Canadian fans mercilessly went after Alex Rodriguez this weekend, flashing pictures of Madonna to distract him.  I can't even imagine the mildly impolite things they said to him.  "Hey, A-Rod, why don't you go hold Madonna's hand, eh?"  "Have a safe trip back to New York, you hoser!"  "I'm holding a photograph of someone you probably didn't sleep with!  Look over here!"  "You're aboot to strike out!"

Brutal.  Just brutal, Canadia.  Next time you should really let him have it by throwing cotton balls at him.  Wet cotton balls!  Then he'll KNOW you mean business!

(FYI, A-Rod in Toronto: 4-for-13, with three RBI and his 537th career home run to pass Mickey Mantle.  The Yankees dropped two of three.)

[Daily Stab] 

As the story of Alex Rodriguez's impending divorce gains steam, the Boston Herald's write-up of a stripper tattling about her supposed affair with A-Rod is a completely dubious story, but compelling nonetheless.  There's nothing to verify Candice Houlihan's claim that she twice bedded Rodriguez in 2004, but it certainly is salacious.  (What a great day for journalism in America.  I never thought one of our papers could ever reach the acclaimed level of "sleazy British tabloid tell-all."  Bra-vo.)  Candy's story:

Houlihan said A-Rod had a couple of shots of tequila and a few Sex on the Beach cocktails [Get. The fuck. Out. -Ed.], then they went back to A-Rod’s room at the Ritz-Carlton and had sex. But, she added, they also talked all night and seemed to hit it off. “I told him I was a basketball player in high school and we talked a lot about that,” she said. “It’s a little weird because he was a really nice guy.”

Houlihan said she and her girlfriends Googled A-Rod the next day and she was shocked to find out that his wife was pregnant with their first child. “We were all freaking out,” she said.

The affair took an obvious emotional toll on Houlihan (pictures of her here):

"It was killing me and I felt bad afterwards,” she said. “I’m not a bad person. I know how it feels to be cheated on, it sucks. But a couple of drinks later, I didn’t notice all that much, to tell you the truth.” [...] But when A-Rod called her when he was in town for the American League Championship Series, Candice met him and they had sex again. (Although this time he didn’t let her stay the night.)

You know, I expect this kind of tattling to the gossip rags from low-life scum like hookers.  But a stripper engaging in morally questionable behavior?  Why, that threatens my belief in the established order of the world!  (p.s. Does anyone have any blow?  I think Mercedes might be about to leave me.)

In a shocking move predicted by everyone, Cynthia Rodriguez has filed for divorce from Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez.  Apparently she felt "banging strippers" violated some part of their marital agreement.  Prude.

She alleged infidelity in her Miami-Dade County Family Court filing. She said Rodriguez has "emotionally abandoned his wife and children." "The marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the Husband's extra marital affairs and other marital misconduct," it said in the divorce filing…

In the divorce papers, C-Rod asked for primary custody of the couple's two children as well as financial support to maintain their "lavish lifestyle," including sole ownership of their [$12 million waterfront] Coral Gables, Fla., home and "equitable assets" of A-Rod's earnings during their marriage.  A-Rod earns $28 million a year as a third baseman for the Yankees.

What a bad break for A-Rod.  What if Cynthia takes him to the cleaners?  How's a man supposed to live off of 14 million dollars a year?  Why, he may have to get a job in the offseason — and he never went to college!  Have fun working the sour cream gun at Taco Bell.  Chop-chop.  That burrito ain't gonna get Supreme all by itself.

Sad news from New York last night, as widely beloved slugger Alex Rodriguez has reportedly split from wife Cynthia.  The news comes on the heels of rumors about A-Rod's relationship with Madonna and the bonus rumor that Cynthia is off in Paris hooking up with Lenny Kravitz.  It also comes a year after A-Rod was caught flying his private stripper around the country to meet him, so if it's cool with everyone I'm gonna go ahead and not be all that surprised by this story. 

Who will A-Rod date now?  I say one of the broads on American Gladiators.  Although I'd give him more style points if he stole Jose Canseco's girlfriend.

I really, really wanted to ignore this, but US Weekly has run with yesterday's baseless, unsubstantiated rumor from OK! Magazine and made it… well, slightly substantiated.  It's a rumor that's so powerful and potentially untruthy that people can only say it in the form of a question: are Alex Rodriguez and Madonna engaging in the grotesquely muscled low-body-fat sex of the uber-wealthy?  The answer is a definitive… maybe.

A source tells Us that the $28-million-a-year Rodriguez, 32, has made numerous solo nighttime visits to Madonna, 49, at her spacious home and would sneak out "as late as midnight." Says the source, "All the doormen are talking."

Rodriguez attended Madonna's April 30 NYC concert; the singer sat in his seats at a Yankees game on June 22 (it was the first time she ever was photographed at a Yankees game).

Even though it seems impossible that a good-looking, wealthy man like A-Rod — or anyone with eyes — would be attracted to Madonna, this rumor seems to have some traction because A-Rod supposedly digs muscular chicks, and gossipy people like talking about the Jose Canseco connection.  I think it makes perfect sense.  Gay men LOVE Madonna.

As first revealed in a recent ESPN article, Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez and and all-time hits leader/MLB outcast Pete Rose have an unusual friendship: they regularly text message each other.

Rose has served as an electronic hitting coach of sorts for Rodriguez since the two met at a Las Vegas mall in January of 2006. Rodriguez sat with Rose while Rose signed autographs, asking about Rose's career, and when he left, A-Rod said, "Text me – let's talk hitting." [...]

During the 2006 season, Rodriguez lost Rose's cell phone number and they finally reconnected while A-Rod was in a slump. Rose texted: "See if you can knock the pitcher's head off. Go the other way. Pete." A-Rod homered twice and singled in the next game. Rose texted: "You're coachable, brother. Pete."

Dawwww that's sweet.  Of course, Rose lives in Las Vegas, so you'd think maybe he could do a better job of coming through on advice for which kinds of strippers to take home.  Actually, I could probably give that advice out, too.  Step 1: Make sure she looks like a woman.  Once A-Rod mastered that one, we could move on to Step 2.