TNT sideline announcer Craig Sager wore a particularly heinous suit this weekend — I mean, even for him – and Kevin Garnett rightly instructed him to burn the entire thing.

One thing about this clip stuck out to me, and it’s when KG says even Sager’s lime green thong needs to go.  And that reminded me of Sager’s epic Hugh-Hefner-meets-clown-from-It interview with DC Sports Bog this past summer.  That’s the one where he talked about loving Bud Light, blonds, Hooters restaurants, and — yes — wearing matching thongs.  My point is, Sager probably did burn that suit later that night.  Along with the hooker he strangled.

[Ball Don't Lie]

NBA — When LeBron James, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce combine for 16 points on 4-for-36 shooting, it just further puts into relief the whole "endless boondoggle" aspect of the NBA Playoffs. Apparently 'Bron hasn't found a 3-point shot he doesn't enjoy shooting off-balance, especially if he can complain to an official while he's doing it. Luckily Kevin Garnett was a factor in an otherwise miserable 76-72 win by the Celtics in Game 1 of their second round series against the Cavs. James missed the potentially tying lay-up, after taking seven steps or so in the lane, with 14 seconds remaining, then missed another awkward three as time expired for good measure to finish 2-of-18 from the field. It was the first time Allen has been held scoreless since 1997, when Rosario Dawson punked his ass on the set of He Got Game. 

MLB — Will Leitch was engorged as Rick Ankiel threw out two runners at third (one from the warning track) and homered to lead the Cardinals to a 6-5 win over the Rockies…Lance Berkman went 5-for-5 and scored four runs in the Astros' 6-5 win over the Nats…Mighty Joe Mauer and his man muscles break up Gavin Floyd's near-no-hitter in the 9th…the Blue Jays need some extra shortstops, stat!, after David Eckstein and John McDonald both left with injuries in the middle of their 5-4 loss to the Rays.

Celtics Kevin Garnett and James Posey were attacked by Chicago's Bennie the Bull during the Celts' win in Chicago last night, when the mascot's ingratiating capering included firing t-shirts from an air cannon at the stars.  Well, at the star and Posey.

The incident happened when Garnett and Posey were walking to the bench during a timeout with 2:49 remaining. Garnett and Posey gave Bennie the Bull a glare, and, said Garnett, "We exchanged words." Garnett was sent back to the bench by the referees after trying to explain what happened.

"I felt threatened," said Posey…"Two T-shirts were thrown at me and KG. I don't feel safe. The T-shirts were fired out of that gun or whatever. I feel a little sore in one spot. I might have to get treatment… Let's see how the league handles this."

I, too, would like to see the league handle this responsibly.  I recommend that Bennie be punished with an official eye-roll coupled with a stern wanking motion.

The Celtics snapped the Rockets' 22-game win streak (second-longest in NBA history, natch) last night with a 94-74 victory, and thank God for that.  The Rockets are nice and all, but they're not nearly interesting enough to write about every time they win.  I'd wake up every day ready to write about lesbian cheerleading scandals and be forced to write about the Rockets.  So with this over I can finally turn to what really matters: lesbian cheerleading scandals.  Umm, so if you know about any lesbian cheerleading scandals, I guess… let me know?

Oh, right: Celtics-Rockets.  Kevin Garnett (22/11) and Paul Pierce (20 points) led the way for the C's, and Leon Powe added 21 points in 20 minutes off the bench.  The rest of the game was the usual formula for Boston: stingy-as-fuck defense.

Elsewhere in the Association: Suns win 5th in a row… Lakers cough up big lead but hold on to win against Mavs… Nuggs follow up 168-point game with a defensive gem, allowing 136 against Detroit in a loss… Charles Barkley is still wearing mock turtlenecks.  What's that about?

Some basketball team from Charlotte went up to Massachusetts and actually defeated the Boston Globetrotters last night.  Jason Richardson was the key to the upset, shooting 14-of-22 in a 34-point, nine-rebound performance.  The Celtics, who fell to a league-best 29-4, were hindered by a poor shooting night from Paul Pierce, whose no-look hook shot from half court wasn't falling, and by Kevin Garnett, who drew a critical technical foul for pulling down the referee's pants during a timeout.

Elsewhere in the Association: The other Beast from the East, Detroit, also lost last night, falling 102-86 to Dirk and the Mavericks… Steve Nash left with the "stomach flu" (he's totally pregnant), but the Suns still rallied from a 16-point deficit to win in OT over Indiana.  Nash will rejoin the team after its game in Utah, right after he donates some stem cells, so to speak… Whoa, LeBron had an amazing game but his teammates suck?  Who could have ever predicted such an outcome?

The Boston Celtics were looking to bounce back from Wednesday's loss to the Pistons, and luckily, they were playing the Bulls:

"What you saw tonight was what we call 'stopping the bleeding,"' [Kevin Garnett] said after the Celtics beat Chicago 107-82 on Friday to stop their losing before it became a streak . . . "The loss to Detroit left a bad taste in our mouths," said [Paul] Pierce, who joined Garnett on the bench for the fourth quarter. "It didn't matter who we played tonight, we were going to come out and take it to them. It didn't matter who was in the building."

This game reminds me of the Irish epic, the Cattle-Raid of Cooley, where great Celtic heroes battle after the theft of a prized bull. Like the story, the Celtic champions displayed their expert skills throughout the match, but unlike the story, nobody gives a damn about any of the Bulls. And my father said studying ancient Irish literature was a waste of time and money. Let this be a lesson to you that even if you fail out of your pre-med program, you can still get paid in thimbles of whiskey for assistant editing a sports blog if you study the classic texts of Western Civilization. 

"You hope for more," [Bulls] coach Scott Skiles said, adding that he would look at the tape to make sure his team didn't give up. "It just seemed like we gave in to it a little bit. And against a team like that they are going to sense that, (and) you're going to be in trouble." 

I hope for more too when I watch tapes where people succumb without much of a fight. The near-strangulation porn industry isn't what it used to be. -KD