NBA 6th Man of the Year JR Smith said that if he hadn’t been suspended for Game 4 of the first round of the New York Knicks playoff matchup against the Boston Celtics, he’d be playing golf right now. That’s because the Knicks would have swept the Celtics, you see, but since he wasn’t there to hit a few shots and dance like a wild man in front of Louis CK, Boston won Game 4.

So it should have been over last night with Smith back for Game 5, right? WRONG, YOU FOOLS! The Celtics absolutely stymied the Knicks on defense, making Smith and NBA scoring leader Carmelo Anthony look downright foolish at times in a 92-86 victory that was not nearly as close as the score suggests.

Now, with the Celtics within one game of forcing this series to go the distance, you can imagine that things might be getting a little heated between these two bitter rivals. And it is, because sports are awesome.

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Funny how just yesterday I was complaining that I needed something to jumpstart my NBA excitement, and then one of the greatest imaginable fights breaks out between two guys who couldn’t be more disliked. In one corner, wearing flat black and silver with an open mouth and confused face, Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries was last year’s most hated player in the NBA, according to fans. In the other corner, wearing green and the ugliest scowl this side of Rosie O’Donnell, Boston Celtics guard Rajon Rondo is universally loathed in every city not spelled B-O-S-T-O-N. And last night, they GOT. IT. ONNNNNNNNN!

The action took place in the second quarter, when Kevin Garnett, guarded by Humphries, took an off-balance shot and ended up on the floor. Rondo didn’t like that very much, so he reacted like an adult and shoved Humphries into the first row of courtside seats. Then, as any mature professional athlete would do, Rondo started scratching and clawing at Humphries while their teammates tried to break it up. Oh, and the Nets won 95-83. That should probably be mentioned.

Go make some popcorn and check out the video after the jump. All it’s missing is Brittney Palmer.

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Last night marked the beginning of the 2012-13 NBA season, and it started pretty much the same way that I assume next season will begin – with the Miami Heat raising a banner. But I’ll save my season predictions for tomorrow and just stick to the highlights of what we saw in last night’s three games starting with the obvious – Steve Nash, WTF?

The Los Angeles Lakers point guard showed up to the Staples Center looking rather geeked up for his Hollywood debut, and he did not disappoint. Wait, yes he did. In fact, everyone on the Lakers except for Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol disappointed in one way or another. Scores, thoughts and bright, shining moments after the jump.

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Last week, I was giddy like a school girl when I saw that Jack McBrayer, AKA Kenneth from my favorite show, “30 Rock”, was following me on Twitter, because as someone who watches roughly 4-6 episodes of “30 Rock” each day, that would be pretty cool. Of course it was a fake account, with someone just pretending to be McBrayer, which led a few of us to wonder, “Who the f*ck pretends to be Jack McBrayer?” And the moral of this edition of #CoolStoryBro is that people on Twitter are f*cking weird.

Case in point, yesterday there were two huge “rumors” that blew up on Twitter regarding NBA Draft news. The first came yesterday afternoon via a Tweet:

Upon first glance, you’re probably thinking, “Holy crap, are the Celtics out of their f*cking minds?” And a lot of people thought that, because it was retweeted more than 1,100 times. But if you’re more adept and you actually read stuff before reacting, you’ll notice that A) Chris Broussard’s name is misspelled, and 2) the real Broussard has almost 500,000 followers. You’d think it would be pretty obvious.

But it wasn’t, as the rumor spread so far, so fast that it actually became a news story in Boston. People were ready to rip Danny Ainge’s body to pieces and send them to the corners of Massacusetts as a warning.

To quote the legendary rap group Onyx, B-B-B-BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE!

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I’m still crawling out of my vacation cocoon, so I’ve been thinking all day about which aspects of the incredible Eastern and Western Conference Finals series that I most wanted to talk about today. Right off the bat, there was last night’s incredible finish in San Antonio, as the Oklahoma City Thunder barely held off the Spurs in what was one of the most amazing and intense 3-minute stretches in recent memory.

Or we could discuss LeBron James and his whole “I don’t foul out” attitude as people heaped blame on him and Dwyane Wade for the Boston Celtics tying their series at 2 each with the Miami Heat the other night.

But I’d rather talk about my favorite thing about the entire playoffs so far – Rajon Rondo. Normally, I’m not much of a Rondo fan, because he seems like a dick. And from what I can tell from interviews and highlights, he is definitely a dick. Without that dick, though, the Celtics are already done and the Heat have their feet up, waiting for the Thunder and Spurs to kill each other.

So instead of going back and recapping everything that has happened, I just wanted to pay a little respect to Rondo with my favorite highlights of him through this ECF thus far, because he’s the only reason this series has been so entertaining.

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Dwyane Wade's greatest highlight.

If the San Antonio Spurs and Oklahoma City Thunder gave us The Avengers on Sunday, then the Miami Heat and Boston Celtics gave us, at best, Italian Spider-Man yesterday. Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals was as much of a dick-measuring contest as it was a basketball game, with the Celtics trying desperately to prove their “Big 3” could hang with Miami’s “Big 2 and That Other Guy Who Will Play Again Eventually” and the Heat proving they didn’t need that other guy to win.

The Heat rolled to an easy 93-79 victory, holding the Celtics to less than 20 points in the first, third and fourth quarters, but it’s also worth mentioning that the Celtics blew the Heat away in one specific category – technical fouls. Five to the Heat’s zero, to be specific. Hell, even Miami fans had to chuckle at the absurdity of this T on Doc Rivers. But aside from sparking a “David Stern wants the Heat to win” conversation – and by all means, have at it – I actually enjoyed the outstanding play of Dwyane Wade and LeBron James.

The pair combined for 54 points and plenty of individual highlights – my favorite probably being this exchange between James and Kevin Garnett – but I simply loved the deep pass by Wade to James because of the 8 zillion “quarterback controversy” jokes it launched. The Miami Dolphins are just way too easy to make fun of.

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