Amateur legal enthusiasts across America are flipping out at the sentences handed down in the Lance Armstrong bicycle caper. I think it’s only a “caper” when the offending parties are caught but I’m not terribly well-versed in these things. Anyway, Lee Monroe Crider (pictured), 40, and Dung Hoang Le, 33, both pleaded (pled?) no contest in Sacramento Superior Court earlier this month.

Crider, who originally stole Lance’s bike in February and sold it to Le, will be sentenced to three years in jail on Monday. And it’s not three years because stealing a bike is worse than DUI manslaughter or running a dogfighting ring. It’s three years because Crider is an idiot.

From the Sacramento Bee, via GameOn (emphasis added):

The report said Crider, a longtime thief with a 21-year criminal history in Sacramento, sold the bike to Le for $200.

It was Le who then returned the bicyle to the police. The police report said he had the bike in his car when the Elk Grove resident picked up his wife from work three days after it was reported missing.

The report said his wife told him, “That’s Lance’s bike. You better turn it in.”

So a career criminal got a longer sentence than first-time offenders? What a miscarriage of justice! Oh, and Le, who turned in the bike, got 90 days to be served on a sheriff’s work project, which sounds like it could actually be worse than jail.

Armstrong’s time trial bike was worth $10,000 according to the report, which makes it more valuable than my car and 40 percent of the people actually reading this. It also means that Crider sold the bike at a 98 percent loss. Like I said. Idiot.