We write about a lot of stupid kids at With Leather — the little girl who held fish over a dolphin tank and stopped paying attention, kids who let soccer players wipe boogers on their faces, kids who don’t keep their head up at hockey camp and whimpery little baseball kids who cry to get what they want among them — so it’s nice to occasionally take a step back and remember that there are kids in the world who have it together, and could straight-up kickbox you to death.

Case in point: Reshat Mati, a kid who is 13-years old and good enough at murdering you that adults (adults!) call him THE ALBANIAN BEAR. You know, the kind of nickname you get when you’ve garroted somebody with piano wire in the background of an episode of ‘The Wire.’

From The Show PRODIGIES – They take you inside the gritty, adrenaline-fueled world of youth boxing and martial arts. Meet Reshat Mati, known as the Albanian bear. At thirteen years old, Reshat is already a world champion kickboxer, muay thai fighter and grappler, and a United States National Silver Gloves boxing champion. (via MMA TKO)

Also impressive is this kid’s collection of “like 22″ championship belts, including one that says NAGA NORTH AMERICAN GRAPPLING CHAMPION but is pretty clearly Ric Flair’s “Big Gold” World Heavyweight Championship:

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"Kickpuncher" is always relevant.

It is the year 2006 A.D and nuclear war has ravaged the planet… sorry, anytime kickboxing is brought up, my mind automatically shifts to Kickpuncher, the fake movie that should be real. Thankfully, we can get our heartwarming kickboxing news out of the way this week with a video of a championship bout between two best friends. But before any of you Hollywood types starts going bonkers trying to purchase the rights, let me make a few points:

1) We already had Warrior last year, and that was a decent enough movie. The unwritten law of feel-good fighting movies is that we should have at least one year between productions. Sure, that’s my rule, but trust me, it’s a good one.

B) We don’t really know much about this video, so they could have agreed to make the match quick and presumably painless for the sake of collecting and splitting the winnings. Let’s not go honoring these bros until we know that they were legitimate.

III) They should both have smoking hot sisters who are roommates in college. *wink wink, nudge nudge*

I know, I don’t know how I’m not a studio executive either.

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Some things are just naturally funny. “Drunk people who fall down so hard they look like they got dragged across the room by a giant vacuum” and “people who do bad karate to punching bags and end up hurting themselves” are two big ones, so this clip of a guy throwing some Muay Thai knees to a heavy bag and eating floor is pretty much amazing. He bobs his shoulders like a bad-ass (or something) and then gets yanked into the darkness like some Tony Jaa remake of Paranormal Activity. All it needed was somebody throwing up and it would’ve been the first two minutes of next week’s “Tosh.0″.

I also love that his name is “Geoff”, which is such an aborted spelling of “Jeff” that it makes him read like a Street Fighter character.

[h/t Buzzfeed]

Sometimes we come across videos that have no description other than “zOMG TH1S GUY GOT R0cK3D!” and it doesn’t matter, because it’s the quality of the meat, not which cow it came from. In the clip below, we have what seems to be a traditional kickboxing match, since there are no hands dipped in glue and rolled in glass, and I also didn’t see anyone enter to a 15-minute video montage complete with an ACDC soundtrack. What I did see was a guy pull off a flawless 360 kick, landing his foot squarely across his opponent’s dome, dropping him instantly.

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This is Taiwanese Thai lighweight/flyweight that goes by the name of, if I can read the card here, Mapichit Sitsongpeenong, and he might be the scariest thing on two legs that I’ve ever seen. And I’ve been to Alabama. Sitsongpeenong can be seen here working out in prep for an upcoming fight (he uses four different sparring partners in a 36-minute session) throwing punches, kicks and knees, and I think he pulls out a whip towards the end and swings out of the gym. But just watch the first minute or so and you get the idea.

And this kid is sixteen years old. Maybe it’s good that America has a childhood obesity issue. Otherwise we’d be raising a nation of angry killing machines.

I'm not quite sure what the point of me writing text is when the video is just a kid getting awesomely kicked in the face, but here it is: a kid getting kicked in the face. 

What a terrific sport.  No, not kickboxing.  Kickboxing sucks.  I'm talking about the noble sport of kicking kids in the face.  It's a time-honored tradition that goes all the way back to that time I went to a playground during recess.

[Lieutenant Winslow]