Here’s the guy that would have won Super Bowl XLIII for the Arizona Cardinals if they just woulda thrown him the damn ball a little sooner. Of course, the waitstaff has no problem just throwing a plate full of pancakes, coffee, and whatever that little white thing is. Oh, I guess that’s a mug for the coffee. I forgot that they have that little bar of different syrups on the tables. But seriously, does anybody even eat breakfast anymore? I spend most of my mornings making sure my girlfriend gets to junior high school on time. via.
You’re a 20-something year old white kid. Almost by definition, you should never, ever, challenge Larry Fitzgerald to a foot race. And you should never, ever wager a video camera on it. Dude’s just like, “Yeah, okay. What do I need this $1200 piece of equipment for, anyway? Now I won’t have to carry it home. Excellent. Oh, wait, bro, you gotta lemme keep the memory card.” Thanks, Quentin.
UPDATE: The blogger in question is friend of With Leather Dewey Hammond. You can read his account of the story at Yardbarker.
Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu will share the cover of the next Madden game, Madden NFL 10, which of course will be released this summer. They’re both dynamic performers with big hair that energized their respective organizations to their industry’s biggest stage. Yeah, they’re rock stars. New features on the game in this edition include a roster update and that’s probably about it.
And EA is also promising some sort of interactive experience for the NFL draft tomorrow. I have no idea what that might include, but I doubt it’s enough to keep me on a computer for a sixth straight day.
A big story in Tampa this week has been about superhuman wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald and his father, Larry Sr., an NFL reporter in Minnesota. Rick reilly and other columnists were all, “Larry Senior is awesome ’cause he’s going to not cheer in the press box and remain totally objective.” Then there was the backlash by people with facts, who were all, “Uhhhh, actually, he’s not objective at all.” Then the columnists got pissed off and tossed barbs back. The whole thing has been pretty annoying and gay, which is why I haven’t written about it.
Forgotten in all of this are the accusations of abuse and bribery made by Angela Nazario, the former Raiders cheerleader who gave birth to Fitgerald’s son. Remember a year ago when this happened?
A source close to Nazario says he has asked her to “hide” out in a small Arizona town, and asked her to have an abortion. Fitzgerald also allegedly tried to bribe her with offers of houses and cars, and when she declined, he told her “I don’t need this all over the news like Matt Leinart.”
After she gave birth, Nazario later accused Fitzgerald of slamming her head into a marble floor and tearing chunks of her hair out. And now, rumors are beginning to swirl (see buried lede) that Nazario and son Devin will be at the Super Bowl on Sunday. Rick Reilly has yet to write a column on whether or not she’ll be cheering for Fitzgerald.
Hey, look! Philadelphia is trying to make some exciting off-season moves:
The Eagles have talked to the Cardinals about acquiring Fitzgerald, with cornerback Lito Sheppard and receiver Reggie Brown rumored to be part of the offer. The Cardinals have little interest in either player, and they are not eager to part with Fitzgerald, who made two Pro Bowls in his first four seasons. Sheppard also has been to the Pro Bowl twice, but there are questions about his durability and he's unhappy with his contract. The Cardinals aren't eager to trade for someone else's problem.
But if the Cardinals won't trade for someone else's problem, who will? Also, Takeo Spikes will no longer be clad in midnight green on Sundays:
Spikes told WIP-AM (610) that the Eagles had tried to get the veteran linebacker to play for less money, but two team sources said that wasn't the case. Eagles officials said they simply wanted to go with the young linebackers who showed promise in the latter stages of last season.
Hmm, wants to go withsomebody younger and who's not someone else's problem? Sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, if you think this post was just an excuse to display a photo of former Eagles cheerleader and sexy party girl Ali, you're absolutely correct. Enjoy! -KD
As noted yesterday, Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald has a paternity suit coming his way, despite his alleged efforts to keep his impregnated cheerleader quiet with bribes and his desire for her to get an abortion. It's one of those heartwarming stories.
In an in-depth follow-up to the story, I couldn't find a picture of the cheerleader in question, but industrious Internet wizard Brent sent along this photo of the mom-to-be, Angela Nazario, back when she was in playing shape. At least I have reason to think it's her. I mean, the file is called "angela_nazario" — how can it NOT be her? Plus "Nazario" is one of those names that's, like, Italian or some kinda Spanish, and this chick has dark hair and dark eyes, so that checks out, too. On the other hand, the photo looks like it could easily be from the early '90s, so maybe Fitty's got himself one of those time-cocks I keep hearing about.
Right. So anyway, this post seemed like a better idea before I started writing it. Whatever. Hey, it's a picture of a cheerleader. What the hell else do you want from me?
