In our continuing effort to share with you the best in sports-centric hip-hop, please enjoy the opening lines of “Niggas in Paris” from Jay-Z and Kanye West’s “Watch The Throne” collaboration. It is notable for two reasons: one, because it explicitly deals with New Jersey Nets minority owner Jay-Z’s visit to the Kentucky Wildcats lockeroom during the 2011 NCAA Tournament, a visit that violated NBA regulations and cost him 50-grand; two, because it is the best remake of a Joni Mitchell song ever.

Your lyrics of choice:

So I ball so hard motherf**kers want to fine me
First niggas got to find me
What’s 50 grand to a motherf**ker like me
Can you please remind me?

It seems weird that the NBA doesn’t have a mailing address for a guy who owns part of one of their teams, but there you go. In addition to “a bitch”, a $50,000 fine is not one of Jay-Z’s problems. Kanye backed up Jay by adding an “ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” to the last words at the ends of his sentences to fill up space, a move considered “genius” by everyone who heard it.

You can listen to the song below, if you’re one of those squares who doesn’t already have it. Please be advised that it contains harsh language and adult situations, and that every time they make me type “niggas” I’m pretending to type “guys”.

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Ohio State has had a fantastic first half of 2011, from the firing of Jim Tressel to the forfeiting of an entire, Sugar Bowl-winning 12-1 season. The second half of the year is all about penance and proving their sincere adherence to Ohio and its culture, so it should come as no surprise that the school is one of three to have signed a deal making them an official part of the LeBron James Brand™. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel first reported Saturday that Ohio State would join Kentucky and Miami as the first three teams to specifically represent LeBron lebranded Nike gear, which should end up looking a lot like Michael Jordan’s, only without any rings. As accessories, I mean. Miami makes sense, Kentucky makes sense because of John Calipari, and Ohio State makes sense because they have no f**king clue what they’re doing anymore.

Of course, OSU has been supporting LeBron and sporting a LeBron logo since before that was a hangable offense, and Ohio State wins a lot so they’re the one Ohio-area sports team LeBron didn’t completely insult and abandon. And yeah, you can leave me a comment to tell me I’m a “hater” or whatever, but I don’t care about the Cavs or The Decision, I’m still pissed about him wearing a Yankees hat to an Indians game.

Anyway, Cleveland is of course already writing newspaper editorials about how Ohio State is tone-deaf to the state’s dislike of this guy, but honestly is there anything more “Ohioan” right now than not being able to shut up about LeBron James? It’s right there next to Jojo potatoes and flammable bodies of water. Bill Livingston of The Plain Dealer is impassioned in his response to the announcement, but he’s missing one important point:

But THE Ohio State University? Are they kidding?

Actually, OSU basketball players have worn “L23″ insignia since 2007 on their uniforms. During much of that time, James was a Cavalier and a non-quitter.

I don’t know if Bill watched those years when LeBron lead the Cavaliers into the playoffs, but they didn’t exactly end with LeBron valiantly battling the flu and pulling out a victory in the clutch. LeBron is the same guy, he’s just wearing a shirt we hate. If the LeBron Brand overtakes college sports, Cleveland isn’t going to have anyone to root for.

Man, I wish they had a baseball team.

[h/t The Dagger]

Oh wait, that’s a reference to The Wizard Of Oz and not Cinderella. But since 8-seed Butler is still in the tournament, I feel like we need a new theme. The “brick” analogy might be appropos, as VCU went cold from their field before falling to the Bulldogs, 70-62.

Virginia Commonwealth, one of the last teams awarded an at-large berth in this year’s NCAA tournament, came up just short of an unprecedented national title game appearance. The 12-seed Rams lost to Butler in the national semifinal Saturday, ending one of the more surprising runs in recent tournament history.

“Some of our shots didn’t fall. Open shots, shots we’d been making,” [point guard Joey] Rodriguez said. “I think if you go back and look at the tape, you’ll see some of them were in and outs. Almost felt like it wasn’t supposed to happen or something.”

–Y! Sports.

VCU would have been the first school to emerge from a play-in game to the national title; while Butler, the Indianapolis school with an enrollment of less than 4,000, finds itself back in the national title game after losing its best player from last year.

Butler will face UConn in the championship; the Huskies ran the table in the Big East tournament to secure an automatic bid in the field of 68. UConn held to Kentucky to 33 percent shooting but only edged out a 56-55 win.

Oh, and I guess Maya Moore is out of the women’s tournament, whoever that is.

KENTUCKY — The year is 2011 and the ‘Cats are raw; in the rearview mirror is the motherf**king law. He’s got two choices, y’all: pull over the car, or bounce on the devil and put the pedal to the floor. But rappist Jay-Z isn’t trying to see a highway chase, and he’s got a few dollars with which he can fight the case. So he pulls over to the side of the road and hears, “Son, do you know why I’m stopping you for?” Because he’s young and he’s black and his hat’s real low? Is he under arrest or should we guess some more?

An NBA spokesman confirms that the league is investigating Jay-Z’s presence in Kentucky’s locker room after the Wildcats clinched a Final Four berth.

The rapper visited the players after their victory over North Carolina on Sunday at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J, home of the Nets. Jay-Z is a part-owner of the team and attended the Nets’ 120-116 loss at New York on Wednesday.

This would be an NBA rule violation, as the league prohibits team personnel from having contact with players who aren’t draft eligible. Spokesman Tim Frank told the Associated Press the league is looking into it.

In a statement released earlier today, Jay said that he’s “tried to ignore [it] and talk to the Lord, pray for them, ’cause some fools just love to perform [investigations].” He then began to laugh and gesture wildly, suggesting that producer Rick Rubin would be “crazy” when he hears about this.

[Associated Press]

"Let's name jspearlman the ambassador to Libya."

ESPN reported last night that just two of the 5.9 million submitted Tournament Challenge brackets predicted the Final Four correctly. That’s roughly two more than I would have ever imagined picking Butler and Virginia Commonwealth to make the Final Four, but nevertheless I tip my cap to those two evil geniuses. After all, it takes real balls to put an 8- and 11-seed in your bracket’s Final Four, especially on the same side.

One of the two perfect Final Four entrants, “jspearlman”, is in first place, while the other isn’t even close (6,343rd place). But the man currently on top of the World Wide Leader’s $10,000 mountain isn’t in the clear just yet. He chose VCU to win it all, but the entrant only 50 points behind him, “dawgpound513”, still has 3 Final Four teams alive and Kentucky winning it all. And the person in third place has 3 teams remaining and UConn winning it all. And none of us really care that much because we lost weeks ago.

How about your “celebrities”, ESPN?

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Three days after being named the consensus No. 1 team in America, the Kentucky Wildcats lost their very next game. Kentucky and their very young squad headed to Columbia, SC, where they were met with hostile aggression and exuberant defense. One might have thought that John Calipari had just written a disparaging blog post about Haiti. The Wildcats also were met by Devan Downey, whose 30 points help push the South Carolina Gamecocks over the newest No. 1, 68-62.

“This is what happens when you have young guys who think we’re are going to win at the last minutes of the game,” Kentucky coach John Calipari said.

“Those guys are very talented,” Downey said of the Wildcats. “But they’re also freshmen and this was a hostile environment.” –Y! Sports.

It was Downey’s fourth 30-point game in his last six outings. Also, Michigan State barely beat Michigan, and Kansas State did same with Baylor. We’re still about five weeks from the redundant conference tournaments, so let’s just come back to college basketball then, or until someone gets arrested. Cool? Cool.