In case you haven’t heard, 8th-seed Robert Morris University knocked off the defending national champion Kentucky Wildcats, 59-57, in the first round of the National Invitational Tournament. No, seriously. Here, look.

Still don’t believe it? Here’s the YouTube description.

Robert Morris beats Kentucky
Robert Morris beats Kentucky
Robert Morris beats Kentucky

It was pretty incredible, despite Kentucky having to basically give up the spoils of being a top seed to play the game on the road. That’s outweighed by the hilarious tininess of Robert Morris, who didn’t bring in enough fans in an entire season to match one of the Wildcats’ home games.

Although the Wildcats were the top seed in the tournament, they had to travel to Robert Morris because Rupp Arena is being used for NCAA Tournament games. The total attendance for all of Robert Morris’s home games was 15,692. The attendance for Kentucky’s final home game was 24,294.

Robert Morris moves on to face the winner of the Providence/Charlotte game, and while a second round appearance is really all they’re guaranteed — they aren’t getting a giant new stadium for a bunch of new crazy bandwagon Colonials fans or anything — they’ve already enjoyed one unexpected perk.

Via Reddit comes the best possible edit to the Robert Morris Wikipedia page. It encapsulates everything you need to know about the upset in one beautiful reference to English-American history. Boom:

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So far, our sports-related Christmas updates have been pretty weird. We’ve featured pro wrestlers (both foreign and domestic) singing Christmas carols, the NBA inspiring hate for their CGI ‘Carol Of The Bells’ commercial and the Boston Red Sox trying to sell season tickets with rehashed Christmas Vacation jokes. And now, because the quest to be the weirdest Christmas update of the year keeps escalating, here’s a Fort Wayne, Indiana, family paying homage to a game-winning 3-pointer in synched-up Christmas lights.

Via Jeff Eisenberg at The Dagger:

Yes, that’s Christian Watford’s 3-pointer to beat Kentucky at the buzzer last December in Christmas lights form. It starts with the Indiana fight song, it goes quiet for a couple of seconds and then it leads right into the radio play-by-play of the shot that signaled the Hoosiers’ return to national relevancy.

That’s a pretty original way of supporting your favorite basketball team, no? A-plus for the idea, B-plus for the execution.

Here’s the video, which you will enjoy, assuming you are not these peoples’ neighbors. If you are these peoples’ neighbors, here’s a great website where you can buy shovels, which, when ordered, may be used to bludgeon these people into unconsciousness.

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Nerlens Noel is a 6-foot-10 18-year old from Everett High School in Massachusetts, rated as the #1 player in the class of 2012 by ESPN, poised to be the heir apparent to Anthony Davis at the University of Kentucky. He was in the middle of an on-campus pick-up game against a bunch of kids as a thank you to all the people who’d camped out for tickets to the school’s Big Blue Madness event when he went up for a dunk. The picture you see above this paragraph is the exact moment when everyone in attendance goes from “YEAH DUNK IT” to “oh my god we’re all doomed”.

For whatever reason, Noel bricked the two-handed dunk and went straight to the ground on his back. It’s hard to say what was going through the minds of the Kentucky fans watching, but the phrase “wailing and gnashing of teeth” comes to mind. If he’s hurt, there go the national title hopes. Luckily for everyone, he was all right. Want to know why? Because a child broke his fall.

Now that you know everyone involved is ‘find’, check out the video of the dunk, after the jump.

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Screw the ring, check out that oven. Baller.

As we hadn’t heard his name much since being one half of an incredibly douchetastic night club fight that nearly ended Tony Parker’s basketball career, I assumed that rapper/bad shaver Drake was laying low after the negative attention. But according to MTV’s RapFix, Drake’s been busier than ever, collaborating with a bunch of rappers that I’ve never heard of. On top of that, he’s also been hanging out with comedian Kevin Hart, as the two pitted their posses against each other in a giant paintball match this weekend.

However, the bigger Drake news is that he’s back on Instagram, according to people who type poorly in all caps, and on Saturday he posted the above image of his very own University of Kentucky championship ring. Drake, of course, graduated from played for attended dropped out of high school once performed at UK, so he’s practically the greatest Wildcat player of all-time.

Let’s forget all that, though, and focus on my new favorite thing – terribly racist and ignorant Instagram comments.

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Fewer things were easier to make fun of during the NCAA Tournament than Kentucky Wildcats center Anthony Davis and his incredible unibrow. But while it may seem mean to pick on a kid and his extra misplaced facial hair, it’s important to remember that in just over a month he’ll be a millionaire, as if he wasn’t already better than the people making fun of him. For instance, I suck at basketball but do not have a unibrow, and that does not make us even.

Comedian Joe Mande, though, is not done pointing out the hilarity of Davis’ unibrow, as he recently whipped up some photoshops of the next Tim Duncan as Frida Kahlo paintings. If you’re unfamiliar, Kahlo is the artist who was portrayed by Salma Hayek in the film Frida.

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There was a point in the second half of last night’s NCAA men’s basketball championship game that I found myself wondering, “Hey self, is this game on track to become what most people on the Twitters will call one of the worst national championship games in recent history?” Thankfully, the Kansas Jayhawks made one of their trademark late runs to chop a 16-point Kentucky Wildcats lead down to 5, making it a slightly above average title game.

And that’s about all there is to it, because terrible ball-handling by the Jayhawks in the last three minutes allowed the Wildcats to win their first title since 1998 and the 8th in program history, according to the really lame “GR8NESS” thing all the fans were doing. But congrats to Kentucky fans, unless they keep setting their cities on fire, in which case you guys are setting a poor example for the students of schools with terrible basketball programs.

As for the star of this game, UK’s Anthony Davis, he probably had the most amazing 6-point effort we’ll ever hear about, because his 16 rebounds and 6 blocks show just how amazing he might possibly one day be, depending on whether he stays at Kentucky or becomes the guy that Michael Jordan passes on as the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft.

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