FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Written by Matt / 07.23.08

Fans expecting a night of jumpers and bounce passes at last night's LA Sparks-Detroit Shock game were instead treated to an episode of the Bitchy & Scratchy Show, as the final five seconds exploded into a melee, ruining thousands of father-daughter bonding sessions and lesbian dates.  Well, maybe not the lesbian dates.  Superstar rookie Candace Parker — the woman who has dunked in a game twice as many times as everyone in the history of the WNBA combined — was at the center of the tempest:

Parker got tangled up with Detroit’s Plenette Pierson and fell to the ground. As she was getting up, Pierson intentionally ran into her, setting off the melee.  Parker threw a punch at Pierson before being tackled by Detroit’s Deanna Nolan. Players and coaches from both teams joined in, and Mahorn knocked Lisa Leslie to the court at one point.

Pierson, Parker, Mahorn, and DeLisha Milton-Jones (who shoved and punched Mahorn) were all ejected, at which point the two teams played the agonizingly slow final 4.5 seconds of he game.

From a spectator standpoint, I have to say: it's a pretty good scuffle.  Certainly not an all-out brawl, but definitely more serious than some dinky catfight.  I guess the WNBA finally showed they can play like their male counterparts.  "Malice at the Palace II."  Much better than the name for regular Shock games, Malaise at the Palace.

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GREAT MOMENTS IN WNBA HISTORY

Written by Matt / 06.23.08

Candace Parker dunked for the Los Angeles Sparks in a 77-63 win over the Indiana Fever last night, becoming just the second person to dunk in a WNBA game since the league's inaugural season of 1997.  Teammate Lisa Leslie accomplished the feat, sort of, in 2002.

Excuse me while I'm sincere for a moment: Candace Parker is a great athlete, and while I prefer sexier women's sports like tennis, beach volleyball, and foxy boxing, I admire that the WNBA gives young women role models in sports who don't make headlines for their sex appeal.  Still, it's kind of sad that a dunk is such a huge deal.  Ordinarily I'd make some kind of joke about the drunk sorority girl bragging about peeing in a urinal, but I think the mainstream media has already been patronizing enough.

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