What is it about pregnant ladies that makes athletes want to punch them so badly? Brian Giles of the San Diego Padres (allegedly) slapped his pregnant girlfriend in the face, shook and kicked her, and battered her into a miscarriage. This was caught on alleged video tape, where we could allegedly watch him do it. Elijah Dukes has been arrested for pretty much everything, including “aggravated assault on a pregnant woman.” I ain’t even bullsh:tting. And now Lakers rookie forward Derrick Caracter has been arrested in a House of Pancakes for getting drunk and hitting a pregnant waitress in New Orleans.

A report from the New Orleans Times-Picayune shares the details.

Derrick Caracter, 22, was arrested about 1:18 a.m. Sunday at the IHOP in the 800 block of Canal Street, said New Orleans Police spokeswoman Shereese Harper.

Caracter, a 6-foot-9 forward who was in New Orleans for the playoffs series, was drunk and acting disorderly inside the restaurant, police said.

He “started grabbing and pulling” a pregnant waitress, prompting the manager to go outside and flag down a police officer, Harper said. The female officer tried to defuse the situation, Harper said, but Caracter remained obstinate. The officer arrested him.

In terms of sports, Caracter hasn’t played a second in the Lakers’ series against the Hornets, so his arrested and hopefully ensuing shame won’t change anything for the team. In terms of everything else that matters in the world, Jesus Christ, dude, how awful of a human being do you have to be to hit a woman, much less a pregnant woman, much less a pregnant lady stranger at the IHOP? I’m not being Jay Mariotti here, I’m actually concerned.

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Last night’s NBA Playoffs action was pretty much business as usual, so I’ll be light on controversy and superstar accusations today. I’ll have more tomorrow, of course, but right now we’re in the clear.

Oklahoma City Thunder 106, Denver Nuggets 89 (Series: OKC 2-0)

League officials admitted that referees should have called interference on Kendrick Perkins late in Game 1 between the Thunder and the Nuggets, on a tip-in that gave the Thunder the lead. While you could argue that the Nuggets lost Game 1 on their own, though, there is absolutely no arguing about Game 2. OKC just absolutelty pwned the Nuggets 4 realz LOL.

Kevin Durant led the way with 23 points as one of five Thunder players in double scoring. Goat of the game goes to Wilson Chandler, who countered Ty Lawson’s 20-point performance for Denver with just 4 points on 4 free throws. Somewhere Carmelo Anthony just smiled… and allowed six baskets.

Los Angeles Lakers 87, New Orleans Hornets 78 (Series: 1-1)

What a snore fest. Chris Paul and Trevor Ariza combined for 42 points for the Hornets while the rest of their team must have purchased new cellular plans, because they were phoning it in. *bowtie spins*

Even worse, Kobe Bryant was 3-for-10 with just 11 points and Pau Gasol chipped in just 8. The Lakers’ big sparks were provided by Andrew Bynum’s 90-year old knees and Lamar Odom, who is fresh off of winning the NBA’s Sixth Man Award, which we’ll hear plenty about on his new show Khloe & Lamar, currently airing in the ninth level of Hell.

San Antonio Spurs 93, Memphis Grizzlies 87 (Series: 1-1)

Each of Memphis’ starters scored in double figures last night, but the return of Manu Ginobli was enough to get the Spurs back to even in this series. Why was Ginboli out? I assume it was some sort of flopping injury but I’m too lazy to look. His 17 points led the Spurs, though, so he gets a cookie for that.

Zach Randolph finished with just 11 points on 5-14 shooting, while OJ Mayo and Shane Battier combined for just 8 points off the bench. Said Mayo, “Come on, have you watched me play this season?”

Tonight is the Yom Kippur of the NBA season, because at 9 PM EST, the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers will play one last game to settle the NBA Championship. Boston in the Finals means one thing: insufferable douche bags. And it just wouldn’t be a Game 7 if the most insufferable of all douche bags didn’t put in his two cents. Gimmie what ya got, Dane Cook.

“I heard Phil Jackson said the Celtics are a team that loses in the fourth quarter. Well, the Lakers are gonna be a team that loses the championship.” –NBA Off Season

You really showed him, Dane. Please, go back to jumping around like a jackass instead of writing actual material. Speaking of jackasses, Laker fans refuse to let Bostonians one-up their douche-baggery. Various high-ranking LA government officials have already issued a statement to the Detroit LA ‘faithful’, who have been known to have a penchant for destruction. Read the rest of this entry »

That hat would have been more helpful than Ron Artest

The NBA Finals will head back to LA for Game 6, with the Boston Celtics holding a 3-2 advantage over the Lakers. Kobe Bryant was unstoppable, scoring 23 straight points for the Lakers on a streak that began with 4:23 left in the second, and ended when there was only 2:16 left in the third. Unfortunately for him, his teammates channeled their inner Keith Van Horn, forcing Phil Jackson to contemplate bringing former Laker great Vlade Divac out of retirement.

