Last week, ESPN finally gave the NHL some much-needed coverage, except that it wasn’t good coverage and it involved Stephen A. Smith pretending to be an expert on something that he knows nothing about. Basically, Screamin’ A wrongly compared the Chicago Blackhawks’ incredible points streak to the Miami Heat’s winning streak, which would be like me comparing Kate Upton’s breast size to Stacy Keibler’s legs, in that they’re both incredible and worthy of discussion but they have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

But whether ESPN was using SAS to further the network’s anti-NHL agenda or it was just a drive-by nut punch to a sport that desperately needs better ratings, it got us talking about hockey for at least a few minutes. I’ve long argued*, though, that the NHL needs to add some serious star power if it wants to re-emerge as one of America’s premier sports, and the league should be showcasing celebrity fans like Paulina Gretzky, Carrie Underwood, Elisha Cuthbert and Hillary Duff, among others, in order to bring more fans around.

And now we can add Katy Perry to that list since she’s suddenly a big Los Angeles Kings fan.

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As news leaked yesterday that ESPN had produced a music issue of the network’s magazine that will hit stands on Friday, the spectrum of reaction ran from “Oh God why?” to “Wait, music, huh?” And while I would totally be on board with ESPN the Magazine publishing an issue dedicated to professional athletes who have acted like musicians and vice versa, this is instead just an exercise in athletes dressing up to look like popular musicians. I know, I don’t really understand it either.

Included in the issue, which features LeBron James on the cover with Dr. Dre, is an interview with Jimmy Iovine, the man behind the Beats by Dre headphones. He claims that LeBron James is a better athlete now than he was four years ago because of those headphones. Seriously. Additionally, there’s also a feature on Seattle’s new superstar emcee, Macklemore, who our own Josh Kurp wrote about yesterday.

But the real fun is had with the athletes, and it starts with Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte recreating Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album cover.

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Thanks to Katy Perry for that horrible headline, and for wanting to see my dick so badly.

Anyway, what appears to be a centipede crawling up a dude’s nose is actually the facial wound of Craig Peacock of the UK Elite Ice Hockey League, a 24-year-old Belfast Giants forward who dumped a guy over the boards and caught a skate blade in the lip. As we learned from a profusely bloody KHL defenseman who left most of his jugular on the ice, you should always be mindful of the other players’ feet, because they are attached to death and dismemberment.

I have a tendency to overstate the gruesomeness of injury photos, so I won’t get all hyperbolic about this one, but will warn you that the before stitches shot (included after the jump) is … pretty horrifying. It looks like somebody was trying to dig an irrigation ditch in his face. Viewer discretion is advised.

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Yesterday, we shared an appearance from Los Angeles Clippers alley-oopist Blake Griffin on Conan, wherein he made a bunch of weird faces and created Conan O’Brien to be his teammate in NBA 2K13. In a better world I’d be sharing Conan clips every day, and Metta World Peace would accept his fate and become the Masturbating Bear.

Anyway, today’s Conan clips feature World Series champion and insectoid athlete overlord Hunter Pence discussing what happens when your bat shatters and hits a ball three times and/or the value of using a Katy Perry song as your walk-up music. He also reveals that when he doesn’t know what’s happening and people tell him to run, he does so by flapping his arms around and yelling “woooo”. HE IS ALSO A BUNCH OF INSECTS IN A MAN SUIT.

Both clips are after the jump.

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Pre-show notes:

- Yes, there’s a gif of her doing that inside. If you don’t read the column regularly, now’s a good time to start.

- Thanks to Casey of Hammerlock Dialectic for making that sales pitch a reality.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- After you’re done reading the report, make sure to head over to Progressive Boink and read my wrestling content there. On Friday I did The Top 10 Least-Threatening Looking Pro Wrestlers Named Ricky and you should totally read/comment/like/share it so they’ll be okay with me doing more. The only thing Jon knows about wrestling is Hulk Hogan and body slam. But I guess that’s really all you need to know.

Anyway, please enjoy this week’s Best and Worst of WWE Raw column for June 25, 2012. SID shows up and it rules.

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For international super duper soccer star, model and Burger King spokesman David Beckham, his most recent Los Angeles Galaxy game may have been the most important of his life. Beckham is desperately trying to convince Team Great Britain that he still has some gas left in the tank for one last hoorah for his home country’s hosting duties at the 2012 Summer Olympics. And nobody on the planet knows his fate except one man.

Team GB’s manager Stuart Pearce attended the Galaxy’s match against the New York Red Bulls this past Saturday, and Beckham’s effort was pretty much a colossal dud as the Galaxy lost 1-0. However, it probably says something that Pearce was sitting with Beckham’s agent, mom, sister, wife and children. It also doesn’t hurt that Galaxy coach Bruce Arena is all, “Put him on the team, bros.” Regardless, Pearce will reportedly make his decision for the 23-man roster tomorrow.

In related news, Beckham is also heavily featured in the latest Adidas ad campaign. You know who else is in the ad campaign? Katy Perry. You want to know what Katy Perry looks like in an Adidas sports bra? Of course you do.

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