Suck It, Justin Verlander

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.09.11

Last week, pitchers Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers and Francisco Liriano of the Minnesota Twins threw no-hitters and everybody was all like, “Oh snap, two no-hitters in one week?” And eternal Pulitzer nominees like the Detroit Free Press are wondering if a guy like Verlander is finally set to be a star for his second no-no. Of course the answer is… hell no. Not when Kelsi Dunne is kicking ass and taking names.

A University of Alabama softball sensation, Dunne pitched the ninth no-hitter of her collegiate career Friday night against Ole Miss, as the Tide won 8-0 in exciting college softball fashion. The only thing that stood between Dunne and perfection was a hit batter, but I’ve heard that women tend to experience emotional flares every four batters.

In all seriousness, though…

According to Alabama head coach Patrick Murphy, this title is for the hurting community that has supported the Alabama softball program since the beginning.

“This was for Tuscaloosa and all the communities in Alabama that were hit by the tornados,” Murphy said. “It’s great to bring home an SEC championship two years in a row and we can’t wait to celebrate with the people of Tuscaloosa.” (Crimson Tide Examiner)

Both the Tide and the Rebels presented checks to tornado relief efforts before the game, which is commendable and admirable enough to make sure this doesn’t spiral off into jokes about fantasies and pillow fights. This time.

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JUSTIN VERLANDER THREW A NO-HITTER

Written by Matt / 06.13.07

Justin Verlander kicked the crap out of the Brewers last night, becoming the first Tigers pitcher to throw a no-hitter at home in 55 years.  With his fastball clocking in at over 100 mph, his curve and change fooling hitters, and an assload of seagulls swarming the field, the Brewers managed to get only three balls out of the infield.  Verlander struck out 12 and walked four.

By comparison, when I was 24 (Verlander's age) I drank a case of wine — not a box, a case of 12 bottles — with some friends in the parking garage of a San Diego mall, then later got tossed out of a strip club when I took my shirt off.  So I understand what it means to accomplish something so great at a young age.

Other MLB scores: Huzzah! Mariners continue to roll with win over Cubs in 13 innings… Yanks climb back to .500 thanks to stingy Wang… The Phillies defeated the White Sox with Cole Hamels on the mound, who earned his NL-leading 9th win.  Hamels also leads the NL in chicks from Survivor banged.

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