With the NBA trade deadline just 7 days away, all of the media’s focus is on the big market teams and their needs, which begs the question – which chump teams are gonna get fleeced? The quick answer: probably none. The Orlando Magic currently have the 5th best record in the entire league, which absolutely baffles me after watching them stand still and take it hard against the 4-win Charlotte Bobcats the other night, but then that’s how the wonderful world of sports works. So they’re most likely not trading Dwight Howard, and every other team is stuck waiting to see what happens with that to make their own moves. Classic log jam, folks.

Common sense says that Orlando won’t get a Denver Nuggets-type haul at the deadline, so that means the Magic instead want to move some of their crap for another team’s lesser crap. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers sure could use some help, as could pretty much any team that isn’t the Chicago Bulls, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs or Miami Heat. Face it, your team is pretty much screwed.

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The American Mustache Institute has announced its list of 19 finalists for this year’s Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. Sadly, your elementary school lunch lady once again missed the cut. But the sporting world has some well-known names up for this fuzzy honor, including Minnesota Twins pitcher Carl Pavano, Sacramento mayor and former Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson, Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quenneville, Major League Baseball umpire Jim Joyce, and the UTEP Miners mascot, Paydirt Pete. Pete is also a nominee for the New Face of NAMBLA competition.

The AMI Goulet awards are not a contest of the greatest mustache, but rather the celebration of the person who best represents mustached Americans. You know, if you put it that way, I have to put my vote with Carl Pavano. Think about it – he took fat paychecks from a large American company to rarely show up for work, was eventually let go, and now he collects paychecks from a smaller American company just to spend the rest of his days on easy street. *wipes away single tear* That’s a gosh-darned American right there.

Rest of the fur-lipped nominees after the jump:

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Just what we need: another politician for Hope and Change. 

Former NBA star Kevin Johnson jumped into the Sacramento mayor's race Wednesday, announcing he will challenge three-term incumbent Heather Fargo in the municipal election in June.

"We need a change in the city and I believe we need a change now," Johnson said. "As I went out the last month and talked to people around the city, folks have said to me they believe city government is nonresponsive, tired, uninspired and bureaucratic. They want something different in Sacramento. (They're) clamoring for change."

Johnson has been very active in his hometown with private community renewal projects, revitalizing area neighborhoods and even turning his alma mater, Sacramento High School, into a successful charter school. But he may not be ready for the job. Dude didn't even take questions after his press conference. I mean, I could be in the midst of afterglow or just hobbling off the crapper, but I'm always down for a little Q&A. That's just part of the gig, baby. — Monday Morning Punter

[SportingNews.com]