With the NFL labor deal reportedly eminent, technically-unemployed football guys should be finishing up all the activities they’d get in trouble for otherwise. Case in point: this picture of Tennessee Titans wide receiver Kenny Britt on stage at a Britney Spears concert, being handcuffed to a chair and having his neck ridden by an oafish middle-aged woman. I’m not sure where Britney Spears was when this photo was taken, but I think she would’ve enjoyed it.

Here are two additional pictures, courtesy of Black Sports Online. Click for the larger versions.

Hopefully as the day goes on we’ll have more important football news to share, like the end of the lockout, or at least those pics of Dorin Dickerson being gay birthed from a colossal mirrorball cocoon at the Lady Gaga show.

[via Hot Clicks]

Are you a Florida-based fan of the Washington Wizards? Do you enjoy having a lady you don’t know rub her business on your legs? Have you ever wanted someone from the Wizards to watch you while a lady rubbed her business on your legs?

Now you can, thanks to Lapdance Tuesdays, hosted by Wizards forward and Twitter fight promoter Andray Blatche. It all goes down Tuesday nights at the Cameo Theatre nightclub, presented by something called “The Opium Group” and featuring a “strict dress code,” which I guess includes those logo-nonspecific uniforms players have to wear when they show up on boxes of macaroni and cheese. Also advertised: music by DJ Affect and DJ Mummy. DJ Mummy! I bet he plays a lot of wrap.

So, only two questions remain: one, if you live in Florida, why do you care about the Washington Wizards? And two, can you maintain wood with Andray Blatche circling you, going “oh! oh! oh! Give it up?”

[D.C. Sports Bog]

There’s really nothing to add here, except for the fact that Steve Nash is luckier than most of us would ever be. But check out how terrified he is up there. Did he not know what a lap dance was? I bet he did that same frantic look around when Amare’ went to the Knicks. Come on, Steve Nash. Act like you’ve been there before.

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We go from Roker’s lap band to Texas lap dances: this had been on Deadspin and everywhere else by the time Burnsy sent it to me, but we still have to make the requisite whore jokes and potshots toward traditional macro-brews. Notice I didn’t say “American” beer, because those sons of btiches aren’t owned by American companies anymore. Now get off my lawn so I can drink my Yuengling.

Anyway, the Cowboys are 1-6, and the only bright spot of last weeks’ Monday night affair was watching this drunk chick bounce up and down on her boyfriend (presumably). She’s not horrible-looking either. Fortunately for her, everything’s bigger in Texas. Did they film this through a keyhole? Judging from their seats, I’m just assuming that she was rubbing on his pants so money would fall out. Wow, she’s so trashed. Let’s hear it for traditional macro-brew. Via Gordon Keith.

Former University of Kentucky basketball star and NBA journeyman Ron Mercer got into a brouhaha at a Nashville strip club:

Police said Mercer's friend, 34-year-old Robert Edward Johnson, was also charged with felony aggravated assault for stabbing a bouncer at the club in the same incident. The pair got into a verbal argument with a dancer at Anthony's Show Place on April 21 and were asked to leave by the security guard, Keith Battle. A fight broke out among the three men and Johnson admitted to police that he stabbed the bouncer in the right side and shoulder with a knife. Battle was not seriously hurt. Another bouncer, William Beels Jr., was punched in the face by Mercer, police said.

Who among us can't sympathize with Mr. Mercer?  I mean your buddy gave that dancer an extra $5 for a "special" lap dance, and the harlot has the nerve to slap you when you gently lick her thigh?  Honestly, where did you receive your training Miss?  But I suppose Ron only has himself to blame if he's hanging out with somebody named Robert Johnson.  I heard he sold his soul to the devil at the crossroads. -KD

{A Pudge is a Sandwich}