Kirk Herbstreit is the hunky third of the College Gameday triumvirate — he’s certainly not on the show for his brains — and it seems he cares deeply about maintaining that image.  Busted Coverage says:

An (unnamed) industry source told us a great story this week about Kirk Herbstreit being disappointed how his picture turned out on the side of the ESPN GameDay bus. [...]

Herbstreit complained and ESPN did the logical [thing] and had the wrap removed for a new, lighter version of Frosted Tips. The new picture made its debut at the USC game.

Someone in the art department at ESPN deserves a promotion, because that is some awesome work.  Now instead of looking like a guy who sleeps in a tanning bed, he looks like a guy who sleeps in a tanning bed wearing whiteface.

For no reason whatsoever, here's Alex Rodriguez with the new Menudo in the Bronx last week.  This was, I think, at an event to honor Babe Ruth.  Because nothing honors baseball's greatest hero like a retread of a Hispanic '80s boy band.

But wait, isn't that the new new Menudo?  I thought this was the new Menudo.  Meanwhile, Ricky Martin will be at the Tower Records in Des Moines tomorrow if anyone wants to get a picture with him. It's not an official event or anything, he's just kinda lonely.

[Part of an excellent gallery at SI.com] 

With millions of dollars at stake in his upcoming divorce, Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez is keeping a low profile with his romantic life.  By which I mean he's taking various women out for dinners and drinks in different cities.

A-Rod stepped out with a mystery blonde last Wednesday night, starting with a cozy dinner at Dan Marino's [followed by drinks at Bougainvillea] in South Beach… As they got up to leave around 1 a.m., the duo seemed surprised to be greeted by a photographer's flash…

Once spotted, the gallant A-Rod ran across the street, "trying to make out like he wasn't with her," said the source. Realizing that witnesses weren't buying the ploy, Rodriguez said, "This is nothing. She's an old friend of mine. Leave us alone." They then got into his Mercedes and sped off into the Miami night.

What a charmer.  Girls love it when you're terrified to be seen in public them.  Running across the street is almost as good as shoving her into the nearest storefront and putting on a fake mustache.

Back in New York on Sunday night, Rodriguez hit the roof of Soho House with a tall Asian beauty with "good hair," sources report… Just after 11 p.m., his date made her way downstairs, with A-Rod following a few minutes behind her. Then they jumped into a hybrid SUV cab and took off.

Hmmm… tall Asian beauty?  Well, Yao Ming's at the Olympics, so it can't be him.  And he doesn't have good hair.  But what about the Asian's biceps?  Did she have huge guns?  It's not gonna work out unless she can curl 45s.

Hey everybody, be nice to Alex Rodriguez.  The man's going through tough times, what with his divorce and the endless media scrutiny.  He's just a regular guy like you and me.

The Bronx Bomber dropped a bundle at Barneys Beverly Hills. "He bought sweaters, including a bunch of cashmere zip-up hooded sweatshirts that were about $1,200 each," said our spy. "It was around $50,000 total, a lot of it from Italian designer Brunello Cucinelli." A-Rod avoided the sales floor and had the sweaters brought to him in a VIP area.

Oh thank goodness Barney's Beverly Hills has a VIP area.  Otherwise the obscenely rich people might have to mingle with the lowlifes who are merely upper-upper-class.  And do you know how frustrating it can be to walk around and look for clothes?  I hate that.  I mean, is it so much to ask to just have everything I want materialize in front of me?  Here, just take my credit card and charge a couple years' tuition at a private university, I'm tired of brushing elbows with commoners.

Here are a couple videos for the three or four people out there who have an internet connection but no cable TV.  Above is Joel McHale of The Soup commenting on Alex Rodriguez's ex-stripper hookup (this one, not this one), after the Boston-area skank admitted to being a "Yankee Skank."  Oh, those are the worst kind.

After the jump, Jon Stewart riffs on Barack Obama's three-pointer in front of some soldiers during his tour of the Middle East.  It's obviously a little more politic-y than sporty, but I thought it was funny, and that's good enough for me.  If you don't like it, please take the following steps: 1. Hand-write me a long letter of complaint.  2. Roll paper into a very tight tube shape.  3.  Jam that paper up your urethra, because no one gives a shit about your complaints.

[Soup vid via Sports by Brooks] 

Yesterday the New York Daily News and Post both had gossip round-ups of all the parties hosted by New York baseball players.  Both papers agree: famous people went to parties.  The Daily News bit seems more fact-based and less salacious, so let's go with the Post:

Alex Rodriguez's teammates must wish they could divorce him too. "He's become a huge distraction with the Madonna fiasco," a source told Page Six. "It's always all about him." That explains why none of his fellow Yankees went to the All-Star bash he hosted at Jay-Z's 40/40 Club Monday night. Instead, his mommy, Lourdes, and his new best friends, Guy Oseary and Ingrid Casares, were by his side in a corner booth as he threw back shots. And Casares was then spotted leaving A-Rod's Park Avenue pad yesterday afternoon….

Over at Marquee, the more likable Derek Jeter threw a bash filled with pals like Billy Crystal and Michael Jordan. Jeter also brought his latest fling, Minka Kelly. They came in separately, but a spy said they were "very much together on the dance floor."

Meanwhile, Mets third baseman David Wright hosted a Vitamin Water party at Hudson Terrace, where Blake Lively, Penn Badgley, Paul Rudd and Yankee pitcher Joba Chamberlain listened to a midnight performance by 50 Cent.

And hey, lookie here.  It's Blake Lively at that Vitamin Water party!  Now, why would I include a bunch of pictures unrelated from the main focus of the story?  Well, that's an easy one: I'm tired of looking at Jeter and A-Rod's stupid fucking faces.  I hope everyone's okay with my decision.