Miley Cyrus has made a sustainable, blockbuster career out of professions that shouldn’t make her famous. She was the daughter of country music’s Rick Astley. She was the star of a Disney Channel show about a girl who wears a wig. She had a custom-built Nicholas Sparks movie set up around her and tours the world as a Latina (?) teenager who booty-pops to auto-tuned Madonna songs with her best friend Biggus Dickus. Now Miley is embarking on a new career, and it makes less sense than ever: she’s been declared a goodwill ambassador to the game of bowling and elected to the Bowling Hall Of Fame.

Via a report from E! Online:

“We knew that with megastars such as Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber in our lineup that this year’s race would be a close one,” said Steve Johnson, executive director of the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America.

“Fueled by the passion and support of her supporters and bowling fans worldwide, Ms. Cyrus rose to the occasion scoring an incredible comeback victory. We are honored to welcome her into the Hall of Fame and grateful for her support of the great sport of bowling.”

As mentioned, Miley beat out bowling luminaries Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga and one or more Jonas Brothers to take the honor. She also beat Jeff Bridges, who as far as I know is the only person on that list to have done something in his life about bowling. The rationale for nominating these people, besides free press (and the question “can you name a pro bowler”)?

“The roster of candidates includes celebrities who have helped support and popularize bowling, contributing to its status as the nation’s number one participatory sport,” the statement says.

I googled “Miley Cyrus bowling” and literally the only thing I could find besides “Miley Cyrus inducted into Bowling Hall Of Fame” were two pictures of her doing a Hannah Montana press thing at a bowling alley when she was 11. Her head hasn’t started going through puberty yet. Look at her, shelooks like a Monchichi.

Anyway, I guess I’d have to be pretty Sports By Brooks to try and call out the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America for giving a black eye to the nation’s number one participatory sport, but damn, Drew Carey getting into the WWE Hall of Fame was pretty dumb, but at least he spent a few minutes in the Royal Rumble. This is like the Pawnee chapter of the Indiana Organization of Women giving Ron Swanson “Woman Of The Year”.

I bet there’s some poor, awesome bowler somewhere checking his mailbox every day to see if the BPAA has decided to value him over a bobbleheaded teenager who once held a bowling ball. Sorry, Ralph, not this year.

[h/t to FARK]

The Morning Links section is all about spreading the love to our friends, peers and Network At Large, but today the sports section is going to be all about With Leather. I feel like we’ve been doing a great job since I came on, and if you disagree I am going to jam material down your throat until it comes out your backside.

And then it will read something like Bleacher Report.

Sports

The Greatest Atrocity in the History of Sport - If you missed this from last week, you’re really missing out. Punte’s story of disdain toward a BMX biker who cares more about breakfast than competition is outstanding, and the kind of thing that should have 1500 comments. [With Leather]

Gilbert Arenas Really Loves Planking - He does, apparently. Burnsy’s gallery explores the joys of lying on things that aren’t comfortable in situations that could prove sociall awkward. Hilarity ensues! And yes, it looks like he’s parking in handicap spots. [With Leather]

Mexican Soccer Fans Are Boorish Animals: A First-Hand Account - Matt Ufford was the King of With Leather in its infancy, and this kind of thing is why. For extra fun, join in the comments discussion, where you will be called a “dumbass” and an “idiot” no matter WHAT you think. [With Leather]

The Best and Worst of WWE Raw 6/27 - If you have typed the words “probably” and “worked shoot” into a sentence in the last two days, you need to read this column. Then, don’t ever write about wrestling on the Internet again. [With Leather]

Not Sports
Okay, now about the other people

Lady Gaga Is A Panda Now - I still appreciate Gaga’s madness, but part of me wishes she’d spent longer in that sweet spot when she was carrying around a teacup and wearing Mickey Mouse sunglasses all the time. She was still hot and super weird, but she hadn’t started digivolving into mantises and Asian beasts. [Uproxx]

BBQ’s & Boomboxes: 25 Essential Summer Songs - Sometimes I really wish I wrote for The Smoking Section. It’s so much cooler than what I get to do. They get to write about “Illmatic”. I have to write about David Eckstein. Wait, hold on, this list has the Kings of Leon on it, nevermind, they are the David Eckstein of popular music. [Smoking Section]

Fun with RottenTomatoes Career Graphs - It’s not surprising to see Chuck Norris and Jennifer Love Hewitt as the worst actor and actress of all time based on science. I still forgive Love for Can’t Hardly Wait, and I’m sure one day she’s going to show up on Entertainment Tonight and be all “oh wait, hey guys, here’s a well-lit porno I taped when I was 22, enjoy”. [Film Drunk]

Ten Toys That ‘Transformed’ Into Television Shows - All I cared about when I was little was He-Man’s Bashasaurus vehicle “transforming” me into a kid who owned the He-Man Bashasaurus. I feel like I would’ve hated these Transformers movies when I was five about as much as I do now. [Warming Glow]

On Tuesday, we introduced you to Molly, a young Pittsburgh Steelers fan with a ukulele, a love for the her team, and pretty decent song rewriting skills. Molly turned Lady GaGa’s “Bad Romance” into an anthem for Steelers fans, who wear clothing made of raw meat (wouldn’t count it out), and for two glorious days Molly was a pop-culture-merged-with-sports queen.

But not if some young Green Bay Packers fans can help it. Some Lil Cheezeys made their own video version of “Bad Romance” set to Packers lyrics, and these kids threw in choreographed dance moves and some sassy attitudes. Your move, Molly. But I’ll warn you that I’m now expecting fireworks, maybe some live cobras, and a dwarf with a flamethrower riding an alpaca. It isn’t hard, you have until midnight.

Packers “Bad” response after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

–via Zimbio

Popular hermaphrodite pop singer Lady Gaga took a break from making my ears bleed to go see the Yankees play on Friday. It didn’t take long for her to make her penis presence felt in the Yankees clubhouse, but the Yankees have decided not to ban her from Yankee Stadium. I have no idea why.

As for the Bronx? While diamond-studded bikini night won’t appear on the promotional schedule anytime soon, Lady Gaga has not been prohibited in the Bomber clubhouse, despite a report Sunday saying she had been banned following her controversial visit after Friday’s 4-0 loss to the Mets.”She’s not banned,” GM Brian Cashman told the Daily News Sunday.

Though clubhouse insiders said Lady Gaga “enjoyed the refreshments” or described her as “lit,” Robinson Cano said “she was nice.” Her attire for the backstage visit reportedly included fishnet stockings, a thong and a loose-fitting Yankees jersey.

The Yankees said they didn’t take issue with anything Lady Gaga did, but Cashman said the decision to let that happen after a loss was terrible.–NYDailyNews

Now, I’m no fashionista, and I certainly don’t find Lady Gaga attractive, but I have to admit I’m a fan of women wearing only fishnets, thongs, and loose fitting jerseys to baseball games. They, along with cheap booze, can make anything watchable. The Yankees, however, should take any opportunity to ban Lady Gaga from their clubhouse. They need to keep Alex Rodriguez as far away from slutty, attention seeking monsters “musicians” as possible. Read the rest of this entry »