According to UK’s Metro, Kate Upton is the second hottest woman in the world, and that must be true because lists are legitimate ways of determining everything. Watch this: The World’s Most Handsome Man? Me. No. 2 is Brad Pitt. That can’t be argued because it’s a list, and so the world keeps spinning in this incredible Internet era.

The hottest woman in the world, according to Metro, is 25-year old Michelle Keegan, who I have never heard of before and in this photo she looks like Ashlee Simpson, so I just laughed and laughed. Anyway, there’s no need for Upton to be upset, because there’s one man out there who still thinks she’s special, and that’s none other than our favorite confused celebrity athlete – Ryan Lochte.

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Obviously, like a lot of American men between the ages of 13 and however old I am, I adore Kate Upton. But when my best friend RoboPanda (category: GammaSquad) sent me the above video of Upton in a Gillette ad, I wasn’t expecting that laugh. Is that her real laugh? Because, yikes.

Either way, congrats to Upton on Justin Verlander’s new MLB record payday. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she better lock that down.

As for this weekend’s sports action, SPOILER ALERT: It’s all NCAA Tournament action. Even though Indiana destroyed my hopes last night. That’s important to note, because I’m the only person in America who picked Indiana to win it all. Crazy, right?

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Los Angeles high school senior Jake Davidson achieved Internet fame last week when he posted a very creative video prom invitation addressed to two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Kate Upton. Bless her busty heart, Upton Tweeted at Jake and played along like a good sport, as she even called into NBC’s Today when Jake was being interviewed about his crush, because Matt Lauer has nothing better to do.

But now the fame is over, because Upton did a little crushing of her own. And by that I mean his heart.

“It was so flattering,” Upton, 20, tells PEOPLE. “The video was so cute, and I really appreciated it. There was something about it that I knew I had to respond.”

“When a guy has a good sense of humor and confidence, that’s attractive,” she says. “This video was creative and funny. It made me laugh, and everyone loves a good laugh!

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go with him or not, due to my schedule,” she says. “I want to, but I just don’t know if I can make it work. But I really appreciated being asked; it made me feel really great!” (Via People)

Sure, that’s not a definitive “No”, but we’re all old enough to read between the lines. But if I can, I’d like to take a moment to have some real talk with Jake, from one bro to another, now that he can just focus on finding a girl at his school to take to his prom and awkwardly try to make out with at the end of the night.

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Getcha some, old dog.

It has been a pretty big week for golfing legend Arnold Palmer, between his Invitational tournament currently taking place at the Bay Hill Club here in my beautiful Mecca of Orlando and the upcoming launch of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2014, which features the 83-year old icon and some of the greatest golfers of all-time. So it’s only natural that The King would get some of his old swag back and take a shot at Kate Upton.

The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover model joined Palmer for lunch yesterday to show some support for the Arnold Palmer Hospitals, and because he is actually sort of responsible for Upton being famous in the first place. Something about him referring her to an agent or whatever.

So if you think that this was just a case of two nice people getting together for a good cause, you’re probably right. But believe me that there’s still a club or two left in this dog’s old bag.

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Yesterday, we pondered aloud whether or not Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson deserved to be taken seriously with his creative prom invitation to our beloved Kate Upton, and it appears that we came through for Jake, because she has responded to him.

The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Tweeted at Jake last night, telling him to call her Katie, which is just complete BS because we just try and try and try and try and all we get is “Please refer to her as the plaintiff”. So is she going to make Jake the coolest wealthy teenager among all of his wealthy classmates?

The answer is an incredible, resounding – probably not. UPDATE: Jesus, either Kate is incredibly sweet or she’s going to go through with this.

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Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson is a man with a dream. Well, technically he’s one of millions of men, ages 13 to 90, with a dream of wooing our favorite Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model and celebrity sports fan Kate Upton. Unfortunately, I think many of us – at least those of us in the non-psycho category – have realized that unless we can throw a 101-mph fastball through 9 innings and 110 pitches, we don’t stand much of a chance when it comes to stealing Upton’s heart.

But not being a Cy Young-winning pitcher won’t stand in Jake’s way, because he is staying the course in his desire to embarrass himself in Upton’s presence, as he recently recorded and posted a video dedicated to the two-time SI cover model, asking her to be his date to his prom.

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