It shouldn’t be surprising that a guy with a name like a terrible Game Boy game (Ja’Juan Story) would say something shocking and hilarious in an interview, but here we are, being a little surprised. The Brooksville Nature Coast wide receiver and incoming Florida Gators freshman helped show how awesome sports would be if nobody told players what to say by referencing both Katy Perry and doodoo (and nearly everything else that exists) in an interview with Gator Country’s Amy Campbell.

Q: What’s the most played song on your iPod?

A: Most played…I don’t know, I want to say Katy Perry, “Fireworks.” It’s intense.

Q: What’s your favorite pre-game ritual?

A: Well, I take a doodoo. Before every game I doodoo.

Q: That’s your FAVORITE pregame ritual?

A: Well, that’s the only thing I do. That’s one thing I have to do before every game, or I won’t feel energy, and I’ll just feel slow. When I do I just feel light on my feet and everything, and I feel faster, so that’s what I do.

Q: You know I’m going to write this in a story right?

A: Well, I mean, that’s what it is. I doodoo and then listen to Katy Perry.

In a related story, interviews with players would be great if we never came up with questions better than these. LeBron James, what is your favorite color? Red? NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

But no, if you can’t get behind a college football player who loves to sh** and rock out to “Ur So Gay” (or at least want to read about him, as “getting behind him” could be dangerous), I don’t know what to tell you. This exchange of dialogue is only the squeezed off tip of the iceberg. At one point he says he has a great business idea for sports, but won’t share it, because the interviewer would steal it. He also uses the phrase “my booty was out.”

[H/T Alligator Army]

Katy Perry was pictured sporting this dress on Saturday, in order to play Switzerland as the US squared off against England in the World Cup. A classic move reminiscent of Laura Quinn’s neutral Fiesta Bowl jersey. Perry, who is engaged to gender curious “comedian” Russel Brand, certainly proved herself to be a snappy dresser. She took what could have potentially been an awkward situation and made a titty witty joke out of it.

Like a donkey eating a waffle! Sweet Sassy Molassey! Get out the checkbook and pay grandma for the rubdown!

Now that I’ve got that out of my system – among other things – let’s move on. As you probably already know, Katy Perry is an all-American gal, but she also has to weigh a conflict of interest of sorts given that her fiancé is none other than British comedian Russell Brand. So, the lovely Miss Perry did her best to straddle the conflict regarding the U.S.-England match on Saturday by rocking this incredible getup which featured both the U.S. and Union Jack flags. –Sportressofblogitude

I’m a fan of women being athletically aware, but the flag she sported on her chest dress isn’t the English flag. She was wearing this the British flag. The English flag is actually this. I know that because I took geography class in middle school. We had pop quizzes on what countries had which flags, and I studied for those quizzes. Afterwords, I got high on Sharpie ink and slept through algebra class.

I bet some douche clothing designed made the dress that way intentionally. Those people don’t have time to care about what’s factually relevant. They’re way too busy doing coke and smoking with cigarettes in the company of lingerie models to be troubled with things that the “hoi polloi” believe are “written in books” or “bad for your health.”

More pictures of Katy can be seen here, and the ref’d SNL skit can be seen after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »