Fox Sports West sideline reporter Christine Nubla seemed to have something else on her mind while reporting from the Clippers sideline a few weeks back. To be fair, though, it's hard for a woman not to think about double penetration when Sam Cassell and Chris Kaman are on the court. HOTT!
Thanks to the super-smart YouTube editor who thought it was necessary to replay "double penetration" six times, including once in slo-mo. We heard her the first time, cockbag.
Because I haven't done a basketball wrap-up in a couple days, and because I really don't want to have to talk about hockey, here's a run-down of what the first round of NBA playoffs will look like:
WESTERN CONFERENCE:
#1 Mavericks vs #8 Clippers/Warriors — Warriors are up a game with a game to play (at Portland); the Clips own the tie-break and host the Hornets tonight. The Warriors haven't made the playoffs since 1995, when Richard Nixon was president.
#2 Suns vs #7 Lakers — A rematch of last year's seven-game thriller full of bad blood and last-second wins. Only this year, the Suns have Amare' (Mr. Stoudemire, if you're nasty).
#3 Spurs vs #6 Nuggets — The Pete Sampras of Basketball will match its plodding style with the gelling, fast-paced Nuggets. If only Denver could play on a clay court, they'd have it made.
#4 Jazz vs #5 Rockets — The finally-healthy Rockets will have home-court for this one. I don't want to say the Jazz don't stand a chance, but… they really don't.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Ha. Like it matters.
How exactly 37-year-old Sam Cassell can score 35 points in an NBA game is kind of a mystery, but he did it anyway, hitting two late free throws to cap his performance and lead the Clips to a 96-95 win over the Nuggets.
Carmelo Anthony got ejected after his second technical foul in the 3rd quarter, and that may have cost Denver the game. 'Melo is kind of the guy you want to be taking the last-second shot when you're down by one. Instead, the Nuggets turned to Earl Boykins. Don't get me wrong: Earl Boykins is a good basketball player, and an excellent backup point guard. But asking him to hit the game-winner over Elton Brand is like asking me to come through with a funny post before I've had any caffeine.
Which explains why this post sucks. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the coffeehouse. And by "coffeehouse" I mean "meth lab."
