When it comes to Major League Soccer, the Los Angeles Galaxy have been the equivalent of the New York Yankees, displaying no shame in paying top dollar to bring in the biggest soccer players in the game. In the past 5 years, the Galaxy have shelled out big bucks for Robbie Keane, David Beckham and America’s favorite balding baller, Landon Donovan. Combined, the three stars make a ridiculous $12.2 million.

*checks numbers again, slides beads on abacus, punches “80085” on Texas Instruments graphing calculator*

Yup, a whopping $12.2 million between the three of them. Way to break the bank, Steinbrenner.

Regardless, the Galaxy have been criticized for essentially trying to buy a title, and good for them because it finally paid off. Led by their Big 3, the Galaxy defeated the Houston Dynamo by a ridiculous 1-0 to win the MLS Cup, as millions of Americans finally caved and bowed down to their new soccer gods. Or they probably watched “Family Guy.” One or the other.

But the big winner was David Beckham, who came to the U.S. as a poor, unknown British man looking to make it in America and fulfill his dream of being a footballer on the world’s biggest stage. Accompanied by his demure, modest wife, Victoria, David has been the epitome of hard work and perseverance as he has shied away from the public spotlight and simply been a man of the people.

Life has been very tough for David Beckham, which is why we are happy to honor him today as a champion. For the first time in his life, Beckham knows success.

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While the entirety of the mainstream media began releasing Best Of lists in the first week of December, I wanted to wait as long as I possibly could to create my own, because of, you know, all of the games that take place throughout December. But who cares about college football anyway, right? Screw the bowl games and their rightful observation for prestigious consideration. And I was right to wait, because I originally had UConn’s winning streak in my Top 10 – I was trying to impress a girl – and now? *fart noise* Better luck next 90-game winning streak, Lady Huskies!

We had our fair share of great stories in 2010, those that made us feel good and appreciate the positive nature of competition on the grander scale. But screw all that, right? Our culture loves to witness failure and hoo boy did we have some failure this year! We had so many head-scratchers and stomach punches that there are certain athletes who could get their very own Top 10 lists. But they don’t deserve it. Hell, there are a few guys on the list you’re about to read that I wish we never had to talk about again.

I heartily expect everyone to disagree with my choices and where they rank, and that’s why I love sports and Top 10 lists – they both inspire the most nonsensical arguing outside of politics. As always, please share your thoughts, criticisms and misguided hatred for your parents in the comments.

With that said, here are my Top 10 sports moments of 2010…

Landon Donovan was a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman last night, and if you wanted to hear him talk about anything interesting, you were out of luck. Letterman decided not to address the rumors that Donovan impregnated an English woman. If the rumors are true, I’d be surprised. A soccer player’s penis can’t go very long without faking an injury.

The 28-year old Donovan, who is separated from but still married to actress Bianca Kajlich, star of the CBS sitcom “Rules of Engagement,” in response to a question by Sports Illustrated on Sunday did not deny the possibility of having fathered the child and promised to support the child if he proves to be the father.

Usually appearances by star athletes following major events are soft interviews, but Letterman had an opportunity to make some national news on Tuesday night by at least asking Donovan about the situation. –The Wrap

Letterman did have the chutzpah to ask Donovan’s opinion on the World Cup referees. Dave felt as if the officials were biased against the Americans, which I don’t feel is true. They suck equally for everyone. Read the rest of this entry »

Just when you thought American soccer was about to turn a corner and make a run for the World Cup, they fell 2-1 to Ghana. Allowing early goals was the team’s biggest problem throughout the tournament, and those troubles continued against the Ghanaians. Kevin Prince-Boateng scored in the fifth minute, forcing the USMNT to play from behind for a majority of the game. But the US once again proved they could rise to the challenge when Landon Donovan scored his third goal of the tournament on a penalty kick in the 62nd minute. That goal would force extra time, but the Ghanaians would once again take advantage of an early goal, when Asamoah Gyan scored in the 93rd minute. It proved to be the final nail in the coffin for the American squad. Who’s excited for the MLS season? That’s right, no one.

“A stinging, tough defeat,” said Bob Bradley, who faces an uncertain future as U.S. coach. –ESPN

Stinging, indeed. Had the Americans won, they would have faced a beatable Uruguay team in the quarterfinals. A win there would have put them in the tournament’s final four. The door was open for the USMNT to spike interest in a country that notoriously couldn’t care less. Sunil Gulati, president of the U.S. Soccer Federation wasn’t pleased with the performance, and heads may roll. Specifically, the head of coach Bob Bradley. Read the rest of this entry »

Earlier this week, we called Landon Donovan’s game winner in Algeria the greatest goal in the history of American soccer. There are some good arguments against that claim: Brandi Chastain‘s converted penalty kick in 1999 was the signature moment for that Women’s World Cup. There was the lone goal in America’s 1-0 win against England in 1950 by…uh…that one guy (who was Haitian, by the way). There’s ample room for debate.

The best argument I can give is this: the United States was at the foot of a mountain in this World Cup. Team USA, with its ouster of former coach Bruce Arena and the promising play of Jozy Altidore and Clint Dempsey, went into South Africa with an unusual situation — facing the burden of expectations. With a promising team and a favorable group draw, the Yankee Mutant Ninja Turtles were expected to advance to the knockout stage and be one of 16 teams to compete for a spot in the World Cup final. After a disappointing result with Slovenia, the US needed a win over Algeria to get out of their group.

And then this happened…
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How 'bout the power of flight? That do anything for ya?

WOOOOOOOO! Welcome to your official USA versus Slovenia thread! The best place to wear the Stars and Stripes and talk trash about Slovenia. Hey Slovenia! You, uh… you… *searches globe for Slovenia* uhhhmmm… *looks up Slovenia on Wikipedia* you only have a population of 2.06 million! Ooohhh, that’s a burn.

Despite their tiny population and rustic vacation-country charm, Slovenia are the Group C leaders, having dispatched Algeria last Saturday. So a win here would put the United States in excellent position to advance to the second round. And it should be some of the best soccer of the tournament, right?

The probability is that the center will be crowded on Friday, with all eight midfielders and possibly Dedic battling in the same space. It’s likely to be attritional and unpleasant, a battle of will as much as ability. There won’t be any sweeping 20-pass flurries or brilliant slaloming dribbles; aesthetes should probably turn away. Art, though, comes in many guises, and just because it isn’t beautiful doesn’t mean it isn’t soccer.

Um, not exactly the ringing endorsement I was looking for, Jonathan Wilson (that’s from a preview detailing how Slovenia’s style is similar to the US’s, by the way). That’s not how you psych up fans for a big match. Here, let me try: Hey, the Vietnam War wasn’t pretty, but we still won that. Shut up!  I SAID WE WON DAMMIT!