How long have you been an NBA fan, and what team do you root for?

Eighteen years, from the womb. L.A. Lakers.

That’s what pop star Justin Bieber told ESPN’s Jared Zwerling just last November, but a lot can apparently change in a matter of six months, as Bieber was sitting courtside at Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, wearing a Miami Heat hat. After all, the Biebs is the same guy who once filmed a World Series promo for Fox while wearing a Texas Rangers jacket and San Francisco Giants hat, so we don’t expect him to know too much about what it means to be a self-confessed lifelong fan of one particular sports franchise.

Of course, some NBA fans consider the Los Angeles Lakers to be direct rivals of the Miami Heat, among other teams, because the purpose of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh forming the “Big 3” was to create a new dynasty, winning not one, not two, not three, etc. championships and making people forget about the Kobe Bryant-era Lakers. Therefore, a lifelong “from the womb” fan like Bieber would understand that it’s not acceptable on any level to wear a rival team’s hat.

But this is Bieber’s world and we’re just sweatin’ his swagger in it.

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Yesterday’s edition of Watch This made a bold prediction that the Miami Heat would defeat the Indiana Pacers by 2,000 points in Game 7 of the NBA Easter Conference Finals. The Pacers took Game 6 with embarrassing ease, so of course the end of the story is “the Heat get their shit together and win by as much as humanly possible.” It wasn’t by 2,000, but it was by 23, and that’s still pretty bad.

If you missed the game (because you were watching hockey, or guys pretend to underwear fight each other) don’t worry … we’ve collected the five moments from the game you couldn’t afford to miss.

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Warming Glow usually handles weekly recaps of Saturday Night Live right after it airs. As a site that updates Monday through Friday we don’t always get that timely Sunday morning bump, but SNL covered the Super Bowl Blackout and I’ll be damned if I don’t dedicate a post to Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe impression.

Here’s what the folks at WG (where I one day hope to lord over everyone with my ‘Arthur’ jokes and terrible pro wrestling recaps) had to say about the cold open:

Nice of the SNL makeup department to make Tim Robinson look like Bill Cowher’s thawed-out corpse. Anyway, the cold open started slowly before delivering some solid lines in the final two minutes. JB (the black JB, not the wannabe-black JB) admitting he’s never actually seen 2 Broke Girls was a nice touch, and making Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe reveal, “Ray Lewis knows who killed those people, because it was him!” was what was missing from last episode’s Weekend Update Ray-Ray appearance. Not a great opener, but not bad, either.

If you missed it, video is below. I guess they couldn’t find a realistic Dan Marino wig.

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From the Charlotte Bobcats Twitter/Instagram/Pinterest Or Whatever page:

PHOTOS: At the arena for his sold out concert, @JustinBieber was excited to meet Bobcats Chairman Michael Jordan

“Excited” wasn’t really the word. The word was SWAG, which I’m guessing Justin Bieber only breaks out for situations like meeting the greatest basketball player of all-time, and not for every f**king thing he does.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for allowing this talented forever-child the opportunity to stand beside His Airness. For your next miracle, please allow Chris Paul’s son to know Bieber, yet still grow up bending the brims of his hats and having not that haircut.

Worried about the Sacramento Kings and their impending move to Seattle? Enjoy this fan anthem, entitled ‘Hey Kings, Stay Kings! (My Balls).’ I’ve listened to it twice now, and as far as I can tell, it’s less a “please stay in our town” anthem and more of a “give us your phone numbers so we can f**k you before you leave” type thing. (via That NBA Lottery Pick

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Links

Reader Appreciation: Five Awesome Internet Finds From UPROXX Readers |Warming Glow|

‘Kanye West Wing’ Is A Match Made In Ego Heaven |UPROXX|

I wrote some haikus about the poem James Franco wrote for Obama |Film Drunk|

LeBron James and Dwyane Wade Seductively Rocked South Beach Battioke |With Leather|

Guy Builds A Functional Iron Man Gauntlet With Lasers. Take That, Back Of The Hand. |Gamma Squad|

Take A Peek Into Beyonce’s World Courtesy Of GQ |Smoking Section|

Tim Tebow’s New Endorsement Deal Sets Us Up For The Easiest Joke Of The Day |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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"And that girl, and that girl, and that girl, and that girl and her mom, and that girl..."

Last time we checked in on Chris Paul’s adorable young son, he was giving us a good laugh at his dad’s expense, as CP3 asked him, “Who dunks?” to which he replied, “Blake!” The question, of course, came after the elder Paul threw down an impressive two-handed Phi Slamma Jamma against the New Orleans Hornets, and dunking isn’t usually his deal. But thanks to that cute little response, CP3’s kid became a star, and that means that Justin Bieber is ready to give him a true lesson in swag.

At last Thursday’s complete drubbing of the Boston Celtics, ever the convenient Los Angeles sports fan, Bieber took young Paul under his wing and did things like “take him to the concession stand”, which has quotes around it because you know he was parading this little dude in front of every girl at that game. And we already know all too well that Bieber doesn’t give a crap about what happens at NBA games, so I rest my case.

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