I guess losing 37-10 to the New York Jets doesn’t sit well with anybody.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired coach Todd Haley on Monday, effective immediately.

The team did not name an interim coach in their statement announcing the move, however a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that the Chiefs have told members of their organization that defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel will replace Haley on an interim basis.

Haley’s run in Kansas City wasn’t all monstrously embarrassing losses … he went 19-27 in his three seasons with the Chiefs, and he took the team to an AFC West division title in 2010, even if they bailed in the playoffs. Statements from the Chiefs have been largely positive, full of “Todd helped” and “this was a difficult decision”, but it’s pretty hard for me to feel sorrow or sympathy for any football coach for doing anything, because their job is more or less to stand there screaming and murmur quietly through post-game press. The press releases always find their way to “but this is what’s best for the team” in a few words. I want to see a coach keep his job through performances like this because the CEO thinks going 5-8 is what’s best for the team.

For more on the firing, I turn to the Twitter of the only Chiefs fan I know in real life, Jon Bois:

Reports: the candidates for the Chiefs’ coaching job narrowed down to an ape who has fallen into a well and the bell he won’t stop ringing. Chiefs also considering hiring a recently-divorced shirtless man who totally just ate a children’s cartoon-themed cereal with water

For one easy installment of … wait, $5,000?? Jesus Christ!

By way of our socially conscious pals at Deadspin comes eBay auction “Broncos Tim Tebow Rookie Game Worn Used Pants Team COA”, a.k.a. the pants Tebow was wearing when he threw his first NFL touchdown pass last season against the Chiefs, and you could be the winner, should you have five grand to burn and absolutely no idea what to do with your life. If “a guy you’ve heard of wore these pants” isn’t enough, consider the auction’s extremely concerning selling points:

Throughout the pants there are multiple hit marks, stains, and tears.

which goes great with

The handwarmer and towel came direct from the broncos locker room.

… so in the event you wanted to buy these pants under the condition that they’d been warmed by Tim Tebow’s taint you’ve got a second chance with the hand towel. I need more information from the seller. Have these directly encountered scrote?

I haven’t decided if I’m wholly in the “so what if he led the comeback against the Dolphins, he beat a winless team by three points in overtime and was terrible the entire game” camp or the “he is God’s special little angel” one, but he’s going to have to do a little more than force Miami to suck if he wants me to drop 5k on trou. I wouldn’t pay $5,000 for Shakira’ pants. I wouldn’t pay that much for my own pants.

Four teams are still winless. Three of them seemingly don’t need quarterbacks. One team is starving for a franchise QB. And while one 0-4 team can’t seemingly keep losing with such a talented young offense, and another can’t keep losing because it has the best running back in the NFL, the other two seem poised for a collision course of suck for the remainder of this season. It should be quite exciting.

As a reminder, these rankings are in reverse order and are based on the theory that Stanford QB Andrew Luck will be the first pick of the 2012 NFL Draft, even though he’s a junior and may not even declare. There are clearly many teams that don’t need a QB, so they’re not going to be ranked toward the top of this list, especially if they win games. I only mention this because one of my friends actually complained to me on Friday that I ranked the Philadelphia Eagles too low because “they’re better than their record.” Settle down, this is just for fun. Also, they’re not.

What’s that you say? Enough with my imaginary friends and on with the Suck For Luck Power(less) Rankings? Your wish is Chad Henne’s worthless injured shoulder my command.

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After last week’s inaugural “Suck for Luck” Power(less) Rankings, Matt from Warming Glow was upset that I didn’t include a Seattle Seahawks logo on the banner image, and I thought that I should explain the exclusion since he can beat me up. You see, as I’ve stated previously, this is by no means a scientific method. In fact, it’s pretty simple to point out that the Miami Dolphins and Indianapolis Colts are going to be sucktastic on legendary levels this season and the Green Bay Packers are going to be really good.

But it takes a lot of extra thought to sort through those teams that are teetering on the edge of “holy sh*t they’re awful” and “it sucks that they’re going to win a few games.” Obviously, Seattle is not a good team, so the Seahawks very well could end up making Andrew Luck their No. 1 pick next year. The problem is, though, that they play in the NFC West and are bound to win 4 or 5 games just because of the terrible competition, as we witnessed yesterday.

So I offer my apologies to anyone who felt slighted about their sorry ass team’s ranking, but if these rankings offer us anything, it’s the blinding reality that the Dolphins will somehow screw themselves.

On to the suck!

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In a pro football world where wearing high-top cleats to honor the passing of Johnny Unitas can earn you a $25,000 fine, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that players hoping to wear red, white and blue gear on the 10th anniversary of 9/11 is a punishable offense. Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs tweeted about his new patriotic Reebok gear and how he expects to be fined for wearing it. So did Kansas City Chiefs running back Jamaal Charles. So did Washington Redskins tight end Chris Cooley and Tennssee Titans quarterback Matt Hasselbeck and most of the San Diego Chargers. So whether or not the league approves, they can’t fine everybody for supporting their country … can they?

Briggs:

Reebok great job on these gloves and shoes..looks like I’m getting fined this week. Lol! By far the best fine I will ever have to pay. Thanks…Fines for gloves could be as much as 5k..the shoes 8-10k I think. not 100% on the shoe fine.

Is wearing 9/11 commemorative gear “showboating”? Is it being done to draw attention to the players who choose to break the rules? To give them more media coverage? I’m blogging about them. I think it’s a valid consideration, but when your talking point is “do I or do I not want to show respect and reverence to my country’s worst tragedy in my lifetime” I’d hope the simple gesture of fellowship and patriotism would not go hand-in-hand with the Lambeau Leap. At the same time, what are Never Forget gloves accomplishing, and isn’t there probably a better way for rich people to show their support to the victims of the attacks?

Regardless, don’t assume the league is totally heartless: the NFL and NFLPA will donate $1 million to related charities and memorials. Of course, the average NFL team is worth about $1.04 billion and ESPN just completed an eight-year extension worth as much as $1.9 billion annually with the NFL for the rights to Monday Night Football, so the issues of “how much can we give” and “how much can we take away from you” sort of go hand in hand.

[h/t Shutdown Corner]

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassel led his team to an AFC West title last season. Not bad for a guy that never started a game in college. When K-Swiss had their four-day shoot to restart their awesome Kenny Powers “MFCEO” campaign, With Leather’s Josh Zerkle was invited to check it out and spend time with the athletes supporting the California-based shoe brand. Cassel was reached via phone on his way home from relief work in Joplin and asked about his experiences with the K-Swiss campaign.  Portions of this Q&A were edited for clarity and space.

How did you fare on camera for the commercial shoot in Wilmington, NC?

To be completely honest, I have no idea how I fared on camera, because most of the first day I was there, Patrick [Willis] was there and he had his shirt off the entire time, and I just…I don’t think he had a shirt on the entire day. Let’s just put it that way.

[Laughing]

I told them, “Look, I’m wearing a shirt, okay?” I, for some reason, was not genetically blessed with the six-pack and that whole deal. So as you watch the video, I think you’re going to recognize, one, that I was overshadowed from the body standpoint, but that’s okay. I told them, “Maybe you could play around with the special effects, hook me up, ya know?”

[Laughing]

But seriously, it was a blast. We had a lot of fun. K-Swiss is a great company, and to go to Wilmington and do a photo shoot and commercial shoot with Danny McBride or Kenny Powers was totally cool because I’m a Kenny Powers fan.

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