When the St. Louis Cardinals knocked off the heavily-favored Washington Nationals in the 2012 MLB National League Division Series, it made sense that some fans would be upset. After all, no team can be loved by 100% of baseball fans, not even the classier and more intelligent Cardinals, who are more realistically loved by 98% of fans. But it seems that some Nationals fans have indeed held a grudge against the senior circuit’s perennial underdogs-turned-heroes, and that seething hatred has led to one of the most creative artist’s renderings of a blossoming rivalry that we may ever see.

Created by Reddit user “nats13” – I believe that may be an homage to his favorite baseball team, but my fact checkers are still looking into that – the above portrait features such Nationals stars as Jayson Werth, Tyler Clippard and Kurt Suzuki attacking the Cardinals with an army of laser-equipped dinosaurs. The accuracy is stunning, as the Nats and their powerful army that includes a T-Rex, brontosaurus and pterodactyls are more powerful and advantageous.

However, the underwhelming Cardinals are also well-suited by the stegosaurus and triceratops, which are both noted by historians as the scrappiest and most-efficient dinosaurs. Or I just made that up. Either way, I’m probably going to spend the rest of my day watching Dino Riders.

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Here’s the recap from Larry Brown Sports, which is so understated it might as well read “baseball game was arranged and performed”.

The Astros and Nats were tied at 4 in the 11th when Kurt Suzuki attempted to move Roger Bernadina up from first to second on a sac bunt. He got much more than he expected thanks to some embarrassingly sloppy fielding from the Astros.

I guess it’s hard to write “a guy bunted and the Astros jammed their fingers into each others’ asses until they lost the game” and feel okay about it. Seriously, I’ve sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of a time when I’ve seen a worse play in baseball, professional or Pony League T-Ball or otherwise, and I can’t do it. Even that picture is confusing. In one tiny little square you get every explanation for the Astros being the worst team in baseball, and for their 4-31 streak heading into this Futility Armageddon moment.

This is the kind of thing people put into movies about bad baseball teams in the opening montage so you’ll feel happy for them when they stop squatting and farting on the field. Get it together, Astros.

UPDATE: Here’s the Benny Hill version, by request.

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