Just who, exactly, are the Phillies trying to get into the ballpark this year? I've seen some strange promotions, but this one seems like maybe not so great of an idea (last item).

For quirky, though, it'll be hard to beat June 26's "Stitch 'n' Pitch Night," when fans are encouraged to bring knitting, stitching, quilting or other projects to the game.

Yes, yes… Tens of thousands of Philadelphians carrying around ten-inch needles. What could possibl-eye go wrong?

For the record, the Reds will be in town that night. I better sell my Upper Deck Ken Griffey Jr rookie card before he loses both his eyes to quilting needles. Of course, that's assuming he can make it as far as June 26th without a hamstring injury.

Also, as 289 has implied, it might be wise for Brett Myers's wife to go visit family that week. I'd hate for her to accidentally fall down some stairs and get strangled by some yarn. Just because she wouldn't listen.

Mike Conley, Jr. hit a tough layup to give Ohio State its final lead against a stubborn Wisconsin team on Sunday, and — as Bill Simmons pointed out on his basketball blog — hoops skills run in the family. Even though Mike Conley, Sr. wasn't a pro cager, his skills as an Olympic gold medalist in the triple jump translated pretty well to this Foot Locker dunk contest of yesteryear.

Conley Sr's competition included Junior Griffey and Deion Sanders, and you know it was a long time ago, because they're both rocking Kid n Play fades, and Griffey doesn't pull a hamstring (that we can tell).

The Cincinnati Reds kept their playoff hopes alive by coming back from an early 4-0 deficit to win 5-4 on Ken Griffey Jr's three-run, pinch-hit home run in the 8th inning. It was Griffey's 563rd career home run (tying him with Reggie Jackson all-time) in his first appearance since dislocating his toe trying to catch a Barry Bonds home run at the beginning of the month. God, could Barry Bonds BE a bigger dick? Using every steroid under the sun wasn't enough, now he's taking out his nearest competitors in the Hank Aaron chase.

It's easy to make fun of Griffey because he could get injured walking to the car in the morning, but sports fans with pure hearts should like Griffey. He singlehandedly saved baseball in Seattle (1995 ALDS comeback victory over Yankees = sweet), then left not because of money but because he wanted to play for his hometown team. He's one of the few bright stars from baseball's steroid era whose name hasn't been linked to the scandal. And he reminds me of a time when I was just a starry-eyed, naive sports fan, a virgin who worked too hard and didn't get noticed. Funny how some things never change.