This makes me want to plug my ears with my fingers and shout-sing DO WAH DIDDY DIDDY DUM DIDDY DO. (via Cosby Sweaters)

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Links

10 Athletes Who Would Have Been Greater If They Listened To Kenny F*cking Powers - If you missed this yesterday, kiss my ass and suck my dick, everyone. (but no, seriously, read it) [With Leather]

10 Celebrities Who Look Like Abandoned Mattresses - Somehow this may be the greatest meme in Internet history, simply for how accurate it is. Poor January Jones. [UPROXX]

Madonna Joins Twitter For A Day, Flirts With Deadmau5 - Prince should join Twitter, he should have a midi of one keyboard note playing in the background and every tweet should be the continuation of the same non-stop sentence. [UPROXX]

5 Directions Medicine Can Go In Now That Cancer Is Toast - More stuff that gives 70-year olds boners, please! [Gamma Squad]

Quick Hits: Verdicts and Renewal Odds on 5 New Television Series - Everything on CBS: loved and renewed. Everything on NBC: good stuff canceled, stuff that looks like it should be on CBS renewed. [Warming Glow]

Hunger Games Review: The Future is Blurry - I sure am excited to keep hearing people talk about this movie when I’m in line at the grocery store. [Film Drunk]

Question Of The Day: Who’s Copping The Air Yeezy 2? - I don’t know what that means. [Smoking Section]

20 Supporting Actors From ’90s TV Shows Then And Now - A nice follow-up to my Waldo Geraldo Faldo joke in yesterday’s Best and Worst Of WWE Raw report. [Buzzfeed]

‘Zou Bisou Bisou’ & 15 Other Awkward TV Serenades - David Brent and Greg Brady absolutely do not count. Uncle Jesse absolutely does. [HuffPost Comedy]

Forget Kony 2012, getting Steve Holt in the Arrested Development movie is the most important cause of the year - Steve Holt! Not getting arrested for public masturbation! [Fark]

‘Downton Abbey’ Gets an American Spoof With ‘Downton Arby’s’ - Great, now I want jalapeno poppers, a roast beef sandwich the size of my face and a Mountain Dew the size of the rest of my body. [The FW]

The 10 Best Shows in the Fox Network’s 25 Year History - I’m sure ‘Woops!’ is number 11 and Pajiba just made a mistake. [Pajiba]

Patrick Willis obviously listens to Kenny F*cking Powers.

Kenny Powers isn’t perfect. I know, I spit out my Mountain Dew and bourbon when I wrote that, too. But it’s true. He’s a man who has made mistakes after tasting legend status, and he’s paid the greatest price for his arrogance in taking his God-given talent for granted. America, though, is about second chances and stories of redemption. That’s why when some people see Kenny as a man who hates foreigners, the truth is that he just loves American and feels “that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good.” Patriotism, indeed.

As Kenny continues his baseball renaissance and his climb back to the top, where he will wear the Scream mask all he wants, he has been given the unbelievable honor of becoming the first ever Mother F*cking CEO of K-Swiss. And his appointment is already changing the lives of thousands of professional athletes and millions of aspiring athletes. For once, thanks to Kenny Powers, his incredible motivational speaking ability and his opus, K-Swiss Blades – you’re f*cking in.

Read the rest of this entry »

Click to make it bigger. Personally I’m voting for Reggie Bush, because maybe if you have a bad enough life, the curse works in reverse?

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Links

What If Presidential Politicians Were More Like Kenny Powers? - I don’t know, Bill Clinton was already pretty much Kenny Powers and he was awesome. [Warming Glow]

Three Stooges trade Kate Upton’s heaving breasts for Sofia Vergara’s - Sorry, I’m gonna have to veto this trade. I may be interested in trading Kate for Monica Bellucci, though. [Film Drunk]

Leo Messi Hat-Trick Breaks Barcelona All-Time Goal Record - Puns about messy record-keeping, and at least two well-meaning jokes about how nobody watches soccer. [Smoking Section]|

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 3/19/12: Little Mac Versus Bald Bull - If you haven’t already, go read my thing about pretend underwear fighting. People watch it, but it isn’t any good. Woo! [With Leather]

If Don Draper Handled Modern Marketing - “He’d would’ve slept with Jenna Marbles at least two years ago.” [UPROXX]

