Spring Break 2013 may have come and gone, but the memories will last forever. That’s why I’ve created this series, Spring Break Revisited, so I can celebrate great moments in America’s greatest month-long religious holiday. This week’s edition takes us to swingin’ Panama City Beach, Florida and one woman’s amazing, brave battle with vertigo.

Doctors always told Champayne Rose Jenkins that life was going to be tougher for her than for other girls. As a child, she’d suffered from severe vertigo that left her unable to walk without having to grip rails or walls, and she spent all of her spare time in physical therapy while the other kids were out playing Hide N Seek and league Quidditch. “Things will change,” she always told herself, as she clung to her silly dream of becoming a professional dancer.

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If you thought that we’d even go one day without someone creating the story that Tim Tebow wants to immediately become the New York Jets starting quarterback, then you just don’t know the New York sports media, Jack. The New York Daily News posted an article early this morning claiming that sources said that Tebow plans to be the Jets’ starter. Thank you, New York sports media, your fabricated scandals never cease to humor us.

But this could end up being a stressful venture for Tebow, as he has stated that he considers Mark Sanchez a friend, and accusations that he’s staging some sort of coup could disturb the chemistry that Tebow would be seeking to build immediately. Thankfully, New York’s finest are here to help, as the girls at Rick’s Cabaret have offered to give Tebow his presumably first lap dance ever, free of charge.

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