Hey, welcome back. How was your Independence Day, assuming you’re American? Mine was great. It’s so dry in Texas right now that a Bic lighter flick would set half of Austin on fire, so my fireworks experience was limited to what I could see on TV and what I could see glaring out of my window into the parking lot at like 11:30.

Sports

PoV: Bo Jackson Climbs An Outfield Wall - Bo Jackson’s legacy these days is basically Tecmo Bowl, but he was really something special in his prime. Imagine Albert Pujols, except super fast and scaling walls. That’s either the best baseball player ever or a terrifying nightmare. [Smoking Section]

Fausto Carmona’s Bogus Journey - If you were Away From Computer yesterday (and you probably should’ve been) we did a full day of updates, including this little gem about Fausto Carmona’s haphazard rollerblade trip to first base in Saturday’s Tribe game. As my good friend Davey Vega put it, “he should probably just retire”. [With Leather]

When Patriotism Goes Wrong: The Best of Fireworks Fails - We also covered “sort-of not sports” yesterday, including this gallery of people getting hit (or pretending to get hit) in the johnson with fire. [With Leather]

Welcome Back, Doomsayers - Kissing Suzy Kolber returns from its sexy vacation, so now there is 100% less of that busty Dolphins girl on my With Leather sidebar. [KSK]

Not Sports

Thor Sequel to Be Less Shakespearey - …which is too bad, because it’s going to be opening on the same weekend as Batman 3, Spider-Man negative one, Iron Man and Hulk Ultimate Team-Up, What If: The Movie starring The Punisher and probably Wolverine, six concurrent Superman movies, a Booster Gold mini-series and parts 1 and 3 of a Flaming Carrot trilogy. Picture of Kat Dennings somewhat related. [Film Drunk]

Man Who Unleashed Rebecca Black On the World Tries Again - I like that the guys who were so bad at music and videos it became a phenomenon are now saying they “masterminded” Rebecca Black’s rise to stardom. Sure, and I masterminded my toe into the coffee table this morning. [Uproxx]

Over 12 Minutes of Batman: Arkham City - I may have to stop blogging for a couple of weeks when this gets released. If you come to With Leather and it’s just two posts by Burnsy and gallery of me playing PS3, you’ll know what happened. Dear God, make this come out right now. [Gamma Squad]

The Ten Best Corgi Blogs On the Web - Arguably every corgi blog on the web is one of the best, except for that weird racist one. I’m just kidding, but you know there’s a racist corgi blog somewhere. If not, I’m gonna start one. [Warming Glow]

Alternate title: e’ouch

Before you can even type “Albert Pujols out 4-6 weeks following wrist injury”, the Internet has turned itself inside out reacting to Kansas City Royal Wilson Betemit’s Flash-on-Anti-Monitor run into Albert’s glove, showing us that the world’s most powerful living entity can feel pain, and that when he feels it, he does a weird little hop to show it.

Of course, if what’d happened to Pujols happened to me I wouldn’t have hopped weird, I would’ve collapsed into a screaming mess there by first base and hyperventilated until I passed out and somebody dragged me to a local medical facility. In the even that you haven’t seen the play from Sunday, hop over to embed-unfriendly MLB.com and check it out. It isn’t Theismann’s Leg bad, but it might make your wrist hurt for the rest of the day.

So, what does this mean for the Cardinals? It means more Lance Berkman. Anybody excited about that? Maybe Red Schoendienst has an extra pair of homer-hitting pants that Berkman can wear until Pujols heals. The Cards have been doing all right without Adam Wainwright, so the loss of Albert will be the next step in the social experiment to see how many players you have to take away from a team before they start playing like the Spring Twins.

[via The Entire Internet]

Oh, hello, I didn’t see you there. Sorry, since about the middle of last night I’ve been dancing around in circles with a glitter wand, laughing and clapping my hands because (so far) this has been the best baseball season ever. The Tribe scored 19 runs to beat the second place Royals in front of a sellout Kauffman Stadium crowd of two midgets and a severed torso, and it was glorious. I can’t wait until we clinch the division, then move on to tackle steam-powered steroid digger Jose Bautista and his lookers-on in the playoffs.

The only words I know to “Oh Happy Day” are oh, happy and day, but I’m singing it anyway.

Sports

Tribe Offense Piles on 19 Runs to Rout Royals - In case you skimmed that opening paragraph, go read this game recap from a guy who has my dream job: writing about the Indians killing the Royals. Actually, I think my dream job would be writing about the Indians killing the Yankees, but I think it’s the same job. Oh who am I kidding, my dream job is being Lee South and taking cheesecake photos of wrestling girls. Or possibly being Winnie the Pooh at Disney World. [Indians.com]

The 20 Ugliest Caps Licensed By Major League Baseball - This made me laugh out loud, if only for how much I could identify. I don’t think the Tribe hat featured here is ugly, necessarily, but I will be in the cold, dead ground before I wear a baseball hat that isn’t proper baseball team colors. Come for the racism, stay for “Funky Dopetastic.” [SBN]

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According to a report from Japan’s Yomiuri Giants, former Kansas City Royals pitcher Brian Bannister has responded to last month’s earthquake and tsunami by quitting his job, fleeing the country and quitting professional baseball forever. Apparently he left the country on March 16, and the team is just getting around to finding out about it now.

Bannister is ditching a one-year deal worth $1.8 million signed in January, which means (assuming he didn’t go to Japan until he signed that deal) he stuck it out for almost two months before he got the Fear of God put into him and threw in the towel. The guy is only 30 years old and isn’t especially worse than some of the lower-level starting pitchers still hanging around in the Majors, but he explicitly told Japanese baseball officials he “has no plans to play in either Japan or the United States.” He then added, “SUPER RUNAWAY” and ran off with his arms flailing in the air.

Brian Bannister spent five years in the Major Leagues, and will always be remembered for temporarily playing baseball.

[Japan Times]

Since it appears unclear that pitching ace Cliff Lee will pick his new team anytime soon, it’s worth noting on the last day of baseball’s winter meetings that Kansas City Royals pitcher Zach Greinke is being shopped by his team. Greinke’s stock has fallen slightly, but might find itself in the mix if the Yankees’ seven-year offer for Lee gets rejected.

Greinke, 27, slumped last season to 10-14 with a 4.17 ERA following his Cy Young-winning season in 2009. He is under contract for two more seasons at $13.5 million a year.

Royals officials readily acknowledge Greinke is only available at a steep price; they want two high-impact prospects – preferable a starting pitcher and a middle infielder or center fielder – and two prospects capable of playing a supporting role.

–KC Star.

Greinke’s qualified WHIP fell from first to 13th among AL starters (min. 200 IP), so he’s still a veritable bargain if he can be poached from a trade. Ah, those Royals. They’re like a farm team that plays against major league teams. I would know; I’m a Reds fan.

We’re now in the phase of the MLB season where the leagues glacially roll out their post-season awards; and we were moderately tickled to see Kansas City Royals ace and object of female WL readers’ affection Zack Greinke scoop up the AL Cy Young Award after one of the best seasons in baseball history. Greinke finished the season with 229-1/3 innings pitched, a 2.12 ERA and a pant-droppingly low 1.07 WHIP.

Greinke’s struggles with anxiety disorder are a part of his life and cost him most of two big-league seasons. But his poised brilliance on the mound conceals a young man who still isn’t terribly comfortable with all the recognition his talent has brought him. “He didn’t even answer the Cy Young call because he did not recognize the number on his cell phone,” the Kansas City Star’s Joe Posnanski writes. –The Daily Fix [Wall Street Journal]

Of course the nerds are rejoicing, as they feared that Greinke would lose the award to one of the six players that finished the season with more wins. They pointed to a stat called Fielding Independent Pitching (FIP), but really that sounds like a bunch of hogwash. Why use a bunch of statistics for such a thing when there are plenty of unbiased sportswriters at your disposal? Those guys are really knowledgeable and certainly would weigh each player’s performance equally. Especially when Greinke goes to play for the Yankees in 2011.