Meme Watch: Pissed Old Guy Is Very Pissed, Very Old - Back in my day, we hung pictures of old people on the walls of our schools, we didn’t photoshop sentences over them. [UPROXX]

Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - +1000000 for Ruby Rhod cosplay. Also, I’d like to be friends with the lady doing demade Harley Quinn. [Gamma Squad]

8 Funny Faces Of The “Mad Men” Cast At The New York Stock Exchange - Needs more “Pete doing the Charleston”. The new season also needs that. [Buzzfeed]

The Funniest #RomneyToys - The only problem I have with funny Republican candidate jokes is that you can’t do the same thing with Obama, because being super racist is usually the only joke Republicans have for him. [HuffPost Comedy]

Two Firemen Dressed in Drag Put Out Burning Car - Yep. [The FW]

A Photographic History of Jennifer Lawrence’s Brief Career - This is barely an article and is just a bunch of pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, but I’m not gonna complain. [Pajiba]

Hell is Other People – How Gamers are Ruining Gaming - I feel their pain about online gaming. I went online once with Red Dead, wandered around scared out of my mind that somebody was gonna call me the n-word, then logged off. It wasn’t great. [Unreality]

Military Dad Dresses Up as Captain America to Surprise His Son by Coming Home on His Birthday - The guy Military Dad’s wife is sleeping with while he’s gone should show up as USAgent. [Brobible]

Oh, sorry, the Kate Upton Sports Illustrated cover story is AFTER the Morning Links, this is a guy literally busting nuts. With his butt. Sorry for the confusion!

(via The FW)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

The Best Of #Kenny Powers - “So, besides getting shot in the back of the head do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school and no, I’m not making that up.” [UPROXX]

One ‘Community’ Character Will Die: Let’s Place Odds - Can it please be Chang? There’s nothing Chang does the Dean can’t do better. [Warming Glow]

5 Reasons “Comic Book Men” Stinks - Reason number f**king one: we are not 18 anymore, and “tell ‘em Steve-Dave” just doesn’t have the same impact. [Gamma Squad]

Sports, Illustrated: In Celebration Of Alex Morgan’s Body Paint Bikini - Lots of swimsuits this week. Make sure you didn’t miss the one made out of paint. [With Leather]

Nicki Minaj Offended The World At The Grammys - or, “Nicki Minaj did something on purpose to make headlines because she isn’t good at music and people bought it, because people are dumb”. [Smoking Section]

Henry Rollins’ awesome letter to Chris Farley from 1995 - Sadly, not the same Chris Farley. “YOUR FILM BLACK SHEEP WAS MALICIOUS AND CAPRICIOUS.” [Film Drunk]

Inevitable ‘Who The F*ck Is Bon Iver?’ Reactions Vastly Improved By The Rise Of ‘Bonnie Bear’ & ‘Bony Bear’ - Dude should just change his band’s name to Bonnie Bear and be done with it. I’d listen to Bonnie Bear. [UPROXX]

NYU Girls’ Newt Gingrich Slumber Party - Nowhere near as awesome as Kent State’s Dennis Kucinich parties, where all the girls are 6-foot-3 vegan redheads. [Buzzfeed]

15 Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes By Comedians - “Those flowers fer yer wife fer Valentine’s Day? NOPE, just thought I’d do a lil’ mid-February gardenin’! Here’s yer sign!” – Bill Engvall [HuffPost Comedy]

Jay Z’s ‘99 Problems’ Recreated with Film Clips - See, THIS is what the Internet is for. [Brobible]

Movies That Should Get The 3D Treatment - Not gonna lie, I would go see a 3-D re-release of Snow Dogs. Country Bears, too. [Adult Swim]

20 Favorite Rom-Com Actors Under 40 - I feel like you shouldn’t be a “rom-com actor”, you should just be an actor who has appeared in a romantic comedy. Once you get into Kate Hudson territory it’s time for retirement. [Moviefone]

8 Animal Misconceptions Rundown - Number 9: Dogs can’t look up. [High Definite]

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

The Bizarre Twitter Obsession With Tim Tebow Possibly Having Herpes - Apparently Twitter has never heard of cold sores. Ron Mexico has herpes AND murdered a bunch of dogs, let’s stay focused here, people. [Buzzfeed]

