That was the announcement from @UMMaizeRage, the “official twitter of the University of Michigan Maize Rage, college basketball’s most passionate and attractive student section.” I don’t know why they picked jorts — the colloquial name for jean shorts — but they seemed pretty jazzed about it.
This, courtesy of Lost Letterman via Instagram, was the result:
My favorite Warming Glow contributor, Josh Kurp*, sent me an email earlier with a link to a Tumblr post that featured the above picture. What you see, obviously, is a man wearing a Chicago Bulls hat with fake poop on the bill. At least I hope that’s fake poop. If it’s real poop, then we’ve got a whole different ballgame going on.
But based on the assumption that the poop is fake, I am forced to ask – why? For further head-scratching, I will refer to the person who took this strange picture, @cordjefferson.
At some point after the New Orleans Saints evened their preseason record to 2-2 despite the fiery hell wishes of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, Lance Moore made a decision. The oft-promising 28-year old receiver stood in front of his locker, stared at something he picked up at an LMFAO garage sale and thought, “Yes, this is the outfit that I’d like to wear to address the media tonight.”
Meanwhile, 1,100 miles or so away, Colby Rasmus was asking himself what he could do to break out of the humiliating slump that he’s currently enduring for the Toronto Blue Jays. Unfortunately, on Saturday, Rasmus went 0-for-3 and struck out 3 times, as the Blue Jays lost to the Baltimore Orioles, 8-2. At some point prior to that goose egg, Rasmus thought to himself, “Corn rows, that’ll end this 1-for-40 misery. Yes, corn rows.”
So obviously that begs the most important question of the day – who did it worse, Moore or Rasmus? Let’s examine.
While I was blithering on like some handsome buffoon yesterday about the Turtle of Michael Phelps’ entourage complaining that the celebrated swimmer was spending all of his money on poker and not shoes for his friends, I was missing out on a huge scandal. Apparently some nogoodnik released two photos from Phelps’ upcoming Louis Vuitton campaign, and that’s a huge offense to the International Olympic Committee.
How serious is it? Phelps could actually lose some medals if it’s determined that he knew about this leak.
A new IOC regulation, called Rule 40, prohibits athletes from appearing in ads for non-Olympic sponsors from July 18 to Aug. 15. According to the IOC’s 19 page explainer, Rule 40 is designed to prevent ambush marketing, defined as non-Olympic sponsors trying to associate themselves with the Olympic brand. (Via CNBC)
The above image was leaked by a website in Barcelona on August 7, which is obviously much earlier than the IOC sponsorship rule allows. From there, a bevy of other websites ran the bathtub pic and another (after the jump), including the perennial Pulitzer contenders at The Daily Mail, which, according to CNBC, even managed to spell the entire title of the article correctly.
So who the hell released these photos? Will Phelps actually lose any medals? Who wears a bathing suit in the bathtub? Trust me, those questions are the least of Phelps’ worries.
There are plenty of things wrong with the world to be freaking out over right now, but I suppose that if you’re a big Summer Olympics fan who loathes hats, you could make a case for being most upset about the new Ralph Lauren U.S. Olympics get-ups (above) that were revealed this week. I don’t see what the big deal is. Yeah, white pants are always dangerous with Michael Phelps splashing that Subway avocado mess all over the place, and sure, they’re preppy, but our athletes should look nice.
But there are plenty of people bitching and moaning this week that our American athletes should not be wearing berets, the hat of the French. At the front of that complaint line is the adorable panel of Fox & Friends, as they just cannot believe that someone would make our finest examples of Americans stand before the rest of the world in another country’s headgear. Absolutely deplorable, Ralph Lauren.
And before any of you complain – if you even bother reading this far before you hit the comments – I’d make fun of any cable news show that featured such a ridiculous complaint. However, I’d still pick F&F first, though, because Steve Doocy is so damn punchable.
UPDATE: People are pissed that the uniforms are made in China. I know this because they typed their rage on computers made in Japan.
I try to keep the Kellen Lutz news to a minimum here, because 1) He’s not an athlete and ii) Vince is the president of his fan club so he gives us all things Lutz at FilmDrunk, but today’s a big exception because this involves Kate Upton. Upton, who is of course the reigning With Leather Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year, is the new face of the Fall 2012 ad campaign for Dylan George and Abbot + Main, whatever those are.
Lutz, that little rascal, was already the male model for these clothing companies, so he was able to parley that into taking his shirt off and standing next to Upton for that same campaign. The result is me holding a hand over one eye while praying for that last button on Upton’s shirt to suddenly pop off. But then she’d probably just cover up with Lutz’s essential beach cardigan.
I’ll never get fashion.
