Alberto Contador won the Tour de France for the second time today, capping a dominating three-week performance. His Astana teammate, some guy named Lance Armstrong, finished third.
Over nearly 3,500 kilometers and 21 stages of races over three weeks, Contador repelled many challenges in the mountains, excelled in the two time-trials — winning a pivotal race against the clock in the 18th stage — and won the first Alpine stage.
Contador, the 2007 champion, also had to battle a rearguard action [hee hee! - Ed.] within his Astana team, where the comeback of Armstrong to the Tour after 3 1/2 years of retirement raised questions about who would be the team leader. [source]
This concludes With Leather’s cycling coverage until next year, unless Armstrong bangs Megan Fox or someone tries to have sex with a bicycle. Hey, don’t scoff. It’s happened before.
Before the latest Tour de France started last week, Lance Armstrong was saying all the right things in relation to his new team, Astana. Sure, Lance would play a support role for team leader Alberto Contador. Sure, Lance wouldn’t try and upset the hierarchy of the team format which is the status quo for all Tour competitors. Yeah…about that…
“I am not ok with that theory saying there can be only one team leader,” said Armstrong.
“I have won seven Tours de France, I will have to be counted in.”
Armstrong’s remarks come after his amazing push in stage 3 yesterday that saw him move within 40 seconds of the overall lead, 19 seconds in front of would-be leader Contador. Team Astana, to their credit, is downplaying the feat.
Astana sports director Alain Gallopin said there would not be any problems within the team even though Armstrong has somehow upset the hierarchy. “There are no troubles at all in our team, it’s even the contrary,” he said.
Contador said what happened on Monday was unlikely to change his fate. “I do want to comment on the tactics of the team,” he said. “Everyone can draw their own conclusions. Anyway, the Tour will not be decided with what has happened today. It’s just a race incident.”
That’s a relief, because the last thing I need is to start caring about cycling again. It’s like NASCAR without the…beer? I don’t care much about people on bikes unless they’re wearing conical straw hats and pajamas, if you know what I mean. But, seriously, Lance. You’ve got a lot of ball pulling stuff like that so early in the race.
France’s anti-doping agency is at it again with Lance Armstrong, better known as The Only Reason America Pretends To Care About Cycling. Armstrong is now under fire for not respecting, uh, “the obligation to remain under the direct and permanent observation” of a doctor assigned to him on the day of a substance test. Creeeeeepy:
At question is a 20-minute delay when Armstrong says the tester agreed to let him shower while the American rider’s assistants checked the tester’s credentials. AFLD said cycling’s governing body has given its permission to open disciplinary procedures against Armstrong, but did not say what the punishment could be.
AFLD president Pierre Bordry noted that the statement does not say that Armstrong is guilty of an infraction. AFLD is expected to make a decision on whether to proceed with sanctions after its nine-member ruling committee has considered the tester’s report.
I have no idea whether or not Armstrong is dirty, but I respect the “game within the game” that PED testing has become over the past 20 years. If you don’t get caught, that’s as good as not having done it for me, since all these other clowns are out there shooting each other in the ass with who-knows what. Just because The White Barry Bonds doesn’t shave his legs and take part in their spandex circle-jerk doesn’t ruin his standing in a sport where he’s the only reason I even care. Besides, anything that annoys the French is automatically awesome.
Lance Armstrong (you remember him, right?) has been training in southern France for another race in his coming-out-of-retirement tour when he was approached by the AFLD, France’s anti-doping agency for a sample to test. And just when Ol’ One Ball was ready to whip it out and fill up a cup, they asked him for hair. From Y! News:
“He was surprised we asked for a hair sample, he asked some questions,” Jean-Pierre Verdy, the AFLD’s operating chief, told Reuters after an AFLD meeting on Wednesday.
AFLD President Pierre Bordry told a news conference the move was also aimed at showing Armstrong he was “a rider like any other.”
“He must know that he is like everybody else,” said Bordry.
Yeah, he’s just like every other Yankee scum that won our marquee bike race seven times. I’m amazed some Pierre hasn’t gone Jeff Gilloly on him yet. I always thought Armstrong went back into racing to boost his Q rating back to the point where he didn’t have to pay for sex. Hey, count your blessings Lance, that could have been your corpse lying in Mary Kate Olsen’s apartment. Is it laying or lying? Eh, he got an Oscar; who cares…
Lance Armstrong finished seventh overall at the Tour of California (Armstrong’s Astana team leader Levi Leipheimer won for the third straight year), but the highlight was the seven-time Tour de France winner shoving this syringe-wielding jackass into a snow bank.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending Lance Armstrong’s decisions to leave his wife for Sheryl Crow or hook up with an Olsen twin or hang out with Matthew McConaughey. I’m really just supporting the idea that if fans want to interfere with sporting events, then all rules are off for the athletes beating their ass. Like, sure, you should be allowed to run around the bases at the Major League game of your choice. And if you get beaten to death with a baseball bat, sweet. Thanks for the extra entertainment.
[pedal.com.br via Fan IQ]
Lance Armstrong’s return to cycling is continuing with the nine-day Tour of California — he’s currently among the leaders despite a stolen bike — and the 7-time Tour de France winner has still got plenty of fire. In this video, Paul Kimmage of the Sunday Times asks Armstrong a question and mentions that his request for an interview was rejected. And then Armstrong points out that the reporter once called him cycling’s “cancer,” and he proceeds to verbally take Kimmage to the woodshed.
Jeez, you lose a testicle and almost die from cancer and then set up a huge charity and donate millions of dollars to fight the disease, and suddenly cancer stops being funny. Thanks a lot, Lance. What am I supposed to do now? Tell heart disease jokes?
[Velo News via Awful Announcing]
