Yesterday, the fine folks at ESPN proved that they’re capable of more than throwing large sums of money at Skip Bayless to pretend that he knows about sports, when they posted the above picture to the College GameDay Facebook page. Within the seconds, the Internet exploded. In fact, if Twitter was a squirter, you’d still be clinging to your life on a broken slab of wood.

Thankfully, we’re all dry and some of us even have Photoshop, so obviously people were going to have fun with this one. It’s just a spectacular photo, this batsh*t old man and his giant rubber ducky. Granted, I’d rather have Samantha Steele in floaties, maybe splashing Erin Andrews, but we take what we can get.

I could have spent a day making dozens of pictures, but I’m already on my way to my own rubber ducky in the Caribbean, so you’ll have to settle for one above average original and my two favorite responses from the Interwebs’ best evil geniuses.

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Kirk Herbstreit is the hunky third of the College Gameday triumvirate — he’s certainly not on the show for his brains — and it seems he cares deeply about maintaining that image.  Busted Coverage says:

An (unnamed) industry source told us a great story this week about Kirk Herbstreit being disappointed how his picture turned out on the side of the ESPN GameDay bus. [...]

Herbstreit complained and ESPN did the logical [thing] and had the wrap removed for a new, lighter version of Frosted Tips. The new picture made its debut at the USC game.

Someone in the art department at ESPN deserves a promotion, because that is some awesome work.  Now instead of looking like a guy who sleeps in a tanning bed, he looks like a guy who sleeps in a tanning bed wearing whiteface.

For no reason whatsoever, here's Alex Rodriguez with the new Menudo in the Bronx last week.  This was, I think, at an event to honor Babe Ruth.  Because nothing honors baseball's greatest hero like a retread of a Hispanic '80s boy band.

But wait, isn't that the new new Menudo?  I thought this was the new Menudo.  Meanwhile, Ricky Martin will be at the Tower Records in Des Moines tomorrow if anyone wants to get a picture with him. It's not an official event or anything, he's just kinda lonely.

[Part of an excellent gallery at SI.com] 

With millions of dollars at stake in his upcoming divorce, Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez is keeping a low profile with his romantic life.  By which I mean he's taking various women out for dinners and drinks in different cities.

A-Rod stepped out with a mystery blonde last Wednesday night, starting with a cozy dinner at Dan Marino's [followed by drinks at Bougainvillea] in South Beach… As they got up to leave around 1 a.m., the duo seemed surprised to be greeted by a photographer's flash…

Once spotted, the gallant A-Rod ran across the street, "trying to make out like he wasn't with her," said the source. Realizing that witnesses weren't buying the ploy, Rodriguez said, "This is nothing. She's an old friend of mine. Leave us alone." They then got into his Mercedes and sped off into the Miami night.

What a charmer.  Girls love it when you're terrified to be seen in public them.  Running across the street is almost as good as shoving her into the nearest storefront and putting on a fake mustache.

Back in New York on Sunday night, Rodriguez hit the roof of Soho House with a tall Asian beauty with "good hair," sources report… Just after 11 p.m., his date made her way downstairs, with A-Rod following a few minutes behind her. Then they jumped into a hybrid SUV cab and took off.

Hmmm… tall Asian beauty?  Well, Yao Ming's at the Olympics, so it can't be him.  And he doesn't have good hair.  But what about the Asian's biceps?  Did she have huge guns?  It's not gonna work out unless she can curl 45s.

Hey everybody, be nice to Alex Rodriguez.  The man's going through tough times, what with his divorce and the endless media scrutiny.  He's just a regular guy like you and me.

The Bronx Bomber dropped a bundle at Barneys Beverly Hills. "He bought sweaters, including a bunch of cashmere zip-up hooded sweatshirts that were about $1,200 each," said our spy. "It was around $50,000 total, a lot of it from Italian designer Brunello Cucinelli." A-Rod avoided the sales floor and had the sweaters brought to him in a VIP area.

Oh thank goodness Barney's Beverly Hills has a VIP area.  Otherwise the obscenely rich people might have to mingle with the lowlifes who are merely upper-upper-class.  And do you know how frustrating it can be to walk around and look for clothes?  I hate that.  I mean, is it so much to ask to just have everything I want materialize in front of me?  Here, just take my credit card and charge a couple years' tuition at a private university, I'm tired of brushing elbows with commoners.

Here are a couple videos for the three or four people out there who have an internet connection but no cable TV.  Above is Joel McHale of The Soup commenting on Alex Rodriguez's ex-stripper hookup (this one, not this one), after the Boston-area skank admitted to being a "Yankee Skank."  Oh, those are the worst kind.

After the jump, Jon Stewart riffs on Barack Obama's three-pointer in front of some soldiers during his tour of the Middle East.  It's obviously a little more politic-y than sporty, but I thought it was funny, and that's good enough for me.  If you don't like it, please take the following steps: 1. Hand-write me a long letter of complaint.  2. Roll paper into a very tight tube shape.  3.  Jam that paper up your urethra, because no one gives a shit about your complaints.

[Soup vid via Sports by Brooks]