After the Denver Broncos lost to the Oakland Raiders in Week 1, a fan hit the message boards and vowed to take advantage of 1980s family road trip advertising strategies by erecting two billboards in downtown Denver, showcasing his demand for new coach John Fox to make Tim Tebow the starting quarterback. Some other Broncos fans – presumably interstate truck drivers – offered to chip in some cash for the $10,000 that they would need for this ridiculous idea.

Well, two weeks later and a 1-2 record, Tebow still isn’t starting and Fox doesn’t give a pony’s pecker what a couple fans think. And the fans who said they were going to raise those billboards never did. Another fan, though, stole their unoriginal idea and the billboards are now alive and everything you could have ever imagined.

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The Denver Broncos have been the talk of the town throughout the first 2 weeks of the NFL season, but it’s not because they’re good or terrible or anything fundamental like that. It’s because fans have grown tiresome of perfectly able and average quarterback Kyle Orton and are demanding that new coach John Fox begin the Tim Tebow era immediately. Well the Tebow era has begun, friends, and all is glorious for Denver once again.

Oh, I should mention that the Tebow era has begun at wide receiver. I think that’s a pretty important tidbit. The Broncos’ receiving corp has more sore groins than a Kate Upton strip tease, after Brandon Lloyd was declared out for the game and Eddie Royal suffered a groin injury in the second quarter. That left sophomore Eric Decker as the go-to guy and it forced Fox to put Tebow into the lineup as a wideout. He ended with 0 receptions for 0 yards, and was clearly the guiding force in Denver’s win over the Cincinnati Bengals.

Meanwhile, the fans who claim to have raised $10,000 for two pro-Tebow billboards in downtown Denver can put their money to better use, like new crotches for Lloyd and Royal.

Despite passing for 304 yards and a touchdown in Monday night’s 23-20 loss to the Oakland Raiders, Kyle Orton has invoked the fury of the Denver boo birds. Orton, who threw one interception and lost a fumble on a key drive, had fans chanting, “We want Tebow” late in the game, and now some Broncos fans are taking their determination to oust Orton and his neck beard in favor of Tim Tebow, even though he’s not even the backup.

A Broncos fan in Kentucky posted on a message board that he’d like to purchase two billboards in downtown Denver to show the fan demand for new coach John Fox to name Tebow the starter. Jesse Oaks claims that a number of fans have chipped in to afford the $10,000 for the two prehistoric forms of advertising, and they’re moving ahead with their diabolical plan.

“We believe in Coach Fox. We’re just tired of Kyle Orton,” Oaks said. “We were sitting around after Fox said he didn’t hear the chants for (Tim) Tebow and we figured if he’s deaf, we hope he’s not blind.”

“It just feels like we’re a team that’s settling for mediocrity,” Oaks said. “We’re not blind. We know when we see good football.

“We see other teams making good plays and we don’t see that from our team. We can sink or swim with Tim Tebow. Why wait a few more years?” (Via The Denver Post)

Fox, of course, claims that he never heard the chants, but when asked about the billboard threat he was pretty much dead on.

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When the Miami Dolphins and Denver Broncos failed to reach an agreement on a trade for Kyle Orton, two things happened: 1) Chad Henne fell ass backwards into another year as the de facto starter for Miami, and B) Tim Tebow possibly lost his job as the starter in Denver. Thankfully, both professional athletes have responded to their respective situations like men. And I’m just kidding, because they’re both big babies.

Some fans at a recent Dolphins practice began chanting, “We want Orton” when Henne took the field, and the guy who is allergic to throwing to Brandon Marshall didn’t like that very much.

“Deep down inside, it does hurt,” Henne said of the “We want Orton!” chants. “Obviously you want the respect of the fans and you want them to have your back. If you’re a Miami Dolphins fan, hopefully you’re cheering for the Miami Dolphins and the players out there, not somebody that’s not here.” (CBS Sports)

First of all, take my word as a Miami Dolphins fan – we suck. We’re complete dicks, and we bitch and piss and moan about everything. We learned it from New York Jets fans. But as far as it hurting? Man up, Sally. You think the fans are going to lay off because you say it hurts? Maybe try this new thing called getting better. It starts with confidence and it ends with victories, something Miami fans are growing tired of not having.

As for Tebow, we already know what Merril Hoge thinks, and he’s probably not alone, but Broncos fans don’t want to hear that because they’ve been drinking the same Kool-Aid that Gainesville has been brewing for the past 6 years. The fact remains that Orton is a proven starter, and the job is probably his when Week 1 begins. So did Tebow tip his cap to the veteran in front of him and vow to learn from him and earn his starting role like all good QBs do? No. He bitched about it.

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As hard as you try, it’s hard to hate nearly-aborted Denver Broncos quarterback and college football hugging legend Tim Tebow. His religious beliefs make him one of the ten most influential athletes in the world and he always seems affable, even when talking about growing up with missionaries and sponsoring orphanages. So outside of longstanding, biased college football rivalries and Derek Jeter style TIM TEBOW SUCKS talk, who could develop thorough enough of a mean-on for Tebow to crack that Average White Boy persona and hurt his feelings? Who could do it well enough that one of the most hated people in sports (and one of the most beloved, because that’s how it works) would think you’ve gone too far and stick up for him?

Enter: Merril Hoge, former running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers, current ESPN football analyst and 183rd Pokémon. Merril has taken to Twitter and ESPN radio to but Tebow “on full blast”, and while it doesn’t read as the most literate thing in the world, Hoge is a football authority and what he says has some weight behind it. The “Tebow Thing” evolved into a monster of bickering fan support and 100+ retweets, and sometime around Hoge saying Tebow doesn’t “poses [sic] a skill set”, Miami Heat star LeBron James started chiming in. And you don’t need me to tell you that LeBron James “chiming in” usually kills the conversation.

To make the transition from Twitter to Twitter easier for you to read, please enjoy the Tim Tebow Sucks argument through the fingertips of the men who lived it.

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In what slowly developed into the most boring and worthless trade saga of this lockout-shortened NFL offseason, the Miami Dolphins finally told the Denver Broncos to F off in regard to Kyle Orton. Various outlets reported that the Dolphins wanted to send two late draft picks to Denver much like the Minnesota Vikings did for Donovan McNabb (two 6th rounders), but Denver wanted compensation along the lines of what the Arizona Cardinals gave for Kevin Kolb (Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie and a 2nd rounder).

Gee, which option did the Dolphins choose for a guy whose offensive numbers came mostly from playing behind?

[Matt] Moore, who spent the previous three seasons with the Carolina Panthers, arrives in Miami today to sign a contract worth $5 million with incentives that could push it as high as $7.5 million.

The incentives are mostly playing-time based, which means Moore would have to unseat incumbent starter Chad Henne, who threw for 3,301 yards and 15 scores while leading the Dolphins to a 7-9 record. (Via Oregon Live and PFT)

This story is boring, I know, but I’m using it to point out that nothing has changed. The lockout may have resolved the Collective Bargaining Agreement issues and ensured the league’s future for the next decade, but it didn’t do anything to solve the stupidity. Arizona gave up a good defensive player and a 2nd rounder for a guy who is unproven, and then they paid him $22 million in guaranteed coin. That’s a brand new precedent set, and Denver bit on it. Of course, it bit Denver in the ass, too, but just wait until Philadelphia signs Vince Young and then trades him next year. All over again.