There’s gonna be a lot of disagreement about this one, but daaaaamn Victoria Beckham looked good at the opening of the new Armani store in New York.  A lot of people say that she’s too skinny or looks like a Fembot, and they mean it like those are bad things.  No way.  I dig the sassy short dress and the super-high heels and the fact that her hair and makeup probably took hours.  She gives off an air that she’s way too good for me… and that only makes me want here more.

More pictures of her below, and for you ladies out there I added some of her husband shirtless after a recent AC Milan game.  Hubba hubba or whatever.

And just so we get some sports discussion: it’s looking more and more like David Beckham will never return to MLS, something that doesn’t really matter to American soccer fans (both of us).  But it’s a good opportunity for the media to crow about Beckham’s failed American experiment.  “GRAWRRRR! He failed to meet the overblown expectations that we created by overhyping him!  Now we hate him!”  Well played, sports media.  Well played.

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DC United's Luciano Emilio Gonzalo Martinez took this laser from David Beckham directly to the groin during the second minute of yesterday's game at RFK, leaving the forward writhing on the pitch while Becks chuckled about destroying another man's genitalia.  Which, when you think about it, is the only appropriate reaction.

[Update: basically, the rest of this post no longer makes sense.] However, the DC trainers must have poured some magic water down Emilio's shorts, because he stayed in the game to register two goals and an assist in United's 4-1 win over the Galaxy.  Pretty impressive.  I took a point-blank shot to the groin once while I was playing goalkeeper in an intramural league.  Not only did I leave the game, I didn't even take a deep breath for the next week.  I also cried myself to sleep that night.  But, to be fair, that was more because I rented Finding Nemo.

[Awful Announcing] 

Sadly for the three women disturbed enough to read this blog, David Beckham's air-kiss to FC Dallas's Adrian Serioux wasn't foreplay to hardcore gay sex, but a taunt after the defender delivered this egregious two-foot tackle from behind that earned Serioux a red card during the Galaxy's 5-1 win on Sunday.

As Serioux tromped off the field at Pizza Hut Park, Beckham blew him a couple of kisses and then curled up his fingers and gave him a few farewell waves. That riled up the record crowd of 22,331, and from then on they booed Beckham every time he touched the ball.

Beckham's response? After laying on the perfect cross for Edson Buddle to head home his third goal of the game and the Galaxy's fifth, Beckham turned to the crowd and put his right forefinger to his lips in a shushing motion.

Holy crap.  There were 22,000 Texans at a pro soccer game?  Was there some kind of crazy promotion?  "All kids under 12 get a free FC Dallas hand gun"?

[Deuce of Davenport] 

The Beckhams went out to dinner in London last night, where they finished in second place at the Las Vegas costume contest.  They probably could have come in first, but David forgot his green visor, and the judges dismissed Victoria's whore outfit as "too obvious."

[Kickette] 

Former Chelsea star Graeme La Saux accuses David Beckham of using a homosexual slur in his new autobiography Graeme La Saux: Left Field:

He [La Saux] jumped for the ball in a September 2000 game and caught Beckham's head with his elbow, cutting it, drawing blood and prompting Beckham to call him a "[bleep]ing poof." "That shocked me," says LeSaux, who is straight. "That this was somebody who is obviously not homophobic makes it even more significant. I'm sure it does not cross David's mind to talk like that in, say, Elton John's company, but as a reaction to an incident, I was fair game to be called a 'poof.' "

First, it's funny when one Englishman calls another Englishman gay.  I mean they're all gay, right?  Second, no one would ever call Elton John a 'poof', he's a 'queen'.  Third, I wonder what Beck's thinks of homosexual robots?  Finally, I can't wait to read La Saux's book, except I just remembered, I don't care what soccer players think. -KD

The LA Galaxy lost to Mexico's Pachuca in the $1 million Superliga final last night on penalty kicks, and — even worse — lost David Beckham to a sprained knee when he and an opponent tried to kick the ball at the same time.  Despite a bicycle kick goal in stoppage time to tie the game, the Galaxy fell apart thanks to an own-goal from Peter Vagenas (heh) and Landon Donovan's meek tap of a failed PK.  Strange, Landycakes is usually so reliable in pressure situations.  FanHaus recaps the carnage:

The Galaxy's 2007 embarassment is now complete. The club will win no trophies and see no postseason action, Beckham now has injuries to his left ankle and right knee, and the rest of the team needs a complete overhaul.

So they've got that going for them. 

Too bad he didn't injure his penis.  I bet Victoria could heal the shit out of it.  I still think she's a sexy cyborg sent from the future to save mankind from ugliness.