Remember earlier this year when a dozen or so Miami Dolphins fans showed up to Joe Robbie Pro Player Sun Life their stadium to protest the ongoing employment of general manager Jeff Ireland and everyone was like, “Awwwww, those poor fans think they can make Stephen Ross make good decisions”? Well, Miami Marlins fans just made those Phins fans and their “Fireland” signs look like the million man march.

With news today that the blockbuster trade between the Miami Marlins and Toronto Blue Jays has been finalized, fans of South Florida’s embattled baseball franchise flocked to their year-old stadium to express their disdain with owner Jeffrey Loria for trading away half of their team for a group of players that doesn’t even include the Blue Jays’ top prospect. And as anyone would have expected, you could count the Marlins fans protesting on one hand.

But commissioner Bud Selig ain’t care, because this trade is in the best interest of something, apparently.

Read the rest of this entry »

"And all he wanted to talk about was where I got my underwear."

The fun of any Olympics is political subplots, as politicians, special interest groups, and various mouth-breathing hate mongers can use the global focus of this gathering of the world’s greatest athletes as a chance to draw attention to themselves. One of the issues that has people fired up leading into the London games is the inclusion of nations that enforce laws that discriminate against gays and lesbians, and many people think that those countries should be banned, while others think they shouldn’t. And while the argument is important, it’s probably rather unfair and distracting to the openly gay athletes who are competing in this year’s Olympics.

But since I hate politics and giving credence to those who discriminate, let’s talk about the lighter side of Olympic homosexuality, as it was believed this week that all of the gay that was descending upon London had crashed the gay singles app Grindr. Of course, that had some people (who I won’t name) freaking out because they thought this was the surest sign of the pending gaypocalypse. Turns out they were wrong. And stupid.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last we checked in on the Euro 2012 tournament, there were apparently stray dogs and soiled mattresses on the corners of every street in Kiev, but that wasn’t stopping European countries from sending their best soccer players to compete for the Henri Delaunay Trophy in between nailing every wannabe soccer WAG in sight.

Here’s a look at the Euro 2012 tournament field when action begins on June 8:

Um. There you have it. I think.

Unfortunately, the real news isn’t the actual games taking place in the Ukraine and Poland, but the trophy itself, as the radical Ukrainian feminist group FEMEN has tried and succeeded on multiple occasions to knock over the Delaunay Trophy during the preliminary trophy tour. But I don’t mean radical like, “GRRRRR VIOLENCE!” I mean it like, “Bro, they’re all topless.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Ever since that whole “Occupy” thing started way back when, I was always curious as to why there weren’t more protesters at sporting events, railing against those millionaire athletes and billionaire owners for having all that success and money and not giving it away for free. But aside from a few threats of protesting the Super Bowl (too cold in Indy) and World Series (St. Louis fans will kill someone for ruining their baseball), the Occupy folks have been relatively quiet about sports. I figure it’s because they spent so much time ignoring sports as kids, so why should they pay attention now?

Australian world-saver and Occupy “member” Trenton Oldfield is ready to buck that trend, and he began his crusade against elitism in sports this weekend by disrupting the 183rd run of the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race.

An intruder protesting against elitism and privilege brought both boats to a standstill just over halfway through the 4 1/4-mile race when he swam into the middle of the River Thames and narrowly avoided being struck by the oars of both crews. (Via NBC Sports)

Take that, old wealth!

Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday we touched on the fury of a growing number of Miami Dolphins fans with the team’s GM Jeff Ireland, and how the first step in this united fan coup was roughing up the guy’s Wikipedia page. Part two begins a little later today, as a South Florida radio station claims fans are going to show up to team facilities and protest the franchise’s seemingly inept free agency, as punctuated by the signing of QB David Garrard late yesterday.

Fans across message boards and comment sections have even gone as far as to boringly dub this effort “Occupy the Dolphins.” Man, I guess you could say there’s really some ire in the land right now.

*flushes toilet*

Not so fast, though, says Miami Herald beat writer Armando Salguero. Sure, Ireland hasn’t done anything great during his GM tenure, but has he done anything really that bad to deserve something as cruel as Wikipedia editing?

Someon (sic) hacked into Ireland’s Wikipedia page Tuesday and edited in some unkind things about him being born in a Denny’s parking lot etc… Maybe that sounds funny to you. Maybe you’re cheering the imagination of that move. I guess I’m not talking to you.

I am talking to the folks who are thinking for themselves. Break down the moves on their own merit. Tell me what you would have done. Tell me where you would depart from the current course.

Be fair.

Yeah, don’t say the dude was born in a Denny’s parking lot. That’s not cool. That’s like asking a potential draftee if his mom is a prostitute. Sports fans are always supposed to be calm, mature and rational at all times, but apparently Salguero’s plea for tranquility came a few hours too late, as someone also made some changes to Dolphins owner Stephen Ross’ Wikipedia last night.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why, they have all attended the NBA Finals, of course! Originally, this post was titled, “Hey, Did Kelly Clarkson Get Hot Again?” but then I saw a story in the Dallas Voice about the Westboro Baptist protesting the NBA Finals in Dallas because the NBA had the nerve to fine Kobe Bryant and Joakim Noah for using “f*ggot” as an insult in two different games this season, and I wanted to point out that the WBC seriously sucks.

From the WBC’s batsh*t crazy ramblings press release:

WBC will picket the NBA game between the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat to warn this nation that they need to tear down their idols and worship only the true God, Jesus Christ. The people of Doomed america set up these spoiled, rebellious basketball players and other celebrities as little gods that they emulate then curse the real God, Jesus Christ because He does not supprt their vile sins.

Of course I didn’t edit that for them, they’ll learn to spell when they get to the third grade. I’m mostly upset that their presence briefly took my attention away from the lack of star power at this year’s Finals. Granted Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne pack some major celeb cred, but ABC hasn’t even been filling the stands with the cast of Rookie Blue. The least they could do is put Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen courtside and maybe have them pudding wrestle Elisha Cuthbert. It’s called marketing, damn it.

Regardless, there have been a few famous faces in the crowd, so we should enjoy what we have.

Read the rest of this entry »