Arkansas State’s One-Armed Fan Deserves Props for an Awesome Sign - Well done. Also, it’s fun to pretend “Brobible” rhymes with “probable”. [Brobible]

The Best Of #Jack Donaghy - “I tracked him down to an address in Brooklyn. He’s on LinkedIn, Lemon. He might as well be dead.” [UPROXX]

The World Was A Much Better Place With MTV’s Rock N Jock Sports - Don’t sleep on this gallery of pants Dan Cortese has worn. MTV should bring this back, but first they’ve got to seem like they’re run by human beings again. [With Leather]

Jay-Z Delivers New Song “Glory” For Baby Blue Ivy - Nas should record a Blue Ivy diss track, now. Jay whimpering about how beautiful his daughter is really puts those SHE’S THE DAUGHTER OF THE ILLUMINATI SATAN rumors into perspective, doesn’t it? [Smoking Section]

“Shameless” Season Two Review: Emmy Rossum Now Even More Naked than Ever - I love how HBO and Showtime have basically just turned into the Mr. Skin Network. Emmy Rossum should try filming an episode with her shirt on and see if the show gets any better. [Pajiba]

Kenny Powers Is Back. Thank God. - “You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not gonna like you no matter how many pull-ups or push ups you can do.” [Warming Glow]

Here’s The Ghost Rider 2/He-Man Mashup Absolutely No One Saw Coming - Solid, but not as good as the Four Non Blondes/He-Man mash-up (though few things are). [UPROXX]

What’s With The Devil Inside’s Ending? - I hate this so much I can barely put it into words. This is the Lynchburg Virginia Haunted House of movies. Sure, the house is great, but there’s a dude waiting to tell me to go to his church and get keen on Jesus at the end. [Film Drunk]

Is Spanish Actress Lina Sanz Angelina Jolie’s Long Lost Twin? - I bet Angelina Jolie is really tired of people sending this to her. I also bet she’s never used a computer, and sends e-mails via courier. [The FW]

The Largely Depressing Fates Of 10 Iconic Child Actors - If the people who wrote this think Chunk losing weight and becoming a lawyer is depressing, they should read about what happened to the little girl who voiced Ducky in The Land Before Time. THAT sh*t is depressing. [FARK]

Altering More Childhood Memories with Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone Cosplay - Forget Betty, Pebbles circa ‘The Pebbles & Bamm-Bamm Show’ is where it’s at. [Unreality]

In just four years, San Francisco 49ers linebacker Patrick Willis has already taken his place as one of the greats in the game today. When K-Swiss had their four-day shoot to restart their awesome Kenny Powers “MFCEO” campaign, With Leather’s Josh Zerkle was invited to check it out and spend time with the athletes supporting the California-based shoe brand. Willis was reached via phone and asked about his experiences with the K-Swiss campaign.  Portions of this Q&A were edited for clarity and space.

So what are you up to today?

My girlfiend is getting her nails done, and I came with her. Once a month, I try to come in and get my feet done. I know some people are like, “Man, I’m a dude,” but it really helps. I don’t my nails painted or any of that. But yeah, once a month I like to come in and get my feet done, keep my heels from busting open. That kind of thing.

Your girlfriend probably appreciates that, too.

Right, yeah. [Laughs].

So, first question. Are you best inside linebacker in football right now?

[Pause.] Yessir.

Yes! [Clapping hysterically] That’s awesome!

But I say that with some humbleness and hunger behind that, you know? You said, right now, at this point in time? That was a weird question. You asked me that question, I mean, what else am I gonna say? I believe in myself, but there are guys out there like Ray [Lewis] and Brian [Urlacher] and guys like Takeo [Spikes], those guys are the pioneers of the game and that’s who I’m chasing, to get a legacy comparable to their. You say those names, and you just think “Wow, those guys can play.” True players. That’s what I’m trying to get to.

I think it says a lot about the quality of your play that a west-coast guy that plays defense can…I mean, those aren’t the guys that get endorsements in the NFL, and now here you are doing work for K-Swiss. I think that says a lot about what you’ve done in just four years in the league.

Yeah, it has been a blessing. I don’t let it get to my head. I’m still trying to think about how I can get better. Today, I wanted to rest. I know I needed rest, I don’t feel like I can rest. What if somebody else is working today? So I gotta do something, whether it’s mentally or something physically, I gotta do something.

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