip-hoppery after the jump, but be aware that at no point during the clip does he accidentally kick Bill Engvall in the face.

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As always, if you’re not following Jose Canseco on Twitter, you are missing out on treat after misspelled treat, including random emotional outbursts, sad claims that he could still produce at the Major League level, and requests for lawyers to help him get his chandeliers back. If you do follow Jose, then you know that this past summer was an emotional rollercoaster for him, as he went through some tough times with his girlfriend and model, Leila Shennib. Here’s a quick recap:

• The couple broke up in July, prompting Canseco to issue a series of Tweets accusing Shennib of using him for fame, most likely to get her own reality show. He called her a “man eater” as he warned other stars that she might get her claws on. It should also be pointed out that nobody on this planet would watch a show about Canseco’s ex-girlfriends.
• Leila eventually responded by getting a restraining order against Canseco, prompting him to ask how someone could demand court-mandated distance from someone she claims to love.
• Why can’t you just love him back, Leila? He’s pouring his heart out to you!
• And because he can admit that he was wrong, the lovebirds have been reunited. It’s truly a story meant for Hollywood.

Last night, Canseco used his Twitter fame – that has only been boosted by his new job signing autographs at a Las Vegas store 6 days a week – to ask people to vote for Leila to be the next Miss Poker Centerfold, which I believe is a step or two below Miss Universe while slightly above “girl who shows her breasts for free 3 Doors Down tickets.” So go vote for Leila and help this crazy couple’s dreams come true. You know, before they break up again and he ends up in jail.

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I think the best part of Kim Kardashian filing for divorce from Kris Humphries is that we’re pretty much done ever having to mention Humphries again. I wish I could say that about Kardashian, but I’m almost ready to bet my house that she shows up at a Miami Dolphins game within the next few weeks. Humphries, though, just needs to fill out some paperwork and sign on the dotted line to secure his status as an afterthought.

That’s what makes the above image so sad. Humphries was set to host a party at the Chateau Nightclub in Las Vegas this Saturday and I’m sure it would have been huge. After all, who wouldn’t want to go party with the husband of a girl who made a sex tape? Then the divorce happened, Chateau canceled the gig (Humphries said he canceled it because he’s sad, but come on) and now Humphries will probably head back to his family in Minnesota and try to work on his career-best 10 points per game with the hopes that the new CBA doesn’t cripple mid level contracts.

As for Vegas, in the 18 to 35 years I’ve been alive, I’ve never been there. I’d love to go do some gambling and throw up on someone, but it’s sh*t like this that keeps me away. I don’t want to go to a city where Humphries is treated like a star. He wasn’t even a star in Newark, NJ so why the hell should I treat him like one in Vegas? I’d rather see Carrot Top open for Criss Angel.

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We’ve written about the Lingerie Football League a lot on With Leather lately, from their condescending video titles on YouTube to their 4Chan-friendly plans for pee-wee lingerie football, but the latest bit of news from the worldwide leader in mic’d panty shields may be the worst of all — Lingerie Football is offering one “lucky” fan a chance to hit their favorite LFL player during halftime at the Lingerie Bowl IX.

Yes, there’s a Lingerie Bowl. Yes, there have been nine of them.

Here’s your chance to score with the LFL! We’re giving one lucky fan the opportunity to experience what true fantasy football really is with a chance to tackle an LFL team player during halftime at Lingerie Bowl IX in Las Vegas! Enter now for your chance to win a VIP trip for you and a friend to Las Vegas and see if you can take down an LFL Player.

Prizing Includes:

• Roundtrip airfare for 2 to Las Vegas, NV
• 2 night hotel accommodations at the Palms Casino & Resort
• 2 Tickets to Lingerie Bowl IX
• Chance to tackle an LFL Player during halftime
• VIP Experience: Private meet & greets, no-wait VIP access to Lingerie Bowl Weekend parties in Vegas, autographed merchandise
• $250 Gift card

Maybe it’s just that kindness and sexual decency have put me in a position where I can touch a woman for a few seconds without having to win a contest, but what the hell is the selling point to being allowed to tackle a female Underwear Football player, and when did professional sports become the V.I.P. room at Pandora’s Men’s Club? Has there even been a more rapey sweepstakes prize? Do people watch Lingerie Football in the hopes that they might one day hurt their favorite player? I guess that makes sense. “Oh man, she’s wearing garters, and I get to sprint into her stomach with my shoulder and lie on top of her for a few seconds before security drags me away and shuffles me off to the Bellagio with a f**king VISA gift card.”

Somebody win this contest and refuse it. I think the team that wins the Lingerie Bowl should win the right to play their next season in pants.

[sorrowful h/t to Sportress]

It feels like a decade, but it has only been two years since we were first introduced to Rachel Uchitel, the woman who was the figurative (and probably literal) snowballer to the world’s former No. 1 golfer, Tiger Woods. In fact, in the two years since Uchitel first entered the public eye for her affair with Woods, the man who was once destined to be the greatest golfer of all time has even fallen from the Top 50 of the world golf rankings. And I can’t imagine that Uchitel’s latest announcement will make him any happier.

You see, she got married. Again.

The 36-year-old former ‘No. 1′ lover of the famous golfer exchanged vows with Matt Hahn, who is close to 10 years her junior, In Las Vegas over the weekend.

They got hitched at the famed Little White Chapel while in Sin City for a friend’s nuptials.

‘Rachel and Matt attended a friend’s wedding this weekend and were inspired to tie the knot themselves. It was all very spur of the moment and very romantic,’ a spokesperson tells Radar Online.

Uchitel added: ‘Matt and I were married in front of 12 friends on Sunday night at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, where everyone from Michael Jordan to Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, to Britney Spears were married.

(Via the Daily Mail)

Hot damn, that is some impressive company. I wonder how all those marriages turned out.

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