If you were wondering, the title of this video translates to “Fastest girl from Kazakhstan!” The YouTube description reads:

The new technique of training young athletes.

You know, I’m hesitant to use the KIDS WHO COULD KICK MY ASS tag — that’s usually reserved for monster 9-year old weightlifters and kids who break out Street Fighter moves on bullies, but damn, if this girl keeps training, she’ll be a goddamn whirlwind by the time she’s large enough to hit with some force.

Wait, she can already do that? All right, all right.

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"Hey bro, you okay, bro?"

On Friday, the 76th annual IIHF Ice Hockey World Championship got underway in Finland and Sweden, and the U.S. team laid a 7-2 hurting on Team France for anyone who might have missed the game (translated: errbody). Obviously, France was pretty pissed off about that humiliating defeat, so the Fightin’ Eiffels came out swinging pretty hard against Kazakhstan yesterday. France won the game 6-3, but that’s not what anyone is talking about today.

The game featured 63 penalty minutes in total, but the biggest hit of the game belonged to 24-year old French forward Sacha Treille, who laid a vicious shoulder shot to Roman Starchenko’s head-ish/neck-ish regions, knocking him out cold. Treille received a major and match penalty, good enough for an ejection, and the hit will be reviewed by the IIHF disciplinary panel.

Sadly, I think this means I have to retire my Zinedine Zidane headbutt GIF as my favorite French sports cheap shot. I think it’s worth it, though.

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A few days ago we shared a clip from the toddler Kumite and people seemed to like it, so now every time children get stuck in brutally violent adult situations I’m going to try to share it — for example, by way of Best Week Ever comes this clip of a bunch of Kazakhstani 9-year olds turning a post-game hockey handslapping into a full-bore gang war.

It’s hard to pick a favorite part of any Kids Beating The Hell Out Of Each Other video, but I think the kid in the upper left corner at the :30 mark being carried away kicking and screaming like he’s Veruca Salt is the best. The worst part is Kokshetau-Burabay’s green #10 skating up and punching a kid in the back of the head while he’s in the mount. You’ve got to try pretty hard to be the least sportsmanlike person in a bench-clearing brawl.

[h/t Robopanda]