Generally, when a team has a player that hot they’re hard to beat. Unfortunately for Kobe, he was the only Laker scoring. Kobe finished with 38 on the night, while the next highest scoring Laker was Pau Gasol who had a 12 point, 12 rebound performance. The other eight Lakers had a combined 38 points, undoubtedly distracted by Khloe Kardashian’s stunning good looks.

But Bryant said neither the rivalry nor revenge should be motivating his teammates when they try to stave off elimination at home.

“Just man up and play. What the hell is the big deal?” he said. “If I have to say something to them, then we don’t deserve to be champions. We’re down 3-2: Go home, win one game, go into the next one. Simple as that.”

Bryant did everything he could to send the Lakers home with the edge.

He scored 23 straight Lakers points between the 4:23 mark of the second quarter until there was 2:16 left in the third. But over that span, the Celtics expanded the lead from one point to 13. –ESPN

In Game 4, it was Shrek and Donkey, along with the rest of the Celtics’ bench that got the job done for Bill Simmons’ boys. However, it was The Big 3 plus Rajon Rondo who ran the show in Game 5. Combined, they had 75 points: Pierce finished with 27, Rondo and KG dropped 18 a piece, and Ray Allen got his licks in with 12. KG was also able to regain his dominance on the boards, grabbing 10, while Rondo was able to run the show picking up 8 assists. Doc Brown Rivers was able to maintain his team’s composure while Bryant dominated the game.

“I just tried to keep telling them, ‘It’s only 2 points each time he scores. It’s not 10,’” Celtics coach Doc Rivers said. “It’s just like if someone else was scoring. … I love that our guys for the most part, they understood what he was doing. But we defended everyone else. And I thought it was big.” –ESPN

The Lakers didn’t do a good job on either the offensive or defensive end of the court. The Celtics shot 56% from the field, and held LA to below 40%. Now I’m no Reggie Miller, but I’m pretty sure that’s a bad sign. Boston is now only one win away from beating their rivals in the finals for the second time in three seasons. If they win it all, be ready for high chances of Brian Scalabrine bitching to the media for not predicting a Boston sweep. A collection of Scalabrine FAILS to help get over your case of the Mondays after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

The Boston Celtics have tied up the NBA Finals, and they owe it more to “Big Baby” than the Big Three.

Backup Glen “Big Baby” Davis scored half of his 18 points in the fourth quarter on Thursday night as the Celtics bench pulled away from the Los Angeles Lakers to win 96-89 and even the best-of-seven series at two games apiece.

“Just will, that’s all it is,” Davis said. “This is what legends are made of, this is where you grasp the moment. … Just play in the moment.” –ESPN

Kevin Garnett’s mom may want to start ordering more pizzas, because more guys are showing up to the Big 3′s slumber parties. Rajon Rondo has been extended frequent invitations for his stellar play this postseason (16 points, 9.5 assists, 5.5 rebounds, and 2 steals per game), while Nate Robinson may have earned himself a seat at the table after last night’s performance. Marquise Daniels and Brian Scalabrine don’t care that they weren’t invited. They didn’t want to go anyway. Read the rest of this entry »

The Big 3 celebrates Christmas in June

In case you weren’t aware, the Boston Celtics went into Staples Center and defeated the Lakers 103-94 last night. Ray Allen, who had to sit much of Game 1 because of foul trouble, was better in Game 2. I’ll let Larry David tell you how he played:

Pretty good indeed, Larry. Warming up for 3 hours before game paid off, as Allen channeled his inner NBA Jam to the tune of 32 points. He was on fire in the first half hitting 7 threes in a row, a Finals record. But he wasn’t done there, Allen hit another three in the second half (finishing 8-11 from downtown) to set the record for three pointers made in a Finals game. He eclipsed his own performance in the 2008 Finals, Scottie Pippen, and Kenny Smith to make the record his own. Ray talked about how he was able to get open at the post game press conference.

“I didn’t think it was easy, getting the 3′s up in the air,” Allen said. “You look up and everybody is probably thinking, ‘How did this guy get open?’ But there’s so much going on there — big screens, misdirection plays. I thought they did everything they could to keep me from shooting 3′s, [but we] worked tirelessly.” –ESPN.com

Rajon Rondo finished with a “quiet” triple double, if such a thing exists. He was a stat sheet stuffer, leading the Celtics in rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks. The Lakers got 20 point performances out of Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant, and Andrew Bynum. Highlights after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »