Well, friends, here we are. As the R&B quartet Boys II Men once crooned, “It’s the end of the road, and I something something something” and for the NCAA Tournament, we have indeed reached the end of the road with tonight’s championship game between the No. 1 Kentucky Wildcats and the No. 2 Kansas Jayhawks. Of course, these are the two teams that I picked to be in this title game since the beginning of the season, but I’m not here to brag.

I’ll be back at it for one last chat-stravaganza for tonight’s game, and unlike during Saturday’s action, I will have Internet access. Serious question – do the people who run Las Vegas intentionally want people to have no cell phone coverage? It was incredible how rarely I couldn’t find a signal to even Tweet about the random douchery that I witnessed and may have even possibly participated in.

But mainly, I wanted to convey the insanity of a Vegas sports book during one of the biggest days of the sports year, and it was pretty much what I expected – a bunch of old dudes and degenerates pouting and checking their senses of humor at the door. I dare any of you to go to a sports book in Vegas tonight and make jokes about Anthony Davis’ unibrow. You’ll get a handful of grunts and a few death stares, if they’re in a good mood.

As for the actual game itself – AKA the reason we’re all here – let’s break it down…

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You can barely notice the photoshopping.

I can’t believe the Final Four is already here. It seems like just yesterday I was telling my friends how Missouri was the most complete team and if the Tigers could get past Michigan State, then the championship was as good as theirs. That’s because that was yesterday, and I haven’t stopped bitching about how this stupid NCAA Tournament didn’t start properly and they should have started it over the moment that Norfolk State screwed everything up. Damn it, if I could re-start Contra because I didn’t enter the cheat code in time, then I should be able to demand that 600 student athletes postpone their studies for one more week for the sake of my mild gambling habits.

But that’s the power of the tourney, friends. Very little has made sense thus far, except that the Kentucky Wildcats are as unstoppable as everyone but Ashley Judd and a few hundred moonshine distributors want them to be. That’s not to say that this Final Four lacks excitement, though. Quite the opposite. Sure, I may only have one team left and I’m in dead last, but my viewing enjoyment shall be taken care of. More importantly, we’re all in for some excitement, which is why I’m back once again to display my incredible expert knowledge.

How much of an expert am I? Check my bracket for yourself.

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Welcome back, everyone. I hope you enjoyed last night’s first installment of the NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 and our Dummy’s Guide to sounding somewhat intelligent in the company of people who watch more college basketball than you. I went 2-for-4 with my picks from last night, as Syracuse and Florida won their games and Cincinnati and Michigan State really took massive horse dumps in their respective matchups. But I also technically rode the fence on each game enough that I can say I was 4-for-4.

What can I say, I’m an expert.

We’re back at it tonight, and I know it’s a Friday and all, but I’ll still be live chatting the action up from the handy dandy portable intelligent telephone. I’ll be at the Orlando Magic game, per the usual, which will make it all more fun. Make your predictions, quips and witticisms in the comments and there will be free t-shirts and possibly other surprises to be given out.

Admit it, you’re excited.

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For far too long, actress Ashley Judd has been the face of University of Kentucky men’s basketball fanfare, as the UK alum is often seen celebrating courtside or cheering with the student body during big games at Rupp Arena. But as nice as it is to see the younger and presumably adopted sister of Wynonna Judd get all the attention, it would still be refreshing to occasionally see some other fans share the spotlight for the Wildcats. Maybe like this girl or these girls. I’m not picky.

Despite being the clear favorites to win the SEC Tournament this weekend, the Wildcats sputtered and slipped, barely beating the Florida Gators 74-71 on Saturday and ultimately falling to the Vanderbilt Commodores 71-64. This result was clearly upsetting for a diehard UK fan like Judd, but in the aftermath of disappointment, the spotlight is finally moving.

After the jump, grab your Kleenex and open your heart to the new faces of Kentucky basketball.

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In our continuing effort to share with you the best in sports-centric hip-hop, please enjoy the opening lines of “Niggas in Paris” from Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Watch The Throne” collaboration. It is notable for two reasons: one, because it explicitly deals with New Jersey Nets minority owner Jay-Z’s visit to the Kentucky Wildcats lockeroom during the 2011 NCAA Tournament, a visit that violated NBA regulations and cost him 50-grand; two, because it is the best remake of a Joni Mitchell song ever.

Your lyrics of choice:

So I ball so hard motherf**kers want to fine me
First niggas got to find me
What’s 50 grand to a motherf**ker like me
Can you please remind me?

It seems weird that the NBA doesn’t have a mailing address for a guy who owns part of one of their teams, but there you go. In addition to “a bitch”, a $50,000 fine is not one of Jay-Z’s problems. Kanye backed up Jay by adding an “ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” to the last words at the ends of his sentences to fill up space, a move considered “genius” by everyone who heard it.

You can listen to the song below, if you’re one of those squares who doesn’t already have it. Please be advised that it contains harsh language and adult situations, and that every time they make me type “niggas” I’m pretending to type “guys”.

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Ohio State has had a fantastic first half of 2011, from the firing of Jim Tressel to the forfeiting of an entire, Sugar Bowl-winning 12-1 season. The second half of the year is all about penance and proving their sincere adherence to Ohio and its culture, so it should come as no surprise that the school is one of three to have signed a deal making them an official part of the LeBron James Brand™. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel first reported Saturday that Ohio State would join Kentucky and Miami as the first three teams to specifically represent LeBron lebranded Nike gear, which should end up looking a lot like Michael Jordan’s, only without any rings. As accessories, I mean. Miami makes sense, Kentucky makes sense because of John Calipari, and Ohio State makes sense because they have no f**king clue what they’re doing anymore.

Of course, OSU has been supporting LeBron and sporting a LeBron logo since before that was a hangable offense, and Ohio State wins a lot so they’re the one Ohio-area sports team LeBron didn’t completely insult and abandon. And yeah, you can leave me a comment to tell me I’m a “hater” or whatever, but I don’t care about the Cavs or The Decision, I’m still pissed about him wearing a Yankees hat to an Indians game.

Anyway, Cleveland is of course already writing newspaper editorials about how Ohio State is tone-deaf to the state’s dislike of this guy, but honestly is there anything more “Ohioan” right now than not being able to shut up about LeBron James? It’s right there next to Jojo potatoes and flammable bodies of water. Bill Livingston of The Plain Dealer is impassioned in his response to the announcement, but he’s missing one important point:

But THE Ohio State University? Are they kidding?

Actually, OSU basketball players have worn “L23″ insignia since 2007 on their uniforms. During much of that time, James was a Cavalier and a non-quitter.

I don’t know if Bill watched those years when LeBron lead the Cavaliers into the playoffs, but they didn’t exactly end with LeBron valiantly battling the flu and pulling out a victory in the clutch. LeBron is the same guy, he’s just wearing a shirt we hate. If the LeBron Brand overtakes college sports, Cleveland isn’t going to have anyone to root for.

Man, I wish they had a baseball team.

[h/t The Dagger]