Los Angeles Angels first baseman Kendry Morales earned a seat next to Bill Gramatica at the Whoops Table Saturday after hitting a walk-off grand slam against the Seattle Mariners, only to break his leg crossing home plate in celebration with his waiting teammates. Team doctors announced late yesterday that the team’s leader in homeruns (11) and RBI (39) has already suffered a setback, as they cannot conduct surgery until the swelling subsides. Despite the severity of the injury, manager Mike Scioscia believes that Morales will be back before the end of the regular season.

Easy on the group hugs, Fox Sports:

Morales was scheduled to undergo surgery Sunday but doctors decided to wait until swelling subsides.

Scioscia said he didn’t believe it would be a season-ending injury for the 26-year-old first baseman, based on what the club has been told.

Before Sunday’s game, Scioscia met with his players behind closed doors and talked to them about such celebrations.

The Angels also won Sunday night’s game with a three-run walk-off homerun, but this time Howie Kendrick’s teammates waited in foul territory to congratulate him after he calmly crossed home plate. Scioscia said from here on out his team will refrain from celebrating victories completely, adding, “If the Cubs can do it, why can’t we?” Read the rest of this entry »

Garret Anderson drove in ten runs as the Angels beat the Yankees wait TEN RBI?  He had ten RBI.  Holy crap.  Only 12 people in history have ever done that.  Think about that.  Fewer people have, like, walked on the moon or been president.  More people have enjoyed According to Jim than driven in double-digit runs in a major league game.  Pretty impressive, and it takes a lot for me to say that because I fucking hate the Angels.

Anyway, Anderson got it done with a two-run double in the first, an RBI double in the second, a three-run homer in the third, and a grand slam in the sixth.  He also turned in a complete choke job in the 8th inning, when he blew a chance to break the major league record for RBI in a game when he grounded out with two men on base with the score 18-5.  What a cowardly choke artist.

The Yankees, for their part, appeared to try part of the night, scoring four runs in the top of the ninth before getting sent home.  Alex Rodriguez had two solo home runs to push his major league-leading total to 42.  Mike Mussina gave up seven earned runs in 1.2 innings to take the loss.

Other MLB scores: Carlos Beltran drives in mere 5 runs in Mets' win over Padres. Pussy… Pretty much everyone on the team homers as Rockies pound Pirates 9-2… Tribe musters just one hit off rookie Jair Jurrjens (Jergens?) as Tigers hang tight in AL Central.

Chone Figgins capped a 6-for-6 evening by hitting a game-winning triple in the bottom of the ninth as the Angels rallied to beat the Astros 10-9.  LA ace John Lackey got chased in the fifth, and the Astros led 9-4 at the seventh inning stretch, but the Astros suck, so there you are.

In a related story, the acceptable ways to spell the name pronounced "shon" are Shawn, Shaun, and Sean.  "Chone" is just a consonant switch away from "Choad."  You're on notice, Figgins.  If my parents were too stupid to spell my first name, I'd at least have the common decency (or shame) to go by my middle name.

Other MLB scores: Curt Schilling pitched like crap and got the loss against the Braves despite a mysterious power output from Coco Crisp, who hit two homers… Prince Fielder's 26th home run lifted the Brewers over the Giants, who are seriously the most ancient fucking team in baseball.  Bonds, Vizquel, Ray Durham, Randy Winn — it's a great lineup 8 years ago… The Indians are obviously exhausted from playing non-stop since the snowed-out series in April, beating Cole Hamels and the Phillies 10-1.

This you just hate to see.  It's like white guys in Patriots jackets can hardly get along with the legions of white guys in black North Face fleeces and faded Red Sox caps.  Mass-on-Mass crime is tearing apart our Red Sox Nation. 

Cheers to the brilliant work by NESN commentators Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo.  That's how you call a baseball game: by laughing at people hit with flying slices of pizza. 

Add Gary Matthews to the list of obvious steroid users who will never be officially convicted of any cheating. The Angels, justifiably eager to get out of the idiotic five-year, $50-million contract they gave Matthews over the off-season, recently learned that they're SOL:

After an initial review, lawyers advising the Angels have indicated the team probably would not have grounds to void the contract of outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. even if prosecutors can prove he received an illegal shipment of human growth hormone. In the absence of a criminal conviction, the Angels probably could not void the contract, even if they would want to do so, according to two highly placed baseball sources.

Okay, so the Angels are still looking good. All they need is a criminal conviction… except Matthews hired Robert Shapiro, best known as OJ Simpson's defense attorney.

So there you go. If history has taught us anything, it's that Matthews will never get convicted of anything, even though he murdered his ex-wife and her friend in cold blood.

Pictured: Kim Kardashian, whose father, Robert Kardashian, worked with Shapiro on the Simpson case. So: totally relevant.